Help Teresa Save her Husband's Life
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Help The Hudson Family Relocate For Their Medical Needs
Teresa Hudson’s family of three needs immediate and urgent financial help to get back home to Tennessee after dedicating three years of their lives to taking care of her parents and elderly aunt in California. Teresa’s husband, Mark (most commonly known as Doug), is disabled and his health has taken a turn for the worst while living in California, due to horrible medical coverage and the effects of living in a tiny travel trailer. This has greatly compounded the financial and physical stressors in their lives. Teresa’s parents initially offered the trailer as temporary housing while Teresa took care of them until an apartment or home surfaced. In the three years they have been living in the tiny travel trailer, there have been no apartments or homes available for the Hudson family and the resources available to them are slowly being drained as they struggle to find a way back home now that they aren’t needed in California anymore.
The Hudson Family is struggling to make ends meet as they are living solely on Mark’s disability check as Teresa is his full-time caretaker. She is, therefore, unable to seek employment to contribute to their financial needs since she learned from the Social Security Administration they deduct one dollar from his disability check for every three dollars she makes. Using the Social Security Administration’s income formula, they only calculated twenty-something dollars ahead each month, which would not really help financially and put more stress on the family as a whole. At this point, Mark is not eligible to withdraw from his retirement to improve their daily comfort without being penalized, so Teresa cannot return to the workforce until that time comes.
In Tennessee, Mark’s disability income could afford them a comfortable place to rent or even purchase with a small monthly payment. Most importantly, the healthcare he received there was superior by leaps and bounds, as they were able to stabilize him and even improved his condition. The Hudson Family was thriving until they moved to California. Now Mark’s health is deteriorating rapidly with so many illnesses and physical limitations.
Please help The Hudson Family before Mark’s physical condition deteriorates so much that he is unable to make the trip, and they become permanently stuck in a tiny travel trailer in California. We are asking for your kindness and generosity in helping The Hudson Family as they have no other recourse. Please take a moment to read their full story below and see if you could be one that helps.
Collection of Medical Diagnoses:
- Cancer Malignant Melanoma stage three (Diagnosed in California with 10 surgeries so far)
- 3 Heart attacks since living in California (Diagnosed in California)
- Chronic Heart Failure (Diagnosed in California)
- Diabetes (Diagnosed in California)
- Chronic Fever Syndrome (Diagnosed in California)
- Chronic Fatigue (Diagnosed in California)
- Neuropathy throughout the body (Insurance won’t pay for medications that work and were previously covered in Tennessee )
- Chronic Pain (Insurance won’t pay for medications)
- COPD (Not smoking-related)
- Liver disease (Non-drinker)
- COVID Long-Hauler
- Asthma
- Muscular Atrophy in both legs
- Heart Arrhythmia
- Deep Vein Thrombosis
- Oxygen-dependent 24 hours a day
- Sleep apnea
- Strokes
- Fibromyalgia
- Peripheral Artery Disease
- Allergies
- High Blood Pressure
- Mild Mitral Valve Regurgitation
- Metal rods and plates fused in spine and neck
- Arthritis
- Skull Fracture
Teresa and Mark have a seven-year-old daughter, and daddy is her whole world. She cares for him and plays “Doc McStuffins” on his bad days trying to “fix” him. Gosh, Teresa wishes it were that simple. Her daughter has noticed life-changing in ways Teresa wishes could be erased for everyone, to be replaced with moments not filled with fear of the future - Fear of her daughter’s future and their family’s future. They long to just breathe the air of a new fresh start. So we humbly ask for your help to transform their dreams of a new start into a reality. Whatever that looks like to you in any capacity, even if all you do is read the rest of this plea and share it, we appreciate you individually and The Hudson Family appreciates you more than you’ll ever know.
WHAT THEY NEED:
1. To physically move their limited boxed-up personal effects. (They don’t have any furniture or appliances. A small pod would suffice for Mark’s mobility chair and 30 large moving boxes worth of clothing, cookware, medication, hygiene.)
2. To ship their car. (Mark has a blood clotting condition made worse by sitting for long periods of time. Driving to Tennessee is out of the question, as it is a huge risk to Mark’s life.)
