Hello, friends and family!
First I want to say thank you for all the emotional support I have received from you all over the past couple years. I have not been very good at keeping in contact, but I hope you can understand it is not intentional.
Now...I am really bad at asking for things, however… I’m out of other options and I’m just so desperate to get my life back. So, I am just going to jump in...
As most of you know, I suffer from mental illnesses and fibromyalgia. While I have not broadcast every aspect of this journey, I am not exactly shy when speaking about it. What most of you DON’T know is the tremendous financial landslide I was buried in as a result. I do not want to go into a “sob-story” by any means, but how can I ask for your help without giving you the courtesy of knowing the journey to this pit I’m in. I have provided a short and sweet version, for those of you who like to get to the point, and an extended version.
Lost my job over a year ago, due to mental illness.
I need a car so I can get a job. Someone offered to let me use their car, but it needs work and to be registered and insured. That’s where you (hopefully!) come in.
Every $5 helps.
Please help me get back to being a contributing member of society.
I have several mental illnesses coursing through my body/brain. Some of this is hereditary and simply could not be avoided; some of this is a result of traumatic childhood events.
I suffered all my life in silence. My earliest memory of “knowing something was wrong” was when I was 5 years old. Not even half a decade on this earth and I already knew my reality, my daily struggle, was different than any of the kids around me. I’ve been controlling panic attacks, paranoia, derealization and dissociation (to name a few) for as long as I can remember. I have been having heart palpitations and fainting spells for as long as I can remember. I am paraphrasing this, but you get the point.
I got by, with no professional help, until I was 25. And then I went through a really bad break up (emotionally), which sent me over the edge. I know, a break up, right??Well, to simplify, my paranoia went into over drive and I went into a tailspin (this had less to do with the breakup and more to do with a "timebomb" I already had inside me, but I digress). Those who don’t know…. Your brain chemistry and body composition can change after a break down. It can have serious psychological and physical implications. For me… everything changed. The symptoms I had always controlled on my own morphed (for lack of a better word) and I lost control… I stopped eating completely, started losing hair, Panic attacks became more common and more severe. Cognitive probems affected my work… I spent a year in a tail spin, traveling further and further down the rabbit hole.
I was finally able to secure mental health support on my birthday, November 20, 2014. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Anorexia Nervosa, ADD, and Bipolar disorder.
The next year was spent trying as many therapies and seeing as many professionals as possible, while simultaneously trying to hold on to my career, and getting more and more sick. The end of 2015 greeted me with the loss of my job, which set off a landslide of events leading to me being completely dependent on another person. The same person who literally nursed me back to health when I was less than 100lbs and my body was starting to shut down completely.
Well, due to personal hits of their own, that person is no longer to support me like he did. I need a job to contribute. Additionally, the next step in my therapy cannot start until I am stable in a job (this has to do with my trauma and will be happy to answer questions you have, but for the sake of length I will leave it at that for now). Not only that, but I need to be a contributing member of society again.
I have received several offers for employment, all contingent on reliable transportation.
I live about an hour’s walk from the nearest bus stop and the walk is along back, windy roads and over a highway. It is simply not safe or reasonable to rely on public transportation.
No car, means no job. No job, means no car. It’s a cycle I cannot figure out how to get out of. I have spent the past few months looking at this from every angle and I just cannot, for the life of me, think of another way other than asking for your help.
I have leapt over several hurdles to get myself ready and eligible for school, starting in the summer of 2017. I have also jumped over a couple of hurdles where the car is concerned. I have two wonderful, dear friends who have already offered assistance in big ways. One is offering his car for my use, free of charge. How generous is that?! Now, it needs a little bit of work, which I obviously cannot afford. My other friend has offered his services as a mechanic, again, free of charge.
What I need to get back up and running:
$1k-Money for parts and servicing (Car has been sitting for quite a while.)
$700-Insurance (I have to pay 6 months premium up front)
$800-License (Lost my license due to inability to pay old ticket. This includes all fees.)
**Any left over funds will be allocated to gas while I am getting started at a new job.
***If I am not able to raise my goal, I will use as much as you donate to chip away at as much of this as possible… and I will keep troubleshooting!!
If anyone has any questions about my situation, please feel free to reach out. I am willing to answer any question you have.
ANY help you can give will mean the world to me.
Anyone interested in my overall goal:
Get a car/job to stablize myself. Attend school starting in the summer to achieve my dream of becoming a therapist. I focus on children/families with trauma to help them avoid the roadblocks I have come across. I want to help neglected/abused children transition into healthy, contributing adults.
- shari graber
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