Help a Black queer creative escape abuse

This summer, I realized my life was in danger because of an abusive ex. He knows that as long as I live in his hometown, he will have control over me. I need your help to leave. At this current moment, I’m unemployed and raising funds for moving expenses (including plane ticket) and transportation in my new city (used car and insurance). If I don’t leave, I’m convinced that he or his family members or friends will physically harm me. 

I was in college, when I first met my abuser. He was an adult who portrayed to have a genuine interest in  my studies, my career and connected me to employment opportunities after I graduated. When our relationship became sexual, he let me lead, because he knew my history of sexual assault. He appeared to be the perfect partner, until he wasn’t. 

After I graduated, I was offered an opportunity for full-time employment in his hometown. When I moved, he was the only person I knew, outside of my family. Quickly, he used that to his advantage. Weeks later, he sexually assaulted me for the first time. To this day, I remember the searing pain, the constant No’s from my mouth, and the disassociation from my body. After he finished, I called a Lyft home and held back muffled cries, the whole time. 

Who was I supposed to contact for help, when he was my only lifeline? Who would believe me if I came forward? What if I just classify this as an “out of the ordinary” incident for us?

So I never brought it up. Instead, I started to withhold sex from him but that didn’t work because every interaction after was filled with sexual inappropriate touching. It didn’t matter the place or time, or who was there. My body was not my own. 

I know times are tough. If you’re unable to donate, please retweet or share. Thank you to my fellow Black women survivors for inspiring me to leave.