Help keep our home

Hello, My name is Aubree Yost, and it came to my attention yesterday with a text from a friend that I should make a forward to this post. I want you all to know that I knew my husband was an addict when I married him. He was in recovery, working a twelve-step program and doing very well from himself and for us. He bought me this house with money he would have spent on his addiction before. That being said, he relapsed under the pressure of harassment at his workplace that he was unwilling to go to HR about. I saw the signs, I asked every day but he lied. I trusted him when I shouldn't have and the money kept just slipping away. It's put us in the position we are currently in repeatedly over the last couple of years. The blame has been shifted elsewhere in the past; to his schooling, to the animals that I rescue, but that isn't where the money went. My husband as you'll read in a moment he has admitted to his mistakes and is willing, finally, to take responsibility for what he's done, but his willingness to change, seek more specific counseling and return to a twelve-step program won't save my home, my rescue, or the countless lives I take care of daily, 

I want to make it very clear that Brian has no access to our bank accounts. He relinquished his debit card willingly and allowed me to change the password for his online access. His personal account has been closed. Since he has no job at the moment, I'm the one that puts gas in his car and he isn't even the admin for this gofundme, but when I handed it to him, he asked me what he should write; and I told him to be honest. So honest he was, and this letter is the result. 

Without further ado, here is my husband's honests and heartfelt letter. 


I've made a mistake. A series of mistakes. I started with the best of intentions but everything went downhill from there. Relapse destroys more than just your sobriety. It destroys your budget, your plans, your relationships, your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Add lying about your relapse on top of that and you get a slow descent into madness for those around you while you cling to your vices because they feel like all that will help.

Three years ago I left a full-time job and went back to school to get a higher paying job. In the fall of 2018, my mental health deteriorated significantly from guilt over how my addiction was destroying my family. There was an ever-growing wedge between my wife and me, between the world and me, between God and me. All because I couldn't/wouldn't come clean about my addiction and what the real problem with our lives was. My wife did her best to make ends meet. She asked for and received the assistance she needed from many wonderful people. Yet here we are again because I kept digging us in deeper and deeper when I should have been right alongside her digging us out.

In September, I came clean about my relapse to her and our therapist. I told them both how it had been ongoing for three years. How my addiction is what had driven us into this hole. Since then things have been much better between us. Lots of conversations have been had, support has been shared, and tears have been shed. What can't be fixed through love and understanding though is the financial repercussions I have put on my family.

At current we are looking at foreclosure unless we can pay $2000 by January 1st and a repossession unless we can pay $1300 by December 28th.

I am very ashamed of myself for lying for so long. I am working hard to find a full-time position so I can contribute positively to our finances once again instead of just being a burden. We cannot keep our home or a car without help. Please help my wife as I work on turning my life around.