A mother's war against cancer

My war against cancer.

I decided to add the picture of Harley the day I brought her home from thr hospital. She was still only 35 weeks and had just had a blood transfusion. She was born 10 week premautre and weighed 3.5 lbs. Funny cause thats what I just lost in the last few days. I have had many days that I wake up and am in a full on panice attack. If my 3.5 oz baby can speed 5 weeks in nicu and the nurses called her the happy fat premi. If the could go through all she went through... then I can do this, and I can be whole again. Harley has seen me at my most scared paniced moments. Yet she is right there holding my hand. She is my rock.

My name is Rebecca and I am a mother of three amazing daughter's. I was born on the 4th of July and am very independent and stubborn, so this is very dificult for me.

On October 11, 2014 I was diagnosed with rectal cancer. I was told it is stage 4 because the tumor has invaded the back of my vaginal wall. I was told my only option was to have everything below the belt removed and have a colostomy bag the rest of my life. No way is what i said. How am I going to deal with not only a colostomy bag but having part of my vagina removed! what kind of life would that be, I still can't wrap my head around any of it. We always hear " why do bad things happen to good people"? well I'm not that great of a person, I have an opinoin and a big mouth... but, I am one of the healthiest person I know. Always have been and raised my children with a very healthy way of thinking and living.... the eat beats and brussel sprout, you can see their pretty serious. So I'm pretty pissed off of all the cancer's why this one.

My propblem now is that I had been working seasonal jobs and my plan was to go right to work for the winter ski season. Well that isn't going to happen. At this point I have had a port set in place under my skin for my chemotherapy. I had my first dose that lasted for 4 days via a portable pack I take with me. I was told make sure to start taking anti nauses meds asap, well i went right from chemo to radiation and by the time I took meds it was too late and I threw up meds and couldn't keep anything down. So back to the hospital again. While there The ER doctor noticed I had and abscess, which I had been saying I thought I had something eles going on. Anyway after antibiotics and another blood trsndfusion (i'm anemic as well) I was able to go home. Home, thats the problem. My daughter and I are living in hotels and extenda stays, some that look like crime scenes. I've been looking for an apartment close to the hospital where I recieve my radiation Monday - Friday. Right now I'm at visit 17 out of 30. My next chemo starts on the 8th of this month. As for the plan after radiation and this next dose of chemo I have not been told whats next. Acept that I may need a temporary colostomy to give the vagianla wall time to heal. So that means a hospital stay for I'm not sure how long.

I am at the end of my savings and my mother flew from Alaska to stay with me, as I can't drive and at times need to use a wheelchair. My mom is the mother of five, and each one of us have had some kind of emergancy and she has come to our rescue with in hours. She has spent most of her life taking care of her kids, I'm second to the youngest and I'm 47. Her income is just enough to suport herself so while she is here with me she has also not only not been able to earn an income, she has also used her savings. I am asking for help not only for myself but for my mother as well. I am also asking to help her maintain her expesnses while she is her with me. Also I would love to surprise her with a spa day( she has never done that in her life & shes 76) and maybe a new outfit and hair cut to make her feel better about herself and be able to take a much needed break from caring for my daughter and I.

I have found a few apartments that are close to the hospital and that are very reasonable. My need is that I need help with the move in cost and help with monthly rent and utilities for maybe the next 6 to 12 months.  I will also need help with moving my belonging from storage into the apartment. I will also need help with my 12 year old getting extra help with school. she is home schooled so she has acsess to her classes 24/7 but with all that has been going on she has fallen behind and the fact we keep having to move from hotel to hotel has made her little world a nightmare. But she has been by my side every step of the way and is so mature and brave it breaks my heart that she has to watch her mom go through this.

Right now we are at a hotel until the 6th of this month. I need help getting into an apartment instead of spending what I have left on hotels. So if you can help us out that would be so amazing and I would for ever be thankful for your kindness to a complete stranger. Bless you, be well and no matter what age you are go and get a colonoscopy right now, and I mean it :}



Thank you so much,

Rebecca