Not able to get back to productive life

I have to start an entire new life in Seattle and everything is well . I need just the basic necessities to start life. I have done everything I can with the world ending  so I have a roof over my head and I was able to get a phone through the state but it ends there. Need work atire for a few days and I will have to get the basic life supplies for being human
And if you are not understanding how come I don't suck it up and deal with it I would like to see you be 100% if you have to go through seeing my blood father point a 12 gauge in my mother's face and just hear a ringing in my head and wondering what happened to her face and just reliving her screaming for the next 8 hours of hell and then silence. So I don't ask for anything else just a new chance.
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