LOST MOM, NOW I HAVE CANCER

This isn't easy for me. I woudn't be here if it was. I have had enough and I have faith that all of you will answer my prayers. Even a prayer itself will help, and it would be much, much appreciated if you could pray for me.

So here it goes. I'm 27 years old. I lost my mother to cancer in 2015. Her year of battling cancer broke me. I had a good job, I was paying off my college loans, and I had great aspirations. I wanted to become a handy-man, to build a garage full of tools, and to eventually get into a trade that bettered my community.

Suddenly I find myself having crippling panic attacks. I couldn't function at my job like I was so proud to do before. I lost my job. But the silver lining there was that I could be with my mother as a caretaker. She was so chipper and ready to laugh, and we would joke about politics and watch the latest Jimmy Fallon. She loved his "Thank You" Note segment. She was a great inspiration, laughing even though she knew that she was terminal. Often I felt as if I worried enough for the two of us. Then one day she began acting strange and I had to call her in to the emergency room. She died the next day due to a brain hemorrhage.

I lost my mother, my childhood home (two mortgages), and my mind. I was still having panic attacks. I became agorophobic. It was hard to drive to CVS without feeling like I couldn't breathe. 

I went to counseling. My family could only afford to send me once a week. Each time I drove to see my therapist was a battle. I would stare at the street signs, attempting to memorize each intersection I was just at in case I was in an emergency and had to call 911. I continued to fight, to go to see friends, to try and be "normal" even though the entire time I was being tortured by the thumping of my heart and the tightness in my chest. I fought right until I felt the angel's shoulder of a friend who offered me a part-time job connection. Therapy and that job was my revival. After three months I was nearly panic-free. My mind had been reborn.

So, enough about me. I need to mention my goddess, my princess, my muse. With my first paycheck I bought her a ring and proposed. We are set to be married this October. She is my everything, the person who inpires me every day, the meaning behind my life. She gives me purpose. She is a youth worker for an impoverished population. She does God's work in my eyes.

I had my life on track. I had a better job. I am about to get married to the woman of my dreams.

And suddenly I got into a wreck with the company truck.

It wasn't a bad wreck. I shrugged it off. Fast forward two days later, though, and I'm having very sharp pains in my stomach. I go to the hospital. They take a CT scan and ran some tests. Next thing I know I'm being told that I have type B ( High Grade ) non-hodgkins lymphoma. I won't be able to work because my immune system will be continually compromised.

A flu could kill me. I'm being forced inside yet again.

I have been diagnosed with cancer less than 2 years after my mom passed away from cancer.

I cannot believe it... I.. I tried so hard to recover from my panic attacks. I'm set to be married. I have so much to live for. I can't support us anymore. Now I'll have hundreds of thousands in medical debt stacked onto my existing debt. We won't be able to afford our wedding we were saving for, not to mention our honeymoon.

I'm ready for another fight, but I need your help. I'm determined to see the happiest day of my life with the woman I have loved for over 8 years! I'm going to get better so I can become that Apprentice Plumber I've been trying to get into for years! Help me beat this!

Anything helps. $5. We will need to pay for bills and our wedding. Hopefully I can find a stay-at-home job so I don't risk going out and becoming ill.

Thank you, bless you.