Naketia's Tumor

You can't tell what someone is going through just by taking a glimpse at them... About 7 months ago, I noticed my eyes were always blurry. I've never had problems with my vision or even wore glasses. As time passed by, the problem became worse.  Now my vision was doubled and hard to focus. So the only way for me to see normal, I would close one eye. How far can you commute with one eye? This was my daily routine. This made things extremely difficult. Not only did I have responsibility for myself, but I have three children depending on their mother. My vision continued to worsen and I went to the eye doctor and had an exam done. Only to be told that I had a slight astigmatism.  My vision wasn't getting any better so I scheduled an appointment with a specialist. The specialist called me with my MRI date for Aug 23rd. It just happen to be my birthday. Right after I left the doctor's office, I received a call that my sister has been lifeflighted to the hospital. Little to my knowledge she had been suffering from the same condition that I am faced with. I had met with my doctor and he gave me the results of the MRI. He let me know there was a tumor in the middle of my forehead about 2 1/2 cm back. It wasn't on the brain but it is worsening. Medicine is not the route that we would take care of this. They continued to recommend that I have surgery. Now I'm dealing with what I have going on within myself, and currently in the hospital with my sister. Surgery or no surgery? 3 days later she passed. I couldn't bare to not live without my babies. Surgery it is. I just have to have faith. My appointment was two days after her passing. Surgery was scheduled a week after her burial. It was so much going on, I couldn't focus. All of the stress wasn't helping my eyes either. Little did I know how much this tumor effected my every day actions with my emotions I was falling apart. I had to be strong for my children. I was angry. I was mad. I was sad. I was forgetting things. I was afraid. Boy was I afraid! My biggest fear became driving. It didnt matter if it was day or night. In the day time, there were too much going on to focus on one thing. Of course at night, you can't see with one eye to get anywhere. I had a large support system . My dad instilled in me the devil is fear. Release the fear. I continued to say this over and over in preOP.  I could tell God was releasing this fear from me and my faith was growing. My siblings always gave me encouraging words and support and loved me throughout this trying time. My friends and family was right there with me. My man has been right by my side through this all. Even my little 3 year old said mama it's going to be ok. Lying on the operating table, I'm thinking of a million things. Mainly missing my sister and my little family. Im not as nervous anymore. I have faith God is in the operating room along with my sister looking down on me. I know she was right there with me and I would be alright. After I woke up, I thank God that I was alive. And I just embraced my family. On discharge day, the nurse removed my head scarf. This was so emotional for me to see the results. Of course I cried but quickly held it together because my son started to cry. I said baby, mommy is not sad. I am happy. I am happy to be here. I am blessed to be alive. It's ok to cry. Crying is a form of strength. 

We as women put so much on our plates, that we dont give ourselves the proper attention that we should. You have to stay current on your checkups. Be aware of the signs. Do not ignore them. You could be battling the same battle.