Please Help Me Save My Son

A Parent Can Not Use Covid To Deny Access To The Other Parent

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To whom it may concern, thank you for any consideration to assist me to help my son live a happier life that includes his Dad. Thus far I've been representing myself. In the beginning I got pushed over bad by the mother's, lawyer. I started taking some free legal classes at the court to learn how to fill out motions and about my rights. It's frustrating when every legal expert tells you to document and keep a record of what's going on and as soon as you get to court, the judge tells you "No need to talk about the past, let's move forward". What's the point of keeping records if you're not going to acknowledge the actions that's been harming the child.  My child's health is time sensitive and this allows the mother to not fear any consequence for her actions as well as breaching of court order. I can't predict what the Applicant is going to do next in the future. Yet the court tells you that they're child focused, however, not focused on the evidence that you have. I have text, police records, recordings that the mother is aware of, emails and my son's testimony.

Unfortunately the courts frown upon recordings, but what am I suppose to do as a man of color, trying to go up against a mother playing victim and a family lawyer who isn't doing his job to help foster a better communication between the mother and I for the sake of the child. Courts around the world are now using recordings when it come to killings of Black Lives. Why not allow recordings when it comes to the killings of a Father's, especially a Father of color, LOVING reputation. Since I'm not a lawyer nor have a lawyer, I need protection and these recordings are it. The courts, should they decide to listen, can determine if the mother is lying against herself. 

Last year, before she got a lawyer, she put in a motion to take our son on vacation without notice. The Judge made her inform me of her intentions. I felt nervous about her travelling with our son and expressed that I didn't feel she was responsible enough. The judge allowed her to take him. I get it, the judge didn't know me. However, my son comes back from vacation with huge black and blue bruises up under both of his arms from falling out of a window of a boat. The mother tried to hide it from me in hopes that his injuries would heal before I see him on his next visit. She proceed to try to minimize the incident with an explanation that he was checked over by staff, but my son informed me that only her travelling friend looked him over. On the weekends that I have him, no doctor offices are open. Therefore, I wasn't able to take him to see if he had possibly damaged any nerves or have any head injuries.  When advised by a court mediator to allow our son to have more time with me, she went out, the same day, to get our son a puppy, she tells our son it's a family dog, but when our son ask to bring the dog over daddy's, for a visit, he's told no. Then my son asking me why she get to take the puppy over her guy friend's house, who's not family. I was denied to see my son for the whole month of August 2019, both the mother and her father who she lives with would hide the land line phone from my son, at the end of August when I went to the gym that she worked at to see if she had brought our son with her, she tells the cops and court that I'm stalking her. I could care less about her. I had missed and was seriously concern about my baby especially since my son had been hiding in closets or different places around the house just to call me, she used his saved money to buy a PS4 so he couldn't communicate with me on his Xbox (before cross platform was allowed), during Christmas time she has used Elf on the Shelf to tell him he's a bad child and disrespecting his mother for being so demanding to speak to his dad , she has denied me from seeing my son on his birthday 2 years in a row now. during my access time to speak to my son she's texting on the same phone making it harder to hear my son. She complains about me being a few minutes late dropping him off. I have to travel 45 mins to drop him off a block away from her home in a parking lot. The only time I'm late is due to constructions, accidents and or bad weather. Her response...it's not her problem. Her lawyer tells the court that I don't call on time and I don't show any interest to speak to my son. The calls are time stamped, but since the courts just want to move forward, It's impossible for me to show the courts that the lawyer, again is misleading the court. 

The judge we had on Dec 3rd was fair and just that day. However, I feel as if he lacks the understanding of the struggles that people of color have with the court system as well as the mental fear we, as Fathers, have towards the social injustice in court. 

My son's mom is in the fitness industry. Thus far my son, since his mom  and I split up, has gained approximately 90lbs. He just turned 10 and now he weighs 156lbs. At his age he should be weighing 77lbs. My son use to have a very active life with swimming, karate and soccer. Due to my son's rapid weight gain, a lot of health issues has come about. I tried to communicate to the Applicant, but she doesn't want to communicate. My son said he tries to talk to her, but she doesn't take his pain serious. She tries to mask his aches with home remedy stuff. On many occasions, after consulting with telehealth, I had to take him to the ER due to such pain. Her lawyer has tried to mislead the court regarding my intentions. Stating that he only had a cold. However, when the symptoms showed up on the Applicant's watch they try to say that it was Covid like symptoms. They got the blessing with the family doctor's note stating that they will be keeping him till they deem him to be better or till Covid ends. Now our case is being used as an example by many lawyers across North America and is all over the internet pointing out that Covid can NOT be used to deny access to the other parent.

