Photographer Needs Help After Financial Loss Of Consequence

I'm a photographer - Pam Owens. I'm a photographer because until I practiced the medium - a medium in which I could express myself - I was 100 pounds heavier and disconnected. I'm a photographer because over the years I've come to discover the medium can help others express themselves as well.

I found photography, by accident, in college as an elective. After college, I landed an audio/visual internship with Blue Cross/Blue Shield and slowly started gaining experience. Eventually I decided to go to graduate school - School of Visual Arts (SVA) to balance my commercial experience with more artistic exposure.

My time at SVA - a two year program - was personally invaluable. My time at SVA was paid with student loans, so...a few months after graduating my loans came due.

Q: How do I pay my student loans AND continue working as a photographer?

A: For the most part, I shoot weddings and events for studios in New Jersey; I've been shooting in this manner for over 10 years.

I registered my business name, Pam Owens Photography, not long after I started shooting for other studios, but I've never been in a position to properly launch - website, marketing materials, forms, etc. - because of financial constraints. In April 2024, though, (after filing a considerable amount of paperwork) a "managerial refund" on my student loans for a little over $14,000 was approved by my loan servicer (confirmed via email). I immediately knew the check presented - AT LAST - an opportunity for me to put the business structures in place - systematize my operations - purchase a mirrorless camera and get comfortable with the new workflow without having to scramble and worry about bills and rent during the winter, off-season months; I would use the refund check to launch my photography business.

The email from my loan servicer stated I would receive the check in 10-14 weeks - at the start of the summer. The check did not arrive.

So instead of moving forward with my plans, I've spent the last few months filing formal complaints with my loan servicer AND the Department of Education. I've taken trains to and from Washington D.C. to visit New Jersey Senators Menendez and Booker's offices as well as the Department of Education's headquarters - in each case, I got no farther than the lobby or locked office doors. I've uploaded documents to the Ombudsman's office, to Senator Booker's office. I've received emails and letters assuring me that my matter is being processed - before and after the election...

Now, I know that for some people just hearing the words student loan forgiveness is troubling. But, I'd like to note that according to my loan "dashboard" (which was strangely updated in January of this year)

1.) for a two year program - after years of compounding interest - I've made a little more than $81,000 in payments. And...

2.) I qualified for loan forgiveness in an income based repayment (IBR) program that was put in place in 2012, not the SAVE program that was recently struck down by the Supreme Court. According to the dashboard, not only did I qualify for loan forgiveness under the IBR program, I qualified 49 PAYMENTS AGO.

After reading this information, I started another round of outreach efforts, but any hope I had was dashed when ALL such forgiveness routes were removed from the Department of Education's website as February ended...And with the payment of my March rent, so were my savings.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

It's not as if I blew all of my money in Atlantic City or went on a spending spree for big-ticket items. I haven't been holding onto a lucky rabbit's foot and praying for positive outcomes. I've been holding onto a series of letters and emails. Like the families who moved across the country because they'd been offered jobs - IN WRITING - only to have those jobs disappear, I was issued a "managerial refund" that was confirmed by email - a receipt in a sense - IN WRITING. Receipts are generally honored, offers made in writing are generally honored, and in more stable times, I believe they would have been honored...But, that's looking backwards and I have to accept the present and face the challenges created by this turn of events.

The first, most pressing concern is my upcoming rent payment. I've been selling old cameras and my record collection, but seeing the results from these efforts inspired me to sit still - think - get over my pride and begin this appeal. Because when I did sit still and think this situation through, it became clear to me that if I don't find a way to replace the lost refund money, this opportunity to properly launch my photography business- after all of these years of planning and waiting - will be lost. Also - more so...

I fear I'll have to put my cameras away permanently because the money I earn shooting for other studios has never provided me with enough "runway" to launch my own business and really isn't even enough to sustain me.

I have all of this experience, though. I work well with people. I've studied business via workshops and podcasts. I even graduated from an entrepreneurial program. I've been fighting for years. I love what I do, and I know what I do brings value to people.

I went to a photographer's funeral - a mentor of mine. Person after person spoke about these "moments" he'd captured. One man walked up to speak with a framed photo he had taken off of his home wall...Now, I go to the movies. I know that wedding & event photographers are generally depicted as ridiculous punchlines. But, I've also run into my couples years after their weddings and have been encouraged to discover they're genuinely happy to see me. They tell me about the photographs they keep on their nightstands, the complete set of proofs they keep next to their beds, the photo of their grandmother laughing and full of joy they cherish even more now that she's gone. And so, before I silently accept this situation and am forced to abandon my career, before I scramble to find a job, I've decided to ask for your help.

The bulk of my wedding and event photographs were shot for studios, so I can't really show them here or anywhere on the internet; it's unfortunate because photography is visual. I thought it would, then, be prudent to try to reach out to former brides, grooms & families - people who are familiar with my work and perhaps will more readily see my worth. I'll reach out to people who know me as a person but I also hope that others who don't know me at all will relate to me and or my situation and be moved to contribute and share.

WITH YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS I WOULD DO ALL THAT I'D PLANNED TO DO THIS WINTER

: purchase a mirrorless camera and flash

: subscribe to a Customer Relations Management (CRM) software

and , IMPORTANTLY, SET IT UP with the templates, invoices and other documents needed to systematize a business

: design and launch a website

: put marketing materials in place

: pay my rent for a couple of months without having to eat can after can of tuna, inventory my loose change and sell, gently used, appliances for cash.

At the end of the Coen Brother's re-make of the movie, True Grit, the main character walks through a graveyard and says, "Time gets away from us." - I've always kind of known about the nature of time. My undergraduate degree is in history and photography concerns itself with trying to frame and stop time. Stop time to try to comprehend what's going on around you - how you live - how others live. Stop time to understand the things we all share - to see that the things we fear and dread make us so different also make us singular and beautiful - if valued and embodied. Stop time because, although it often feels like it's moving slowly - time goes so fast.

I generally stop time with my cameras, but in this instance I need money and help in spreading the word to stop it long enough for me to finally get my footing and properly, publicly launch my photography business.

I thank you.