I have a full breakdown of questions you might have over at my website if you would like to know even more details!
So, who am I? My name is Korah Alexander, and I am a transgender woman currently living in North Carolina. I am a daughter, a sister, a dreamer, a writer, and artist. I like to cook, to share stories, and laugh with those closest to me. Since I was a small child, I knew that I was different, my body didn’t match who I was inside and for a long time, none of that made any sense. For most of my life, I tried to hide that part of myself, walling it away, and trying desperately not to let it be seen. It was a struggle that lasted for more than thirty years, one I only narrowly escaped from. In 2017 I finally learned to accept who I was and began to live full time as Korah, no longer ashamed of who I have always been.
My journey hasn't been the easiest of roads, but every tear, every broken relationship, and every drop of sweat I shed during my coming out has been worth it. My gender confirmation surgery in May is the next step in my journey. There are many reasons why I want to change this specific part of my anatomy, but the most important reason is to help my self-confidence. To be frank, this part of my anatomy makes me feel unattractive, I am reminded that I am not a “normal” woman every morning when I get dressed, every time I go to the bathroom, and every night when I go to bed. I have chosen to stay single because dating or being intimate with anyone with this thing attached is an anxious and painful thought. Because of this part of my anatomy, I feel less than other women, because it makes me different. It is a difference that I do not welcome, something that divides and separates me from other women, no matter how much they accept and love me. Surgery will eliminate some of these barriers and will help me to lead a more fulfilled and productive life, free of these and other worries.
One of my earliest memories related to being transgender was overhearing a group of boys giggling on the playground about a “sex change.” I knew immediately that I wanted to have whatever a “sex change” was. That was twenty-nine years ago when I was in the fourth grade. I never thought that one day I would have the opportunity to achieve that dream. Yet I must state that this is a fix for a very specific problem, and not a miracle cure for the hardships of life. I will still need to grapple with the other parts of me that were forever changed by testosterone that cannot be fixed with modern medicine. I will still have to assert my womanhood to those who refuse to believe I am who I say I am. This surgery will not repair the bonds that were broken, nor will it mend a lonely heart. It is but the next step in a very long journey to be true to myself, the goal I have been aiming for all this time. After this surgery, I will look in the mirror, and the reflection staring back will finally match who I have always been. That opportunity, that chance, is one I must take no matter the cost. Will you help me get there?
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