In September, I grew angry and frustrated seeing my son in pain all the time. I read that you have to explain to the doctors the procedures that were done prior so they can possibly provide something else. When I took him to ER the mother wouldn't provide me with an updated copy of health card. The nurse had to contact the ministry of health and provided me with the updated number. During the examination they discovered, via x-ray, that his little bowels were backed up so bad that they had to administer an enema, ultrasound showed that his white blood cell count was up a bit and they prescribe him to take stool softener.  I was told that had we waited longer he could have developed sepsis. Two months later, I have to take him to the ER again for the same reason. This time I was told that not only there is a rise in he white blood cell count again, but his bilirubin has risen as well. The ER Pediatric said that his condition was due to poor nutritional diet, lack of excise and that he need to go to an obese clinic. My son was very sad hearing this and asked if I could help him. He said that he feels helpless because mommy buys all the food. When I tried to call the family doctor's office to get the report of our visits to the ER, for my case, I'm greeted with no cooperation. The office recognized that I have Joint custody. Mind you this family doctor office have been knowing the mother and her family since the birth of all the older siblings. 

We hear parents all the time say that they would die for their child or sacrifice it all for their babies. Well I'm doing that! I will NOT stop fighting for the well being of my son. I'm tired and broken. However, I will not give up. I have a legit reason to be that angry black man.

With the help of your donation, should I overcome such legal obstacles, I plan on trying to help other fathers due to lack of resources.  I was on EI (Employment Insurance), government assistance, at one point and I was told that the laws had recently changed and I get to much from E.I. to get Legal Aid.  Picture a parent's situation being out of work, can't afford legal help and witnessing their baby mentally, physically and emotionally struggle due to the separation of his parents. My son, due to his intellect, is told that he doesn't sound Black by his little friends and being told by his mom that he sound like I, the Father, told him what to say. This stresses him out! He loves talking with me because I except and believe in who he is. I never raise him to speak like a baby. I always have challenged him with learning the meaning of words that he doesn't know. I have to admit, sometimes he say things that throws me off, but I except it with pride and joy that he's still striving to be a better communicator. I still have his little list that we made out when he was 4 years old.

The suicide rate for Fathers feeling boxed out or feeling all odds are against them is seriously HIGH. With all due respect, I haven't heard about any woman committing suicide due to not making the same pay rate as a man. With that said,  if we're going to fight for the rights of women to have equal pay (which we should), then we damn sure better fight for the rights of a Father to be considered, OUT THE GATE, as an equal parent in court (WHICH WE SHOULD). Eventually I just want to help aid parents, both loving Mothers and Fathers. Key word "LOVING". Both parents should leave their egos at the door and avoid allowing their personal feelings from interfering with the love that the child has with the other parent. If not already, maybe that child could have a positive affect on the other parent to be a better person.  Let's face it! When one parent is trying to box out the other, it's truly the child that's made the sacrificial lamb. Our society is suffering because LOVING Fathers are. 

It's so funny and weird. Talking about a Father's importance to a child is almost similar to talking about BLM.  How you may ask? When you bring up the importance of a Father's role in a child's life, there's alway someone to bring up how important a mother is. Likewise when you bring up how BLM you have someone saying ALL LIVES MATTER. 

We're not stating or implying that a mother's role isn't equally important or lives outside of the black communities doesn't matter. On the contrary, we're simply stating the facts that the two lack equal awareness and the resources to promote value to their existence.

 

Each one teach one. Let us all grow together and let us all be that village, virtual or in person to help heal, guide and raise every deserving child.

When you get a chance, please allow me to encourage you to watch these two videos to help you understand, address and bring attention to the cause of the importance of a Father's rights and Parental Alienation:

Marilyn York :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlSwsE22nX0&feature=emb_logo

 

Jennifer Harman:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLD7A081704F6C4D06&v=v3YdldNXZnQ

 

 

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Organizer

Chris Wright 
Organizer
Hamilton, ON
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