Heartbreaking Loss & A Daughter’s Devotion To Mom
Hello friends, and thank you so, so much in advance. I never thought I’d find myself setting up a GoFundMe account, but here I am. Those of you that know me well, are aware of my years of struggles taking care of my mom, and my determination to keep her at home with me throughout all of her medical setbacks. This and the recent heartbreaking loss of of my beloved cat, Max and the affect it has had on me, both emotionally and financially. For those of you who do not know us, here is our story.
MOM
In the 15 years since my father’s passing, she’s endured so much...a stroke, breast cancer, nearly dying from a diabetic coma, seizures, a heart arrhythmia, congestive heart failure, advanced kidney disease and most recently (Dec 2019) a broken hip and pneumonia. All this while struggling with severe cognitive decline due to dementia. As difficult as it has been, it’s always been my hope to keep her safe at home, rather than in a nursing facility. She’s 90 years young and still such a fighter.
LOSING MAX, aka, MY BUBBA
Mine and Max’s journey is a loving one and bittersweet. He was taken in as a rescue 5 years years ago and became such an important part of my life. You might say he served as my emotional support animal, throughout my ongoing caregiver duties. He, too, has had many struggles along the way. Not long after being blessed with him, he was attacked by a coyote and survived… That’s when my financial struggles began, as the veterinary bills began to mount. Not having any pets since I was a child I didn’t realize I could get insurance. I paid the approx $10,000 medical bill and charged up all my credit cards for all of the various ultrasounds and x-rays, surgery and everything involved with his recovery. Fast forward three years later, and now another battle was a upon us. He suddenly became very ill, and again all the blood tests to be done and screening, biopsies, etc. Max had small cell G.I. lymphoma. Easily treated, the vet says however any diagnosis of cancer leaves you frightened and worried. Max has been such a fighter so I took it in stride. After two years of expensive cancer treatments, he has turned around and appeared to be in remission. The cancer medication and other treatments i.e. holistic ones I tried, ran about $600 a month over those two years, and insurance is not an option now due to his pre-existing condition. His next hurdle was being attacked by the neighbors cat! It caused so much damage that it appeared he was attacked by a coyote again. It was awful...His skin had become so thin and fragile from all of the steroid use as part of his cancer treatment. Again another $4000 ER bill. After healing, and 10 months later, he started to become ill again in August 2019. He had to be hospitalized for four days. Many more tests and biopsies, revealed that he appeared to have feline leukemia. Cancer cells are now showing in his liver and spleen in addition to that he has pancreatitis. After about another $9000 hospital stay, ( I know ), it was recommended I take him to see an Oncologist and see what, if any, other options are available. We’ve come this far... I was not going to give up on him now. I couldn’t.
JOURNEY ON...
Still cautiously optimistic, we began a more aggressive cancer treatment plan, coupled with the holistic regimen I had already been giving him. Blood tests taken prior to each treatment showed improvement! The Oncologist was thrilled each time we came in, applauding my efforts because he appeared to look really well. Three months in, Max was suddenly appearing weak and out of sorts one night and then he just fell over and collapsed. I rushed him to the hospital in the middle of the night, scared out of my mind, even getting pulled over for speeding along the way. His glucose had dropped to 10, so his body was shutting down! How can this be?? He was improving! They stabilized him, and until tests came back, treated him for an infection. After a couple of days he was not improving and I had to make the gut wrenching decision to put him down. I struggled with this… I kept thinking what ELSE could I have done? The doctors reassured me that I did everything possible, that I gave him so much love and care, but that did not make the decision any easier. I had given him the feline leukemia vaccine when I first got him, but it’s not always a guarantee. It apparently also takes time to rear its ugly head if the virus is already in his system and can do so in the form of lymphoma. This was likely the case, and unbeknownst to me, his fate was sealed from the start.
SAYING GOODBYE, AND THE AFTERMATH
I miss him every day...You hear people use variations of the phrase “Who rescued who?” That expression is what best describes what Max has meant to me. Being a caregiver to my mom all these years is rewarding, but it’s also heart breaking, and at times emotionally and financially draining. He provided that unconditional love that helped hold me together during the most stressful times. I’ve always been too proud to ask for help. This is extremely difficult for me to do, but I am at a point where I feel I am running out of options to turn things around. Credit cards are maxed, loans have been taken out, savings is depleted and my mother‘s health continues to deteriorate. As of late, Christmas was spent in the hospital with her and she is now home with hospice care. With the added care that she will need that hospice cannot provide, hiring a full time caregiver is not financially an option at this time. I have also had to take time off of work for my own medical issues, so I am more overwhelmed than ever. The last five years have really tested my strength and my faith. I’m hoping that in this effort to appeal to the hearts of friends and strangers, that it may restore that faith and give me hope.
FUNDS DONATED
These will be used for paying off the debt accrued by Max’s medical bills, which will in turn allow me to hire and pay a full-time caregiver for my mom.
Thank you for taking the time... -Annie
