Rebecca's Angels

Hi, this is Ana... I'm the one with the long blonde hair in the picture.. We are now older though...My older brother, Alex (14), is the one being hugged by my deceased mother Rebecca, and the troublemaker in the middle is my younger brother, Nick (9), who is obsessed with soccer. I just turned 13 years old on December 21st, and had to endure my first birthday without my mother waking me up with a camera flash and balloons over my head. She died on November 2nd. She was the best mother you could ever see, she was my life, and my brothers. We are currently living with my friend's family, who have shown such kindness, and generosity the past few months that we have ever seen in our lives. I know what you're wondering where's the dad? Well, unforunately he has been in prison the past ten years with my grandfather. My dad will not get out until 2027. My grandfather 2018. My younger brother has a severe peanut allergy. My older brother has many medical issues such as Asbergers, and had to have a kidney transplant when he was in fifth grade. Also, just so you know that is not a real tattoo on my mother's fore arm.... 
       My mom was my everything, and now she is not here. She was the only person that I knew would always be there for me, everyone else would come, and go but she was the one I could always count on. Since I was younger my dream was to have my family back together but now that dream will never come true. My grandmother died when I was in first grade, I still miss her as well. She died of cancer. My grandfather (her husband) and my father (her son) were not allowed to attend her funeral or my mom's. At least now I know she is no longer alone up in heaven, I just would have rathered it had been me instead of my mom because it would have been a gift to have been my mom's guardian angel. She already was an angel, I just guess it was her time to soar.
         Everybody says they know what it feels like but they don't so I'll create a picture for you... Picture an emptiness inside your heart that will never go away, and some friends that support you and others that pressure you to get caught up. Picture your dad trying to get out but you don't what to hope for nothing, and hardly being able to go into your own house and feel her presence once more. Picture a sadness in your eye that no one can deny, and seeing people walk around the mall with their moms and dads. It's heartbreaking. And seeing a single mom with three children is even worse. Not to mention the fact that people take having their moms and dads around for granted. Picture never seeing your mom and dad. What would you do? If we're the same the answer is cry and want to never let go of either of them. Or just seeing her in your dreams gives you imediate sadness of knowing that you'll never make her laugh ever again or sit in her lap while she has her feet on the kitchen counter watching Wheel Of Fortune and Jeapordy, and just gasp in the fact of how amazingly smart she is and talk about how someday you're both going to do the mom and daughter day on Wheel Of Fortune. Also, how someday we're going to win the powerball and remain living in our big house instead of moving somewhere else. Or just talking about the possibilities of moving somewhere new and starting over; which I no longer am able to do because I have no choice but to stay in my school district. It just doesn't feel right not being able to see her when you wake up every morning and talking to her when you both can't sleep.
        Also, the feeling that it's your fault because you were having fun at a sleepover when it happened which wasn't supposed to happen but you coaxed your mom into saying yes. Not to mention the fact that you were one of the last people told, and had to deal with the fact that your brothers found her. Not you with them. My mom was too young she died at forty-nine. Her birthday was September seventeenth. And suddenly everyone who denied your mom with helping her suddenly help you and people you didn't want to coming to the funeral. And all the hugs that never end and all the "I understand my mom died a couple years ago." Yeah but you were thirty years older than me and got to hear all her life stories even the inappropriate ones that she says she'll tell you when you're older. Not to mention all the stress you are under from everyone including what's left of your family. But my mom could hold every weight on her shoulders but I can't hold nearly as much.
      She was my hero and now I'll never she her real smile ever again like the one time she did a cartwheel and landed it but fell on her butt laughing and said, "I hadn't done a cartwheel in years." and then does a split right in front of your eyes. That's the moment when you say, " OH MY GOD THAT WAS MY MOM!" She was my home, and now I'll never have as much of a feeling of safety, kindness, tranquility, love, faith, hope, and most of all fully and utterly complete. She was so funny, and so beautiful even though you would never get her to admit it! 
      The money we raise will be going towards getting a vehicle so we can all go into the same car incase of an emergency because of Alex's medical issues and Nick's peanut allergy. Also, the money we raise will be used to buy items that are necessary to our health such as food, clothes, and hygienal products......
     My parents aren't here to provide for us so we could use some help and support! Honestly, it would really help us but all I truly care about is that this women is recognized as the hero she truly was and forever will be. #rebecca'sangels