Stop Mentally Drowning Fund
Donation protected
Most days since last November, I've been waking up short of breath, heart pounding, and with racing thoughts. Up until then I thought I was fine, and that I wasn't doing more than I could handle, but something changed and my mental health has been in a death spiral ever since. Talking myself through that anxiety has become a second job on top of everything I'm doing to help others.
When I'm fine, I'm really fine. I have work to do that I genuinely love and that gives me so much satisfaction, I pay my bills, I've kept a roof over my head and enough food on the table. But my margin for error is so thin now that I don't know how to stop pushing through my anxiety and work long enough to get help, and I don't know how I'll pay for it.
I have to brute force my way through this anxiety every day, and the more extra work it creates for me, the more it interferes with my real work and the more anxious I get. If I can't do something now to get out of this loop, I'm afraid that I will lose my my place to live and lose my work. If I can see a doctor next week and he or she can help me find a way to manage my anxiety, I hope I will have a shot at breaking out of it and doing my work like a normal, non-terrified human being.
All I'm asking and hoping for is a little bit of room to breathe, to get a little help in getting to the point where I'm capable of getting through a normal work day, so I can try to make some actual progress again instead of spending so much of every day trying to dodge and outrun panic.
Anything I receive will go toward paying medical costs out of pocket, since I haven't had health insurance since 2017. Hopefully this will be nothing more complicated than a doctor's visit or two and any medication that might help me start to pull myself out of this, but given the chance I might also get some blood work done to see if there's a chance that there's something chemically off balance that is contributing to this.
Thanks for caring enough to read about what I'm going through and thanks to everybody who's checked up on me the last few days and encouraged me to reach out for help. I really appreciate it.
When I'm fine, I'm really fine. I have work to do that I genuinely love and that gives me so much satisfaction, I pay my bills, I've kept a roof over my head and enough food on the table. But my margin for error is so thin now that I don't know how to stop pushing through my anxiety and work long enough to get help, and I don't know how I'll pay for it.
I have to brute force my way through this anxiety every day, and the more extra work it creates for me, the more it interferes with my real work and the more anxious I get. If I can't do something now to get out of this loop, I'm afraid that I will lose my my place to live and lose my work. If I can see a doctor next week and he or she can help me find a way to manage my anxiety, I hope I will have a shot at breaking out of it and doing my work like a normal, non-terrified human being.
All I'm asking and hoping for is a little bit of room to breathe, to get a little help in getting to the point where I'm capable of getting through a normal work day, so I can try to make some actual progress again instead of spending so much of every day trying to dodge and outrun panic.
Anything I receive will go toward paying medical costs out of pocket, since I haven't had health insurance since 2017. Hopefully this will be nothing more complicated than a doctor's visit or two and any medication that might help me start to pull myself out of this, but given the chance I might also get some blood work done to see if there's a chance that there's something chemically off balance that is contributing to this.
Thanks for caring enough to read about what I'm going through and thanks to everybody who's checked up on me the last few days and encouraged me to reach out for help. I really appreciate it.
Organizer
Joseph Rooks
Organizer
Cedar Grove, NC
