Help us get our life back.

Hi, My name is Charlie and I'm 33 years old and I'm from sweden. I have a fiancee and have one son currently living at home who's 4 years old and another son from a earlier relationship. 

I will try telling some backstory to my problems and why I need economical aid. 

I've been suffering from mental illness for the majority part of my life. I'm diagnosed with GAD (Generalized anxiety disorder), ADD (Attention deficit disorder), Agoraphobia,  Avoidant personality disorder, Dysthymia (Mild chronic depression) and SAD (Social anxiety disorder) . 
While I have been trying to work in different lines of work throughout my life I have not had much success. Either I break apart and I fall into a darkness or I've just not been able to cope with everything the workplaces put me through. 

5 years ago my current girlfriend got pregnant and I moved to her because I was out of a job anyway. She lives in another town then I was doing at that point. 

My life kind of took a turn for the worse here because moving from a small town to a big city was not the best thing for my phobias and diagnoses. I shut myself in and everything got worse. The phobias more intense, the depression went deeper and I developed new symptoms. My fiancee have stood by me these five years, and even though I was mostly depressed, and was considering suicide she stayed by my side and did everything. 

She works, she takes care of our son and do absolutely everyhing while I just tried to cope with all the anxiety, depression and everything included. This has been going on since then. 

I've been going to therapy and sessions with a psychiatrist, and doctors have been medicating me and nothing have actually yielded any results. I'm still scared silly of going outside our home, I still have anxiety attacks and I still cry pretty much 2-3 times a day. 



We've been trying to get me on disability checks the last 3½ years but while I've had 5 different doctors all telling the insurance company I will most likely not be able to live a normal life for the rest of my life due to all my diagnoses they've been rejecting me telling me I can still work. 
A insurance employee I've never talked with decided that I can still work, even though 5 doctors are saying I will not be able to. Guess how that feels?

I have had pretty much no income for the last 5 years.

We have been falling into
debt lately because we just can't survive without buying things on credit and increasing a loan. 

After we've payed our bills we have about $100 to survive on for the rest of the month.

We can't even afford buying our son new wintershoes.

This is of course very tolling on both me and my girlfriend and we're both depressed over this. 

I've felt so useless so I've  been considering taking my life, just so that they can get the life insurance and have a better chance at a good life. 
Im desperate, I really do not know what I should do anymore so I'm trying this out. 

Please help us. 

All the money donated to us will go to paying off some of our debts and buying things that our son needs. 

 I really do not like doing this, begging. I feel ashamed and it kind of makes me feel even more worthless then I already do, but I really can't stand seeing the two persons I love most in the world suffer like this. 

If anyone has any questions or want more details or something like that feel free to contact me. 

 Sorry for typos and grammatical errors. 

Thank you, and have a nice one. I hope all of you live long and prospers.