Rolfe Family Journey, IVF here we come
Donation protected
With every turn of the page in our little Rolfe story, we were always hopeful for our next chapter. In reality we found another volume... Our cover photo was taken with 4 hopeful souls that created a family. Now only 2 heart beats remain. Miss Sophia-Jane (our furr baby) and our first pregnancy have left us feeling so empty inside. Our life this year has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. First off, we would like to say thank you for all the love, support, and compassion we have received throughout this amusement park wave of emotions we have had during our first year of marriage. We have had so many questions through this experience that we are happy to answer. The one question that stands out in silence is.... how can we help? The answer at the moment, as hard as it is to ask, is financially. Help us buy into the In Vitro Fertilization process. We never knew this process would wipe out our savings before it even began. Help us reach our next journey through life.
Here's our latest chapter...
Death has a quiet way of sneaking up on you. I always thought the process would be loud and painful. The silence now haunts me. Our journey started while waiting for a polypectomy (the same surgery, along with a few other procedures, I just had in April and May, if you are up to date). We waited, and waited, and waited some more for my lovely girl time of the month to begin. We woke up late one morning, Jake was literally 2 hours past the alarm clock. Since he was already, we decided to check why I was "late" too.
On June 21, 2018 that little line changed our lives forever. Proof that we were parents. The next day a blood test confirmed we were, in fact, pregnant. HCG (the pregnancy detecting hormone) was 66, the nurse smiled gently and said, we are "Cautiously Optimistic". Little did we know this would be our motto throughout this process. We were invited back EVERY week for blood draws. New phrases like, “chemical pregnancy”, “miscarriage”, and “missed pregnancy” invaded our world. HCG went up from 431, to 6,629 and eventually 48,097. Our nurses were quiet with each ultrasound. We didn't understand why, or what was even happening, we were feeling less and less optimistic. July 17 we saw a baby in a sack right where it should be, we both cried. The next week on Utah's birthday, a day when most celebrate a much needed day off, we grieved. This was the day we got the confirmation there was no heartbeat. Our first ultrasound photo would be our last. We were devastated by loss. A 6 week old baby remained inside me, motionless.
A D&C was scheduled one day before my 39th birthday. When I woke up from surgery information was thrown in every direction. My doctor DID NOT do the D&C, but instead opted to give me a shot of Methotrexate. The pregnancy was a very rare bi-corneal implantation. To protect the tube from bursting this medicine would help in our future conceiving story. Weeks go by, blood is drawn and our baby was slowly going away. The numbers proved it. 8,500, 1,101, 787, 319, 116, 61, 11 with each vial of blood our hearts break just a little bit more. These falling numbers helped us wrap our heads around the process and a chance for a new beginning.
Nov 27 was the worst night of our lives. I passed out and remained on the bathroom floor for the rest of the night. Jake sat and took care of me, as we both were frightened, sitting in silence. My body was shutting down, I couldn't move. Two days later we visited the Utah Fertility center just to get some fluids. Two hours later we were rushed to the emergency room. Surgeons filled the room talking about hysterectomy at worst case and at best a c-section recovery. That was a big gap of maybes and possibilities. Our brains couldn't understand the questions that were being thrown at us. My body was shutting down, only wanting to rest. The quiet of death was overtaking my body.
Hours later, the surgery was a success. My left tube had ruptured due to the pregnancy implanting high up in the horn of my uterus. Who knew it had horns, that little devil itself? A faithful surgical team which my husband insists is some sort of mystical character, who's only job is to save all the parts that are necessary for a future pregnancy.
Weeks later my surgeon would admit they lost my pulse on the table. He attested to my strong beating heart, but I didn't have enough blood to pump. The quietness was death approaching. Our heart couldn't let this process be the end of our journey. We have the strength to carry on now due to the help of 4 awesome units of strangers blood. We are now ready to try everything in our power to not let this latest chapter be our one and only shot at being parents. The healing process continues, our hearts the hardest to mend. The surgery in November was considered a success, however the bleeding continued through 5 more months, 2 more surgeries and countless hormones to correct my bodies time clock. With the help of said hormones they will allow us to leap into this next chapter. My body is officially in menopause. Yippee for that the up coming birthday the big 40. With the assistance of all these hormones my body should be able to still carry a pregnancy. We will need a donor egg to help conceive. I never thought I would wish for my husbands sperm to mingle with another ladies egg, but under science's supervision, we are ready to do this.
The people that love us the most, or tolerate us at best, we need your help. The donor process comes with a mighty price tag. The donor egg could be our only way to produce a desired egg, unless any of you have a magical golden egg laying goose just hanging around? This process has not broken us... well maybe our pocket book, but definitely not our spirit. The bottom line is $17,694. We will need almost half as an un-financed loan. This will cover me and our donors fees throughout this IVF cycle. our doctor has told us this process should start within the next 3 months! Once harvested, the eggs belong to us and the process gets much easier financially with time. The gift of an egg, mixed this Jake's swimmers, to create an embryo with science to then be implanted back into a stitched together uterus, to create a little life. We live in such a weird world and couldn't be happier with the possibilities. We would appreciate your financial support in starting our family.
