Help me fund a service dog

Wherever I am It's always about surviving, making it through the day. It's incredibly hard and I've pretty much given up severeal times but I'm hanging in there in hope of change to the better!

I'll wake up exhausted, in pain, stiffness, feeling sick and being dizzy.  Often with a headache or migraine. If I have slept anything at all I'm still as tired. A lot of days I cannot make it up from the bed in a few hours and have to depend on my partner (who I am now moving apart from) to give me medicines, food, water and whatever I might need. If he's not home i'm, bluntly put, screwed. Everything hurts. If I lie completely still it's sometimes manageable but forget about moving.

Other days I make it halfway and nearly faint onto the floor, depending on someone to give me something to eat before I faint completely.

On a good day I might make it to the kitchen to make my own breakfast (with help reaching certain things).

Every step hurts. It hurts in my feet, my legs, my back, my neck, everywhere. Intense pain shooting through me every time I move. I get false infarctpains, often fearing it's a real heartinfarct. I'll feel sick and be unable to keep my balance. I'll notice the signs of an intense migraine coming on, wondering when it will explode, like a ticking bomb. My whole body is a mess from just trying to keep itself together and not fall apart. All the muscles are working overtime on making sure my joints stay in place. I'll be foggy, unable to think straight, unable to pick out words for what I want to say, like a zombie. Trying to bend is out of question. Want to get something from the bottom-drawer? Too bad.

Currently there are no real goodmedication against fibromyalgia or EDS and nothing I've tried have worked for me. I have to rely on someone else, in this case my mate, always being there. The thing is, he won't be here, since we are moving apart and I realize how I would not survive on my own, and that too, hurts. Not being able to be independent. I can't just decide to go to the mall one day or even plan for it because it would be way too exhausting and impossible for me to plan (some days I can't get out of bed).

Now this is just the fibro and EDS on it's  own, then there's the migraines, hypoglycemia, C-PTSD and neuropsychiatric issues such as aspergers and add.

I cannot keep focused on anything and dissociate a lot. I forget what I'm doing, where I'm going, if I'm holding anything in my hand, what I'm saying. I get lost and drop things without noticing. Any sensory input drains me and hurts, noise, lights, people, touch.
I have bad compulsions to basically do anything I do not want to do like hitting myself or turning the volume to max. Real bad skinpicking. Draining routines. I have flashbacks, nightmares and panic attacks about past traumas, always being paranoid and leaving me in a disabling panic state of mind. Sometimes I fear going to sleep because of the nightterrors. Certain sounds, smells, thoughts, areas and so on can trigger horrible panic attacks. All this results in selfhate, feeling worthless, having no independence, not able to do normal things. I feel bad for having to rely on others and I constantly feel like a failure. 

Now to the goal with this funding...




My goal with this fundraiser is to be able to educate my puppy, "Tycho", through professional instructors and mentors to be a service dog.  If there's any funds left over that will go towards his other classes, gear, quality food, vet, insurance, testing etc. The puppy itself chosen for it's perfect service dog temperament and the suitability for the breed matched with me (He's an Australian Shepherd) cost 2000$ alone. He would help me become more independent and enable me to do things normal people can do, with less suffering too. I would actually be able to go to the mall, wash, "run" errands and such myself. I want the dog not to rely on but rather to become more independent. I want to be able to survive by myself and get through my paindays by myself. I cannot rely on anyone always being there anymore, I don't want to either, but a dog would be differemt. I wouldn't feel as dependant. 

I want to do things myself, anything that a healthy person can do! I want to be able to buy groceries, do laundry, make breakfast by myself in the morning, survive by myself on bad days, be able to use public transportation, go to the mall, be able to walk places without it being torture.