NC family needs community support during crisis

To whomever is reading;

first and foremost I’d like to say I’m not usually one to reach out for help. But during this time, myself, my fiancé , and our children are in a heartbreaking circumstance and I’ve found myself not knowing what else to do to find assistance, I’ve called organizations, churches, and other advocates from a long list that I got from my local DSS website. My name is Melody and I am 31 years old. I am disabled due to Depression and PTSD from domestic violence in the past . During this pandemic, i have found myself in a seemingly hopeless situation and that’s why I am writing this. While there is a lot of emergency assistance and funding for those affected Directly BY Covid, ours is not as a result of Covid, but occurred right at the same time. We seem to be in a “gray area” that is absolutely an emergency crisis situation, but there is no funding for particularly this. To obtain emergency funds during Covid, you must provide documents that prove it has affected your income or housing. I lived in a small town named efland in northern North Carolina, rented from family for a very long time. My middle daughter has some health issues and her pediatrician placed her on a restricted diet, as she is 15 pounds overweight. The diet included very limited sugar and sweets as these are empty calories. Being mom, I find it necessary that I enforce what the doctor says for the health of my child. At a cookout I asked that my children not be given excess sweets, particularly ice cream, as we had not had dinner yet and I was limiting her sugar intake. Unfortunately this infuriated her great grandmother, and what happened thereafter has totally torn me apart and displaced me as a result. While I was polite and asked very respectfully that she not be given ice cream before dinner, I was seen as rude, and was accused of “telling grandma how to treat her grandkids”. Throughout this 10 years I’ve found myself at the center of a lot of mental abuse and verbal attacks. I’ve done my best to be as polite and respectful no matter what, to show my children an appropriate way of treating others. Despite this, I have been treated as the outcast. I’ve experienced this many times in 10 years and it has worn on me, and effected my mental health tremendously as I thought I had a family who loved me although I was not blood. I was incorrect. I had nowhere to go, and nowhere stable to take our children. As heartbreaking as it is, i have placed my children in the care of his mother while we figure everything out. To have taken them with us would’ve been inappropriate and selfish.  I am living in a do shelter at the moment and  I’ll attach pictures at the end so you can see what I mean. We have to pay 14 dollars a day to shower at a truck stop in our town. That’s almost 400 dollars a month. I am on a fixed income due to my mental health disability. It’s very little. I have to pay over 400 dollars a month to a finance company which is a large part of my income, due to a 28% interest loan because of lack of credit, it was the worst mistake we ever made as we didn’t foresee this coming. I take a lot of mental health medication, some which is covered by Medicaid and some I am responsible for. I have been in Physical Therapy for 5 months due to the accident, I have mental health visits 2 times a Week for my care plan, and I am required to drive 45 minutes each way, every day, to go to a methadone clinic to get my medication every day. I have been clean from addiction for 3 years by the grace of god, and thanks to the methadone, and despite these circumstances I still am clean. We have always been self sufficient and never asked for help, but now I have no choice but to bare my truth and beg for some kind of relief. I have called everyone I was referred to, I’ve called 211 United way, I’ve called shelters, I go to food banks every couple of days to get a little food for us to eat. We pick up our children each weekend to take them to the park and to eat lunch if we can afford it, if we are too tight I try my best to whip up whatever I can. As humiliated as I am, on September 6th 3 days before we had to move, I had a mental breakdown. I felt defeated by this, empty, and like I was useless to everyone especially my family. I was hospitalized for 9 days in old vineyard in Winston Salem. My fiancé involuntarily commited me, because this wasn’t a cry for help. I didn’t want to be alive anymore. I felt as though every bit of good I had done and changed my life, meant nothing. I felt like I was back in my addiction and suffering the circumstances all over again; homelessness, hungry, lack of resources to support anyone even my children. I was standing on a bridge, and I wanted to jump. I just stared over it and watched the cars go by and just cried, hard and deep. I didn’t know why I was going through this, I didn’t deserve it. I since then have come back out, am mentally ok and am carrying on the best way I can with what we have. We are still in the van. Still without water and actual electricIt’s (my fiancé’s friend allowed us to run a cable from his home to our van to at least watch our tv at night and we have been paying him for that each week also and for letting us stay on the land) and still unsure of where we will end up and what to do about finding stability once again for the wellness of our babies. To put it honestly we have no support system which is crucial in crisis. All we have is ourselves and our children, whom we would never allow them to know what is really happening. They think we are camping and that’s to protect their minds and their hearts. Children need not ever be burdened by adult issues, as Dr.Phil says. An advocate with Medicaid suggested I make this page, since my hospitalization and upon hearing my story she calls me weekly to check on me. Her name is Ms. Dana and she is such a kind woman. If you can find it in your heart to help us, I’d be forever grateful. We are the kind of folks who would help anyone in need. But now we can barely help ourselves. I’m so sorry this was so long, I keep so much bottled inside. I see a therapist frequently, but the severity of all of this rings in my head constantly. Thanks for reading and if nothing ya, please keep my family in your mind and prayers, if that’s your kind of thing. 

Melody C. 

[email redacted]


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Melody Clore 
Burlington, NC
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