Main fundraiser photo

Disabled Mom & Autistic Son Crisis

Disabled single mom with young autistic son in crisis;
Needs survival funding for medical, food and housing.

Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my Campaign. Some of the photos you'll see are of me and my beautiful son Jesse. He is the greatest blessing God has gifted me. Jesse was adopted from Guatemala in 2006, when he was 6 months old and I was 41. One month after returning home from Guatemala, I began to experience uncommon medical conditions and an increase in common ones; like colds, flus, and general infections. Over the next 3 years my medical conditions and the seriousness of the conditions increased at a rapid rate. After exhausting the medical community within a 100 mile radius of my home, I was still without a diagnosis. I was informed by an Infectious Disease Specialist that my only course of action at that point was to become a case study at Mayo Clinic.

Clearly God had something better planned for me and my son. Still searching for answers and other medical options, an internet search led me to Dr. Nancy Klimas, 250 miles from my home. Dr. Klimas is a world renowned medical authority on immunology. I was completely blessed to come under her care. She diagnosed me with advanced Viral Encephalitis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Costochondritis, six incurable viruses and other maladies and syndromes. Results for extensive and uncommon lab work revealed my immune system had been essentially destroyed with little functionality left; statistically less than 9% functionality.  Dr. Klimas concluded I had contracted a parasitic disease while in Central America and that created a cascade of physical issues that still plague me; the incurable viruses still wreak havoc with my health almost continuously.

Prior to and during the 18 months I was under her care, I slept a minimum of 16 hours a day with almost no control over my ability to stay awake.  I was in constant pain. Multiple negative side-effects from the necessary medications further impacted my ability to function.

From the beginning, Jesse did whatever he could to make me smile and keep me in good spirits. He would draw me sweet pictures, and as he aged, loving notes, leaving them as a surprise on my nightstand. He spent many hours sitting beside me on my bed, entertaining me and being entertained as best as I was able.

As for Jesse, even though he spoke very little, he could read beginner books by the age of three and showed a remarkable level of intelligence. However, more prominent were his regular, constant atypical behaviors that I witnessed from the first day I held him. I had concerns about his clear dislike and inability to cope with common sounds, social situations, and strong negative reactions to "normal" sensory input, from food textures to simply being touched.

Jesse’s developmental delays and atypical behaviors became much more apparent and significant by the middle of 1st grade. I removed him from his school  immediately when I discovered he was being treated disrespectfullyby classmates because of his challenges and differences. Being bullied has been and unfortunately remains a normal occurrence for Jesse, by classmates and even teachers.  I enrolled him a new school, where staff were trained to identify potential disorders based on a student’s behaviors. Within 2 weeks of attending the school, I met with staff and administration.  It was agreed that Jesse should undergo a thorough evaluation for Autism Spectrum Disorder. The conclusion, reached after several months, was a formal diagnosis: Jesse meets 99.9% of the criteria of Autism Spectrum Disorder.   He is considered "moderately functional" with high intelligence.  This diagnosis was reached shortly after Jesse turned 6 years old.

Around this same time, I was the sole survivor of an accident, when a car turned into my lane. Sadly, the elderly couple, 90 and 91 years old, did not survive. The police determined that I was not the party at fault. This accident occurred the day before Jesse turned 6, in 2012. I was rendered unconscious at the point of impact. After significant efforts to remove me from my damaged vehicle, I was taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital where I was subsequently diagnosed  with a broken wrist, contusions, sprains and strains.  The hospital sent me home declaring that my injuries were only bumps and bruises; I was provided no follow up instructions. During my examination at the hospital, no attention was given to my inability to speak clearly or my inability to respond sensibly to questions from medical staff.

Within 24 hours of being discharged, I was in the ER at another hospital in tremendous pain and having difficulties breathing, walking, slurred speech, difficulties talking, and other problems. I was given the option of being a patient in a long-term care nursing facility or having in home nursing care. For my son’s sake, a hospital bed, portable urinal, and wheelchair became part of our home for 8 months, with the nursing care coming to my home.

Extensive medical evaluations continued over the next year. By the end of 2013, I was found to have suffered a broken sternum, torn esophagus, broken ribs, torn tendons, nerve trauma from a spinal dislocation, and traumatic brain injuries. This is not the complete list of my injuries and I am still recovering from the traumatic brain injuries and other physical and neurological damages to my body. I have never completed all of the doctor prescribed medical examinations due to lack of funds.

I have had dozens of seizures, both day and night, and the neurological testing to diagnose these seizures is not financially possible for me. I have broken several bones in falls caused by seizures. By doctor’s order, I should be receiving physical therapy up to 3 times a week. This too is something I am unable to afford. As for the lack of proper examination and treatment directly after the accident, I was told by my lawyers that to file a lawsuit against a hospital would be a costly venture with low odds of a beneficial outcome. Based on my injured condition at that time: I had difficulties in reading, writing, talking, short term memory, vision (even simple math was beyond my abilities - hard to imagine as my career had been as an engineer up to this accident), and I had to use a wheelchair due to no feeling in one of my legs, spinal injury and  the extent of broken bones in my chest.Under these and other circumstances I was in no condition to further question or pursue a lawsuit.

