Nicole's Mental Health Treatment
HI!
Thank you for stumbling upon my GoFundMe page, I appreciate you taking the time to read my story. Before you read any further, you should know that this story talks about mental illness and suicide.
My name is Nicole and I'm a 1st generation Deaf Canadian living just outside of Toronto, Canada. I am also 1 in 5 Canadians living with mental illness. While I battle several mental illnesses, depression is by far the hardest one that I've had to battle, and it has landed me in the hospital more than once. Those hospital admissions came from multiple suicide attempts. Within the last 5 years I've been admitted to psychiatric units over 12 times, with stays ranging from a week to over a month. I've tried 6 different medications, along with other therapeutic tactics like Individual and Group CBT treatments, Individual and group DBT treatments, different therapists/psychiatrists, Self Compassion workshops, and self-care activities like listening to music (catch me listening to Clean by Taylor Swift on repeat), journaling, and yoga. I am trying to find the joy I once had. Despite doing everything I can, my depression has become treatment resistant, and nothing seems to work. 
Image Description: Nicole in the hospital. She's wearing a green hospital gown, a pink headband, and has an IV.
Recently, I had a very severe suicide attempt that I almost died from. Thankfully my best friend called EMS who was able to get to me in time, and I was able to get the treatment I needed in time. That attempt was a wakeup call and between staying in the ICU (a scary experience) and a psych unit again, I know I needed to be proactive about the future because without proper treatment, it’s likely that this, or worse, will happen again.
Fortunately, medical professionals have been researching and starting medically monitored ketamine treatments at a therapeutic dose to treat depression – the same kind of stubborn depression that I have. The results are promising, with over 70% of cases being a success. Ketamine works to repair some of the damage to the connections in your brain, and I do have some damaged connections, meaning I would hopefully be within that 70% success rate.
But unfortunately, new treatments have their downsides – ketamine treatment is not covered in Ontario by the Ontario Health Insurance Plan, and it costs $4500 for the initial treatment, and at least 2 $750 in booster appointments 3-4 months later. I would have to play for this out of pocket. 
Image Description: Nicole and her friend at a concert. They are wearing gold dresses with the number 13 hung around their neck.
With the pandemic, and the barriers I face as a Deaf Canadian in the midst of this, I have lost school due to inaccessibility, and have been unable to find stable employment that would allow me to pay for a treatment this expensive. I have some money saved, but nowhere near where I need to be. And while I hate asking for help, I need to do that now. I need to ask for help.
100% of the funds donated will be going to ketamine and additional related mental health treatment. This is a treatment that could save my life. And even if you can’t donate, taking the time to read my story or pressing the “share” button means more than you’ll ever know. Thank you so much.
Love you to the moon and Saturn,
Nicole. 
Image Description: Nicole in a forest. She's smiling and wearing a red Swimming Canada t-shirt. 
Image Description: Nicole after a recent hospital discharge. She's wearing Disney ears at her parents trailer, and has blonde curly hair and a white top on.
