I've been a professional singer songwriter since I was a teenager.   2 years ago I noticed that it was becoming difficult to speak and sing .   If I tried to project harder it would feel like The words were bing choked off and strangled.   I would become out of breath and feel like if I tried to push the words out I may pass out.   I went to an ear nose throat doctor and voice pathologist who diagnosed me with spasmodic dysphonia. It is a condition that causes the vocal cords to spasm and slam together un naturally.   This is a rare condition, and not much is know about it.   They believe that it may be neurological in nature but I'm not sure about this theory. Botox injected into the vocal cords is the "gold standard" procedure for this.   I was very frustrated and against my better judgement I had the injection in the beginning. This was very traumatic in itself as they inject a very long needle into your throat and into your vocal cords.   It left me sounding like Mickey Mouse for a month and when the side effects wore off,   it left me with a bad voice again.
A neurologist told me it would probably get worse with time, "a terrible thing for any doctor to say".
I started on a holistic healing approach. I ate an anti inflammatory diet, tried months of chiropractic, reiki, inner child work, t3 therapy, pranic healing, meditation, yoga, breathing and vocal excercises.... you name it.     My voice has improved enough for me to sing harmonies, however I haven't been able to sing lead on any songs.    It has been frustrating and heart breaking.    Singing has always been my biggest passion and my greatest release.    Writing songs is my life's work.   It's been like losing a best friend.   I've gone through great mourning and haven't wanted to tell anyone because I didn't want to feel like a victim.
There is a surgery in the United States that consists of cutting the nerves to the vocal cords, re grafting new nerves, and hoping they heal correctly and start working.   In all of the research I've done this surgery more times than most is NOT a success.    Even if the person can speak, more times than not, they cannot sing. This is not an option for me.
That being said,
I recently discovered a surgery in Japan that is non invasive, done under local anesthesia, and has a quick recovery time. The doctors who invented this procedure are truly incredible, talented, and very smart.    It is permanent, however if you are not satisfied with the vocal outcome, it can easily be reversed.    There has been great success with this surgery in recovering people's voices.    It is unfortunate that this incredible procedure is not available in the states.
I am trying to raise the money to have this surgery asap, and am hoping that my very compassionate and talented doctor will come with me and learn the surgical technique, so that he can help people here with this dibilitating condition.
Since  this has happened, I've met some  truly resilient, amazing people, some who have struggled with spasmodic dysphonia for 20 or 30 years.   I hear the same from most of them "what would my life have been like if I wouldn't have lost my voice".  This has inspired me to take action.    I am a true believer in the body's ability to heal itself.   I also believe in following the guidance of my inner voice.    As much as I would love to get to the root cause of this condition,   I can only do what I can with the information that is available.  
I believe in quality of life, and awareness.    Not awareness of struggle, but healing.     
Before this happened I was about to release a debut album with my now husband, as Hummingbird Hotel. Our duo.    We released two singles and recorded vocals on almost the whole album, with the exception of a few songs. Luckily he is an incredible singer and has taken lead on many of our tunes. This has also allowed me the platform to still perform live. He is truly a blessing . I am excited to get my voice back so that we can finish and release our album. Thank you so much for your loving support.
❤️