HELP SAVE HIS BUTTHOLE!!!!!
Donation protected
Please Help Fund My Brother's Colon Surgery!!!
Dearest friends,
This is my brother! There are many like him but this one is mine!!!
He is an amazing artist (see links below), a staunch defender of marsupial rights, is alergic to mushrooms and dresses very interestingly...
but mostly he is my best friend.
As some of you may know, my brother S. Fisher Williams is not well... Recently various medical type peoples have discovered two herculean and generally unpleasant polyps lurking within the confines of his once peaceful, Shire-like colon. Although the removal of such undesirables is typically not a major medical procedure, these devious little bastards have taken refuge deep within the walls of his large intestine and by the looks of things have no intention of going without a fight.
"They're the size of strawberries Mr. Williams... fleshy butt fruit growing inside of you."
-Medical type person #1
At present we do not know if they are cancerous, although the general consensus is that if they are the malignancy should be confined within the polyps themselves and has hopefully not spread. The trouble is the procedure. There is a good chance that due to their depth and troublesome placement the only way to facilitate a complete removal would be through the execution of a Low Anterior Resection... a procedure which, as explained to me by Fisher himself when he was drunk, they would go through the abdomen and use lasers n shit, getting all Star Wars on his guts...
Lasers?... Abdomens?... sounds expensive, right?
Well, It is!
This is why I am reaching out to you today my friends. The insurance company has assured us they will cover only a small portion of the medical fees, their black hearts bleed not for ailing butts apparently. We humbly ask for your help in this matter. The surgery is to take place Friday, April 13th at the U of L Hospital in Louisville, Kentucky.
Please give what you can... if not for his butthole, do it for the butthole in all of us...
What a modest donation will get you!!
-$5 Donation: will receive a heartfelt "Thank you" email. (please include email address!)
-$10 Donation: will receive a heartfelt"Thank you" email in BOLD. (please include email address!)
*-$25 Donation: will receive an autographed S. Fisher Williams original drawing depicting one of the following scenes:
-aforementioned polyp donning a tophat.
-aforementioned polyp wearing a hockey mask in honor of Friday the 13th procedure.
*-$50 Donation: will receive an autographed S. Fisher Williams original drawing depicting one of the aforementioned polyps wearing a hockey mask in honor of the Friday the 13th procedure date AND an original drawing depicting the OTHER polyp donning a tophat.
(see below for details!)
-$500 Donation: will receive a drawing of Fisher's actual butthole in which he will spend at least 30 minutes in order to think about what it is he has done...
And things you probably won't get...
-$1,000 Donation: We will name one of the polyps after you and draw your likeness upon it's fleshy exterior once it has been removed, shaved (if applicable) and dried....
- $10,000 Donation or more: We will fly you out to KY in a replicated WWI German dirigible, treat you to a tour of the veritable plethora of local bourbon distillerys in the area and finally whisk you off to the hospital in question where you will be permitted to perform the surgery yourself.
For your assurance:
-All donations will go directly toward medical costs. In the event that the money raised is greater than the amount needed to satiate the avarice of the medical community all additional proceeds will go toward any and all further ass-related rehabilitation, up to and including comprehensive PTSD counseling, deep tissue Asian acupuncture and aroma therapy.
* drawings are to be "roughly" Artist Trading Card sized, Ink on paper, mounted to an archival 8 by 10 board. Donators must provide their street addresses so that we have a place to send them!!!!
p.s. here are some links to some of Fisher's sites
website: http://www.sfisherwilliams.com/
facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/sfisherwilliams
instagram: http://instagram.com/zombiespoon
twitter: https://twitter.com/fisherwilliams
Dearest friends,
This is my brother! There are many like him but this one is mine!!!
He is an amazing artist (see links below), a staunch defender of marsupial rights, is alergic to mushrooms and dresses very interestingly...
but mostly he is my best friend.
As some of you may know, my brother S. Fisher Williams is not well... Recently various medical type peoples have discovered two herculean and generally unpleasant polyps lurking within the confines of his once peaceful, Shire-like colon. Although the removal of such undesirables is typically not a major medical procedure, these devious little bastards have taken refuge deep within the walls of his large intestine and by the looks of things have no intention of going without a fight.
"They're the size of strawberries Mr. Williams... fleshy butt fruit growing inside of you."
-Medical type person #1
At present we do not know if they are cancerous, although the general consensus is that if they are the malignancy should be confined within the polyps themselves and has hopefully not spread. The trouble is the procedure. There is a good chance that due to their depth and troublesome placement the only way to facilitate a complete removal would be through the execution of a Low Anterior Resection... a procedure which, as explained to me by Fisher himself when he was drunk, they would go through the abdomen and use lasers n shit, getting all Star Wars on his guts...
Lasers?... Abdomens?... sounds expensive, right?
Well, It is!
This is why I am reaching out to you today my friends. The insurance company has assured us they will cover only a small portion of the medical fees, their black hearts bleed not for ailing butts apparently. We humbly ask for your help in this matter. The surgery is to take place Friday, April 13th at the U of L Hospital in Louisville, Kentucky.
Please give what you can... if not for his butthole, do it for the butthole in all of us...
What a modest donation will get you!!
-$5 Donation: will receive a heartfelt "Thank you" email. (please include email address!)
-$10 Donation: will receive a heartfelt"Thank you" email in BOLD. (please include email address!)
*-$25 Donation: will receive an autographed S. Fisher Williams original drawing depicting one of the following scenes:
-aforementioned polyp donning a tophat.
-aforementioned polyp wearing a hockey mask in honor of Friday the 13th procedure.
*-$50 Donation: will receive an autographed S. Fisher Williams original drawing depicting one of the aforementioned polyps wearing a hockey mask in honor of the Friday the 13th procedure date AND an original drawing depicting the OTHER polyp donning a tophat.
(see below for details!)
-$500 Donation: will receive a drawing of Fisher's actual butthole in which he will spend at least 30 minutes in order to think about what it is he has done...
And things you probably won't get...
-$1,000 Donation: We will name one of the polyps after you and draw your likeness upon it's fleshy exterior once it has been removed, shaved (if applicable) and dried....
- $10,000 Donation or more: We will fly you out to KY in a replicated WWI German dirigible, treat you to a tour of the veritable plethora of local bourbon distillerys in the area and finally whisk you off to the hospital in question where you will be permitted to perform the surgery yourself.
For your assurance:
-All donations will go directly toward medical costs. In the event that the money raised is greater than the amount needed to satiate the avarice of the medical community all additional proceeds will go toward any and all further ass-related rehabilitation, up to and including comprehensive PTSD counseling, deep tissue Asian acupuncture and aroma therapy.
* drawings are to be "roughly" Artist Trading Card sized, Ink on paper, mounted to an archival 8 by 10 board. Donators must provide their street addresses so that we have a place to send them!!!!
p.s. here are some links to some of Fisher's sites
website: http://www.sfisherwilliams.com/
facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/sfisherwilliams
instagram: http://instagram.com/zombiespoon
twitter: https://twitter.com/fisherwilliams
Organizer and beneficiary
Gabriel Williams
Organizer
Aurora, CO
S Fisher Williams
Beneficiary
