Please help me

I am a 46 year old Mum of 3 beautiful children, 2 with Autism and 1 with Anxiety. I have had a lot of operations since I turned 40, I am going through the early menopause due to having a total hysterectomy. I have had 3 umbilical hernia operations, however due to my weight gain the doctors have said unless I lose a considerable amount of weight they can not repair the umbilical hernia I now have. The hernia is a foot long across my tummy. I can actually feel my food go through my intestines. I have pain on a daily basis from the hernia. I also suffer from Diverticulitis, this is where I suffer from pain in my intestines around every couple of months and end up in hospital having to have IV antibiotics due to myself having an allergy to lots of antibiotics. I also have asthma. My weight gain isn’t from me being a greedy lady. I have dieted over the past 6 years at least 4 times a year, on Cambridge diet, Slimming World, Appetite Suppressors, Slim Fast, each diet costing a considerable amount of money. Within weeks of stopping the diet the weight goes back on as well as more. I suffer with my mental health. Some days I don’t want to be here, which is so sad for my children.  Due to my weight I have become some what recluse. My anxiety is very bad, I won’t go out of the house unless it’s to sit in the car while my daughter needs to go places, she hasn’t passed her driving test yet. My life I feel is on standby. I was on the waiting list for 3 years for Bariatric Surgery, however, due to NHS cuts in Oxfordshire I have had to be referred to Berkshire NHS, in the hope of having Bariatric surgery there. However I am at the bottom of the waiting list.  I want my life back. I want to be able to walk my dog up the road without nearly passing out due to myself not being able to walk 100 yards. I’m unable to fit in an aeroplane seat, I have to have my seat belt doubled. I am frond upon by people who judge me for being fat. I am asking for your help. I need this operation to get my life back. I want to see my children grow up.
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