Let me tell you about that first trimester! Morning/all day/all night sickness. It kicked me on my butt. I had to take time off of work. Each visit was $300 that my insurance was not covering. I was asked to pay some sort of amount before leaving the doctors office each time. Fast forward to July 4th. I find out I'm having a babygirl! We already had a name picked out, Cymber Twyla Pate.
I would recieve emails from my OBGYN that another facility will be reaching out to me to make an appointment. It was what she called a "level two ultrasound""To take a closer look at baby.". I thought this was normal. This was my first pregnancy. I got a call from a them and arranged an appointment, but they told me payment is up front and $1000. I was also reccomend a specialist since I had Thrombocytopenia. That doctor was $800. After a couple cancelations in July. The beginning of August I had major chest pain. I was crying because of the pain all night. My husband finally told me we need to go to the ER. They did every ultrasound available. Liver, kidney, baby. She, may I add, was kicking me more than I've ever felt her kick before. It was reassuring. Doctors said she was completely fine and after a few hours and some fluids I was okay to go home. That was $8000 alone. Luckily my insurance covered a large portion and I only owe $2000. But a couple days later I stopped feeling her. No movement after work like usual. No random punch after I ate her favorite (fruits and veggies). I was worried. I finally made the appointment for the specialist and she asked me to get blood work. I set that appointment. She was not worried about my concern with not feeling her move. Then I made the "level two ultrasound" at Banner Desert Medical Center. I'm alone since my husband can't be in there with me. I'm excited. After the entire month of August I was going to see my babygirl. I can finally see her wiggle even though she might be hiding from me. I lay down on the bed. Cold gel on my belly. Then I see her. Her back. Her; who is normally jumping every ultrasound. She's just still. The nurse listens for a heartbeat. Nothing. She tries again. Nothing. She asks to leave the room.
The OBGYN came in with two nurses saying there was no heartbeat and asked if I knew why I was there. I stated no. "Nobody has told me anything. Just to make these appointments." He said she had cardiomyopothy. She was measuring at 18 weeks. I was 25 weeks. I felt her and saw her move at the ER at 21 weeks. He wasn't sure why that was, but she was passed. It was memorial day weekend. September 4th. I was induced 3pm, 6pm, 9pm and by 3:21am on September 5th. She was born. The doctor said her cord was tightly wrapped around her neck. She ruled that the cause of death. We stayed with her saying our hellos and goodbye. Sending her our love and giving her hand kisses. I was discharged that evening. We cremated her and had her memorial September 30th.
I'm making this because the doctors should have told me there was a concern. Anything. I wasn't told of any concerns in the slightest. So I pushed appointments back that were crucial. Which lead to the passing of my babygirl. She had such a character. I can only think every moment of the day what could have been. I was charged by the hospital like any normal birth in the US. $20k. My insurance kicked in and I'm only paying $3k. I cannot keep living knowing I should have my big ol baby bump now. I should be preparing for her arrival. Where when I make that final push I hear a cry. Her cry. Not mine. Therefore my husband and I have started trying again. Baby #2! Its too early to tell, but I'mterrified of these bills. Just for it to double with another. A friend reccomended a Go fund me. So here I am. Asking for any help. Pocket change. I'd be extremely grateful for anything.
If you've made it this far in my story thank you for taking time to listen. I hope you have an amazing holiday season
- Mellissa OBannon
- Mettayo Sevig
- Kari Davis
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