To you, my friends who have known me most of my life as Coat Cooke and to those who don’t yet, my legal name is now Nikita (Nikki) Antonia Carter. I have recently fully come out to the world as a trans woman. It’s been the culmination of a long emotional and subterranean process. I’m on a tremendously difficult and exhilarating journey. I’ve lost close friends, alienated colleagues and at times feel frightened and confused where to go from here. However, I do have clarity about a number of things.
I’ve decided to get breast augmentation surgery. Just putting it out there makes me shake. Essentially, I am a private and shy person. This is a life-changing step and to expose this so publicly is more difficult than I know how to express in writing here.
To ask for help through this crowd-funding site puts me in a vulnerable position. The cost of surgery is $10,000 and the rewarding life I’ve led as a man and musician has always been financially challenging. I don’t regret it but I’m now 64 and life is short.
A serious car accident four years ago put an end to my lifelong involvement with music. Playing, composing and teaching have been the compass of my life. Its disruption forced me to go under the armour I’d maintained and admit I’d felt out of balance since I was young but didn’t understand why. Realizing this was both overwhelming and liberating. The trauma of these past four years has given me the insight and courage to make the change in order to live as fully and as meaningfully as I’m able to.
My surgery is scheduled for August 25, 2017 so this is a very short timeline. I procrastinated a long time as I was very fearful about going public like this and asking for support.
I hope you might consider supporting me on my journey.