Limited Time

I was diagnosed with stage 2 Melanoma in 2009. I had surgery and really thought we’d caught it early, in time. I knew nothing about Melanoma when I was diagnosed. But I trusted my doctor and did everything he told me to do. I ran blindly, with very little information and trusted him completely, which was a huge mistake.  In the summer of 2014 I really started to feel awful! I was extremely tired. No amount of sleep would make me feel rested. So I went and saw my GP and asked her “what was wrong with me”? We talked about my health history, including the cancer. She took a bunch of blood and told me she was going to refer me to an Oncologist to be on the safe side........the safe side? Um, that doesn’t sound very safe to me.

So a few weeks later, off I went to meet Dr.Dang. The sweetest man I think I’ve ever met. He took my history and ordered a pet scan. A few weeks later his office called with the results from my blood tests and the pet scan. Again, blindly I went to the doctor. And then I got the results. Like a hammer to the head. A 5 cm tumor in my left axillary (arm pit) BAM. There it was. That’s the day everything changed. For the last 3 1/2 years I’ve fought for my life. With surgeries, immunotherapy drugs, chemotheropy infusion. The immunotherapy almost killed me but didn’t do much to prolong the cancers savage onslaught on my body. I have tumors everywhere. They’ve started to erupt through my skin. I can see the lumps pushing through. The pain is almost unbearable. Melanoma has changed me! I’m a completely different person then the girl from a few years ago. I’m tired but I’m fighting. I don’t know why this happened to me, my family and friends. And trust me, it happens to everyone in my life that cares about me. That’s really the hardest part for me. Past the financial burden, which is almost unbearable some days. It’s watching the people in my life in pain because of me.  So at 42, I thought I’d have tons of time to do and see all the amazing things our country has to show us. But it doesn’t look like that’s in the cards for me. My last wish is that have some fantasticly wonderful memories for my family to have together. I hate to say it but along with my health, cancer has taken every penny we had saved. Medical bills and medicine is a painful hardship that we carry. I’m lucky to have insurance but still pay over $500 per month in copayments. Unfortunately the year has begun again so everything starts over. Meaning my % is starting anew. So my copays are maxed out.  So there it is. I’m asking strangers to help fund me. My children  are  my hearts happiness and the greatest joy I’ve ever known.  And my husband.......there simply isn’t a better man. 

As long as I’m being completely truthful here. I want to not burden my husband with having to pay for my funeral expenses. It terrifies me thinking about how everything will be paid for when I’m gone. You just never think you need funeral arrangements at 42. Or at least I never did. I would love to have it taken care of before I die. 

Thanks so much for your time. XOXOXOXO to all!!