If you are not able to give a financial donation at this time please consider making a blood donation. This process would not be possible without the generosity of someone else's blood. 4 transfusions have gotten us to this place in life. I’m so happy to be alive. Thank you so very much for the consideration.
With love,
Shantell & Jake Rolfe
Here's our latest chapter...
Death has a quiet way of sneaking up on you. I always thought the process would be loud and painful. The silence now haunts me. Our journey started while waiting for a polypectomy (the same surgery, along with a few other procedures, I just had in April and May, if you are up to date). We waited, and waited, and waited some more for my lovely girl time of the month to begin. We woke up late one morning, Jake was literally 2 hours past the alarm clock. Since he was already, we decided to check why I was "late" too.
On June 21, 2018 that little line changed our lives forever. Proof that we were parents. The next day a blood test confirmed we were, in fact, pregnant. HCG (the pregnancy detecting hormone) was 66, the nurse smiled gently and said, we are "Cautiously Optimistic". Little did we know this would be our motto throughout this process. We were invited back EVERY week for blood draws. New phrases like, “chemical pregnancy”, “miscarriage”, and “missed pregnancy” invaded our world. HCG went up from 431, to 6,629 and eventually 48,097. Our nurses were quiet with each ultrasound. We didn't understand why, or what was even happening, we were feeling less and less optimistic. July 17 we saw a baby in a sack right where it should be, we both cried. The next week on Utah's birthday, a day when most celebrate a much needed day off, we grieved. This was the day we got the confirmation there was no heartbeat. Our first ultrasound photo would be our last. We were devastated by loss. A 6 week old baby remained inside me, motionless.
A D&C was scheduled one day before my 39th birthday. When I woke up from surgery information was thrown in every direction. My doctor DID NOT do the D&C, but instead opted to give me a shot of Methotrexate. The pregnancy was a very rare bi-corneal implantation. To protect the tube from bursting this medicine would help in our future conceiving story. Weeks go by, blood is drawn and our baby was slowly going away. The numbers proved it. 8,500, 1,101, 787, 319, 116, 61, 11 with each vial of blood our hearts break just a little bit more. These falling numbers helped us wrap our heads around the process and a chance for a new beginning.
Nov 27 was the worst night of our lives. I passed out and remained on the bathroom floor for the rest of the night. Jake sat and took care of me, as we both were frightened, sitting in silence. My body was shutting down, I couldn't move. Two days later we visited the Utah Fertility center just to get some fluids. Two hours later we were rushed to the emergency room. Surgeons filled the room talking about hysterectomy at worst case and at best a c-section recovery. That was a big gap of maybes and possibilities. Our brains couldn't understand the questions that were being thrown at us. My body was shutting down, only wanting to rest. The quiet of death was overtaking my body.
Hours later, the surgery was a success. My left tube had ruptured due to the pregnancy implanting high up in the horn of my uterus. Who knew it had horns, that little devil itself? A faithful surgical team which my husband insists is some sort of mystical character, who's only job is to save all the parts that are necessary for a future pregnancy.
Weeks later my surgeon would admit they lost my pulse on the table. He attested to my strong beating heart, but I didn't have enough blood to pump. The quietness was death approaching. Our heart couldn't let this process be the end of our journey. We have the strength to carry on now due to the help of 4 awesome units of strangers blood. We are now ready to try everything in our power to not let this latest chapter be our one and only shot at being parents. The healing process continues, our hearts the hardest to mend. The surgery in November was considered a success, however the bleeding continued through 5 more months, 2 more surgeries and countless hormones to correct my bodies time clock. With the help of said hormones they will allow us to leap into this next chapter. My body is officially in menopause. Yippee for that the up coming birthday the big 40. With the assistance of all these hormones my body should be able to still carry a pregnancy. We will need a donor egg to help conceive. I never thought I would wish for my husbands sperm to mingle with another ladies egg, but under science's supervision, we are ready to do this.
The people that love us the most, or tolerate us at best, we need your help. The donor process comes with a mighty price tag. The donor egg could be our only way to produce a desired egg, unless any of you have a magical golden egg laying goose just hanging around? This process has not broken us... well maybe our pocket book, but definitely not our spirit. The bottom line is $17,694. We will need almost half as an un-financed loan. This will cover me and our donors fees throughout this IVF cycle. our doctor has told us this process should start within the next 3 months! Once harvested, the eggs belong to us and the process gets much easier financially with time. The gift of an egg, mixed this Jake's swimmers, to create an embryo with science to then be implanted back into a stitched together uterus, to create a little life. We live in such a weird world and couldn't be happier with the possibilities. We would appreciate your financial support in starting our family.
If you are not able to give a financial donation at this time please consider making a blood donation. This process would not be possible without the generosity of someone else's blood. 4 transfusions have gotten us to this place in life. I’m so happy to be alive. Thank you so very much for the consideration.
With love,
Shantell & Jake Rolfe
Organizer
Shantell Guy-Rolfe
Organizer
Bingham Canyon, UT