A Neurologist specializing in traumatic brain injuries spent many months examining me and I was under his care for over 18 months. My inability to afford his care was the sole reason I am no longer his patient. His conclusions from the multitude of examinations was that all areas of my brain experienced traumatic injury, with only 15% being classified at the lowest level of “minor”. He further indicated that it was a possibility some of these injuries could heal within 3 to 5 years, but he clarified that it was very possible I would never recover from the brain injuries. I admit when he said “never”, I could not accept his prognosis. I did not believe that God had saved my life from the failure of my immune system and my advanced case of Viral Encephalitis, and then saved my life again in the fatal car accident only to have me be forever unable to function in a useful manner. Fortunately, with a great deal of hard work and God’s continued intercession, I have made and continue to make small steps of progress toward recovery; but after close to 5 years since the accident, I still have a long road of recovery to reach useful functionality ahead of me. 

As for how I became a single parent, my former spouse abandoned my son and me, depleting our joint checking account, as soon as I transitioned from the wheelchair to a walker. He left a “Dear Jane” note on the table and took what marital property he considered his. I was served with divorce documents 8 days later. My former spouse moved five hours away. He has defiantly refused to pay child support, medical costs for Jesse, or provide medical insurance for Jesse. Jesse’s father has not made an attempt to see Jesse since his last visit almost 1½ years ago that resulted in Jesse having his arm broken. He has made less than a half dozen attempts to communicate with Jesse through an email account set up specifically for their communication. He has not responded to a single voicemail message Jesse has left for him. He has not acknowledged Jesse in any manner for any holiday, including Christmas, since our divorce was finalized in 2015.

I have extremely little hope that I will ever see any of the court ordered financial support I should be getting from Jesse’s father.

At this point, I have been unable to make my primary mortgage payment on my home of almost 17 years, September 2016.  Imminent foreclosure is a constant and very real threat.  I currently receive Social Security disability income, which is insufficient to pay our basic bills and buy food. I lack the funds to pay my monthly mortgage payment; necessary medical treatments, examinations, or medications prescribed for Jesse or myself; and food for Jesse and myself.  I have applied for every state and local program possible for assistance, but do not qualify as I am just barely over the qualifying threshold for food and medical support/aid for Jesse or myself. My house has been for sale since October 2016, as it is clear we cannot afford this home without the court ordered financial support that my former spouse has refused to pay.

The situation is critical. A local church and the Kiwanis Club helps provide us with non-perishable foods, but we don't receive any dairy products, fresh fruits or vegetables, or meats. Jesse has so many troubles and struggles that have no easy resolution (i.e. - the daily challenges of a life with Autism in school, bullying and exclusion by classmates, no extra-curricular or enrichment activities, emotional issues related to the abandonment by his father, and a mother (me) still recovering from serious injuries and commonly ill due to my damaged immune system), lack of nutritious food and where we will live after the very real likelihood of foreclosure are issues compounding his struggles. He has sensory issues associated with Autism and has a very low tolerance for foods with multiple textures. Consequently, he is not receiving sufficient nutritious food that he can actually consume. Despite all of this, Jesse has an incredible heart. He has told me to sell all his toys and his bed to help pay bills. He is willing to give anything he can to help make our situation better. He makes me weep. For a child with so little, he is willing to give it all.

My home now faces foreclosure any day.  Unless my past due mortgage payments, and associated late fees, are paid in full, the foreclosure process will begin.  Thoughts of our complex predicament and what will happen to Jesse and myself if foreclosure begins often robs me of breath. I have no savings and cannot afford even the smallest rentals at this time. Jesse is concerned that we will be living in our car. I have no easy answers and as a mother I’m supposed to have the answers; the solutions. I am supposed to provide, but the truth is, I am drowning and as of yet I have be unable to find any workable solutions.

Because of all of the wonderful people who have reached out to my son and I through this Campaign, I was able to make a single mortgage payment at the beginning of March.  I thank God that even though I did not make the required full payment, the bank agreed to delay foreclosure for March.  The bank has made no promises for delaying foreclosure beyond March. The funds I am requesting are specifically for unpaid mortgage and fees for 6 month (this includes the five payments I have been unable to pay, and the next payment due on April 1, 2017),  required medical care for Jesse and me, food, and unpaid, past due medical bills and property taxes.

We are literally at the end of our options. Please, will someone care about my son and me? This support is about life. Without support, our future is bleak. Jesse has already been through so much and has a life of challenges ahead. Please, the difference between receiving support and not receiving support truly comes down to Jesse and me having stable shelter, needed medical care and food. This directly impacts Jesse's ability to function in school and society with his Autism challenges. It also directly impacts my ability to recover to a functionally healthy state and return to work in my engineering career that I loved.

We pray every day for help. Any help would be an answer to our prayers. We are so far into the dark, that any help to see a light at the end of the tunnel would bring tears of gratefulness and joy. I would love to see my son experience true joy. I would be forever thankful and grateful for anybody’s help. I feel so alone and so scared for Jesse. In my life, I acknowledge God is first in all. My son, God’s greatest gift to me, is second to God only. I deeply crave for Jesse to be healthy and filled with joy, and have me by his side supporting him as a healthier mother.

Please, if you can’t afford to help with donations, would share this with your church, friends, family, and other parents with autistic children; or at the very least please pray for us?

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Kathleen
Please help spread the word!

The Campaign Photo is of me after the accident, in the ER waiting examination. I was unable to lay flat due to extreme pain and inability to breathe in that position. I remain unable to lay flat due to resulting severe headaches and migraines related to my traumatic brain injuries.

Organizer

Kathleen Donnelly
Organizer
Bradenton, FL

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