I’m Jexekah - I’m 35 years old and I’m transgender. I came out as trans when I turned 30, after realising I had spent a third of my life forcing myself to identify as male - making myself miserable, depressed and bitter. I realised I couldn’t live as my authentic self if I carried on that way, and that I would die having spent my life pretending to be who I’m not.
As part of my transition I am with Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (GIC) for hormone therapy. I have the option available to me for lower surgery, but herein lies the problem: I have one shot at lower surgery. I have looked into this thoroughly and realised that what is on offer would not make me happy, or able to live a life free of regret.
Ideally I want to have a type of surgery called Peritoneal Pullthrough Vaginoplasty (PPV). This would create something that resembles a natal vagina more closely that the options available to me.
Earlier in life I had to go through a circumcision. This likely would mean that if I had the standard penile inversion technique, I would have a depth of only 3-4 inches - as opposed to the average of 6 inches that most could expect. The only other option via the NHS is the usage of part of the colon, understandably this is not an option I’m keen on - for reasons I’m sure we can all guess (it often results in a peculiar smell... Very unpleasant!)
Given my options, and with the current uncertainties of surgeries deemed by the NHS as “non-critical” (many of us transgender folk would agree lower surgery IS critical) due to the coronavirus, I feel my only real option is to have PPV surgery privately.
Unfortunately this option has a huge problem: I cannot afford it. I live on Universal Credit, which is woefully inadequate for disabled folk like myself to live on with something resembling a decent life, let alone afford private surgery.
Thus, I am turning to GoFundMe, after a lot of soul searching and discussions with my husband. It’s something that I have honestly feared doing - I really don’t like having to ask for help, especially for something personal... and you can’t really get more personal than a surgery of this kind...
So, I ask humbly: Please, please, would you help me to get a surgery I really need - to be able to have one aspect of my life and person that I can regard as at the very least acceptable, maybe even decent?
I am eternally grateful for anyone reading this, and more so to anyone who donates. You will be making my life so much better.
- Rory Sizer
- Naomi Rowe
- Osh Reilly
Fundraising team: My Cuties (3)
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