Hi All,

I figured I'd give this a try because it can't hurt, right? Bear with me here:

Gender is so complex, as is the life that molds us into who we become as adults. I’d always been an "other" growing up. I could never blend in or fade into the background, no matter how much I desperately wanted to; just for a day or an hour. I was constantly perceived and defined and so much of that has stuck with me, for better and for worse, true and false.

However, gender identity has been the most unquestionable thing in my life. When so few things made sense to me— about me; the idea of gender analytically clicked. I never wanted to be one of the girls, nor did I want to be one of the guys... I just wanted to exist as I was, and be accepted by whomever would— void of conditions or constructs. I have just always existed as a human, or wanted to.

In the midst of doing personal self-work over the past decade or so, I realized that I live in a body that I don't hate but that I also do not feel connected to. I never really have— which means I also cannot love it, or truly love myself…or allow it/me to be loved by others.

I am trying to get top surgery. The date is 2/28/2025. I am/have been doing this entirely alone: transport/surgery/recovery/payment, while also working. The surgery is minimum $6k out of pocket (w/ insurance), and my savings have been severely depleted after necessary unplanned dental surgery in November. I have committed to paying this off over the course of 10 months and understand 2025 will be a tight year as a result, but I want this more than I've wanted anything before.

I'm looking to raise anything, even $50. I know times are tough for many people now and might stay that way for a while, so I'll also take words of encouragement happily.

Thank you~