It Takes a Village

Yes, this is a long story.  
Imagine you were adopted at a young age (6mo & 3 yrs old). Taken from your place of birth, because of physical & mental abuse that you have already endured. The state puts you and your baby brother in a foster home. This place eventually becomes your new home. You are surrounded with older siblings that soon, you love as family. The parents in this home make sure you are happy and taken care of. Especially you. At the age you were when put into foster care, you were old enough for the abuse to sink in. You remembered the pain, the frustration, the never ending question of “why me!” & “why us!” The trauma stops you from creating bonds with people. You distrust & push away. Hair trigger anger and/or sadness. The feelings of worthlessness take over. Counseling has become a big part of your path growing up. Your little brother was too young to remember but the trauma alone still affects his emotional responses as well.
Seven year’s go by and the marriage in the home crumbles. The home life becomes something that you want to escape everyday. A couple of the older siblings rebel against the separation and impending divorce. They miss having the life they were used to. Your dad has had to move to his own place. He’s nearby, but sadly your not allowed to have him in your life as much anymore. Your dad is working 70+ hours a week to make sure that all of the kids have what is needed. Food. Roof over their heads. Medical visits. Clothes.
Your mothers new boyfriend and his children move in with you and your siblings before the divorce even happens. Tight living quarters for a 3 bedroom single wide trailer: 2 Adults, 7 kids, 3 dogs..... etc. All you can think about is making sure your little brother is safe and happy. The other children that have moved in pick on him because he is the smallest and youngest. Parental supervision is out the window. It’s a free for all. The only thing you can do is make sure you and your little bro are safe. You stick up for him. You are punished. He sticks up for himself. He’s punished. The new kids rule your home. This was your safe place, and now you want to escape. Neither of the adults in your home have a job, they fight constantly, break up, move out, then move back in! Then the cycle starts over.
Your life has become just school and friends houses to keep you occupied. Anytime you see your dad you hold onto him so tight as to never want to leave him again!!!!You and your brother wait and wait for the next time dad comes to see you. The physical and emotional abuse at your home becomes the norm. Police visits for domestic disturbances. DCFS randomly will check in. The only place (physically, mentally & emotionally),that continues to be stable in you and your little brothers life is being with your dad. Away from the full house. Away from the hurt.

After a year, your dad has decided to move to a new place, further away. He's moving to the city. He has found someone in his life that actually put a smile back on his face! When your dad brings you and your siblings to meet her and her son, things are super awkward (in the beginning), but so much fun. There is no yelling. They don’t fight, they laugh constantly. This is a whole different lifestyle than you have ever seen. You and your siblings realize that you have never seen your dad in this way. The compassion and understanding was comforting. Over the next two years, coming to your dads home was a breath of fresh air every other weekend. But it wasn’t enough.
One night an argument happened at your home with your mom. It ended badly. You were physically hurt. Your mother took you to the shelter and left you there. You are angry, scared, sad & frustrated. You worry for your little brothers well-being with you not there to protect him. After a couple days at the shelter your dad comes and saves you. Brings you home with him. He was horrified to find out you had been there for that long and no one notified him until now!
You are able to be 100% accepted into his home. You have a place to sleep, clothes and surrounded by people who care for you. After a week, your mother says she wants you back. Your dad has no choice! You go back. Things don’t change. They get worse for you and your little brother. Time goes by and school is shut down because of COVID! Being home everyday was fun, but your mother doesn’t want you there. Your dad comes and gets you and your little brother to stay with him & his girlfriend for a few weeks. Due to COVID, school was online but your mom didn’t make you do it. Nor has she helped with school. Dads girlfriend got us set up to continue doing our schoolwork at their house. We found out that we were failing classes due to zero work being done. After 3 weeks of persistence, tears, anger, frustration & compassion, both my brother and I had brought our grades up and completed 2 months of schooling in 3 weeks. We were so proud of ourselves. I was so thankful to actually have someone at home to help and guide us along with our work. When the time was up we had to go back to our moms house.
We didn’t want to go.
We cried.
Begged. .....
Our dad said he would find a way to make it possible for them to be able to stay.
But that it would take time.

My Name is Dana. I have had the blessing of meeting Paul over 2 years ago and his children. Seeing their struggles at their moms home breaks my heart. Everyone is raised differently, but a child deserves unconditional love, compassion & respect. Paul and I are determined to bring the two young boys to our home. A stable environment with loving parents. Parents who both understand the affects of trauma, depression and show compassion towards them. They deserve a good education and positive reinforcement at home. Coming into our home they will have nothing. We are fighting legally with the “Big Dogs!” to make this happen.
Please share this & join our page, so we can possibly raise awareness in prayers and any financial donations to go towards legal fees and medical bills for counseling for the children. We are also accepting any clothing or furniture items for the boys. 
We are also on Facebook @ittakesavillagefor2

Donations

  • Anonymous 
    • $10 
    • 2 mos

Organizer

Dana Lefevre 
Organizer
Centerville, UT

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