<div>I'm Hazel. Over the last two years I've worked harder than I ever have in my life to keep our family safe. Unfortunately the world hasn't held up its end of the deal. We're back here again, on the verge of losing our home. I'll share the gory details over a coffee if you ask.
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<div>We will use any money you donate to pay for our housing, bills, and food.
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<div>I'd much prefer to work than to ask for money. I'm an experienced technologist. I'm a hard worker. I've built systems that have made fortunes for my employers and I can do it again. I've been doing this for 14 years, I've seen a lot and I can contribute a great deal to a tech workplace. For the last two years, I've tried to return to doing just that. I'm still trying.
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<div>It's not a matter of whether I'm qualified for the jobs I apply for, because I am. I get interviews. The question is whether out of the hundreds or often thousands of applicants, I'm the one single person they want to hire the <strong>most</strong>. I've been choice number 2 or 3 dozens of times. I know I can do this job and I know I'm good at it. There are a lot of excellent technologists on the market right now, and I'm one of them.
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<div>If I'm so good, why can't I land a job? There are a lot of ways of seeing this situation and many lenses through which to analyse it. Here's one. I'll use my empathy and try to put myself in the shoes of the people making these decisions. Why hire me when you can hire someone simpler, someone who more closely fits what you had in mind, someone who isn't going to make your boss go, "Really? Her?" Do you want to stick your neck out and say, "The disabled queer mother was actually pretty good and we should hire her." In this economy? Nobody wants be seen as making a political statement. It's a lot simpler for everyone involved to keep their heads down and make the normal hire. You're not going to get fired for making the normal hire, even if that person doesn't work out. This is what the end of DEI means in real, concrete terms. This is a systemic problem, and it falls outside my sphere of influence to fix it. I can empathise, and I very much do. I also need to feed my family.
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<div>Most people I know who've survived or succeeded in tech were given a solid foundation for their life by their family, as well as a safety net if and when they needed it. They haven't had to ask publicly because they have the option to handle it in private. The few people I've met who also lacked this advantage learned to become ruthless, throwing people under the bus to get ahead. That's not something I can do. I accepted a long time ago that I'd have to earn my bread, and that's exactly what I've done my whole career. As is true for many queer people, we have zero family support. Both sides of our family have gleefully told us that they look forward to us dying in the street. That's the queer experience nobody wants to hear about. I spent my entire adult life pulling myself away from that fate, choosing my university degree and a responsible career path to build my own stability. Tech was my way out, my way to earn a happy life that I wasn't given from the start. Political circumstances well outside my control have now turned it into quicksand. I made the best choices I could with the information I had at the time. (Do we still believe in blameless retros anymore? Did we ever?)
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<div>I'm a generous friend and colleague. When I've been able to in the past, I've walked through the world with open hands. I've given many people my time, my money, my expertise, my ear, my empathy and compassion, and a place to live when they've needed it. I've asked the same of some of you because we're in a community together.
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<div>My wife and I are devoted parents and we love our son more than anything. We don't want him to be raised by bigots who hate us, who'll teach him to hate us and himself. Our family deserves to take up space. We are members of this community and we deserve to exist in the world. We have so much to contribute. Please let us live.
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Anonymous

Denise Pereira

Katrina McDonnell

Hazel Bachrach

Stefano Perfili

Tulara Webster

Our family deserves to survive

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