3. Airline tickets or donated miles to get from Los Angeles, California to Knoxville, Tennessee. (They may need to fly back and forth a couple of times to sign papers in person in order to receive HUD benefits if that is the only affordable housing option for them.)
4. A car rental to get from the airport to their home.
5. Housing – They are searching for a clean handicap accessible 2-3 bedroom home.
In Teresa’s Words, Here’s How Everything Started:
"In 2018, my aging parents were needing extra help while my sibling would be unavailable. My husband’s health had its ups and downs, but he was stable at the time and the family needed us. The decision was made to move to California and live in a trailer temporarily until we found an apartment or home.
At the time, we were living in a 2 bedroom apartment and we knew that transitioning to living in the trailer would give us limited storage, so most of our clothing, all of our furniture, bedding, dining table, you name it - anything that wouldn’t fit in a large moving box, we sold or gave away to neighbors, family or friends in need. What we did keep, we paid to be shipped to California.
We even sold our truck to come here since my husband’s doctor told him it would be wise to fly instead of driving, otherwise, he would risk blood clots in his legs that could prove fatal. From the time we arrived in California, affording basic needs such as healthy food choices, gas in our car, or clothes for our daughter has been challenging. We just about dropped to the floor when we realized how much car registration in California costs every year! I founded the local branch of The Buy Nothing Project, in my town as a hyper-local gifting economy for people interested in getting to know their neighbors while providing a space for gifting and asking for items that one would otherwise buy in a store or throw away - adding to an increasing landfill. I wanted to give to our community in a way that could grow and help others. This group has been an amazing support for so many people including our family, however, resources to gain actual housing and financial stability are outside of its scope, and unfortunately not in sight for us.
Viable resources we thought would be available to us were slowly depleted and made worse by the pandemic, further preventing us from anything better as my husband's health began to take a serious nosedive. When medical problems initially started to arise, I absolutely could not believe the nonchalant and cavalier mindset of his medical team here in California. Talking to different doctors, they even admitted to me that medical care is not good here unless you can afford great insurance. This was just the beginning of our problems. Then the pandemic hit! There was no getting doctor appointments, specialist appointments, or dermatology appointments. As for returning my phone calls? They do not answer the phones, let alone call me back! It is scary and highly concerning to have a high-risk family member whose medical team is unavailable to even keep in contact with me.
About Mark a.k.a. Doug:
I am terrified we are going to lose him over the lack of treatment offered and provided here in California. I adore his smile, his positive outlook, and contagious need to joke using his favorite puns. He always has a joke! He has a kind disposition and encourages others before himself. One day he was outside, watching the birds on the bird feeder I made him for Father’s Day. I could not believe he had a small brown sparrow cupped in his hands. He said it just was not afraid. We joke with him now and call him the bird whisperer, but this is an example of the kind of warm, caring, and compassionate person he is. Kids always flock to him, too, like he is not a stranger. He is a great dad and helps our daughter with homework and loves to look at her schoolwork and hear her read. He even lets her put all her hair barrettes in his hair.
When I look at him, I see a man who loves with his whole heart and cares beyond measure for everyone. He shows his care by talking with people when he gets a chance, but even that gets cut short because his oxygen cannot keep up with his words and he must stop talking to let his oxygen supply catch up.
We noticed immediately upon moving to California how difficult it is to find decent physicians for all his needs: Cardiologist, Oncologist, Dermatologist, Orthopedic Surgeon, Neurologist, Urologist, Heart and Vein Specialist, and General Practitioner. This is the team of doctors needed in order for him to attempt to have some normalcy in his day-to-day life. When I say “team,” I think back to when we were in Tennessee and all the doctors would team up and discuss his needs and figure out how to work together for his well-being. Here? They cannot even properly send each other emails or faxes with information on it, resulting in rescheduling needed surgeries because they did not take the time to do things right, if at all. The consequence falls on him ad it affects our whole family. We have to wait another month for a surgery opening, as if it does not matter that he has cancer that eats at his blood vessels, waiting to spread into his bloodstream! This wait for medical treatments is so frustrating because it is life-threatening!
Trying to get prescriptions has been absolutely ridiculous! He takes twenty different prescriptions daily, some two to three times a day for these conditions, and we barely have the room to keep them in our tiny trailer. His debilitating neuropathy throughout his body and muscular atrophy in his legs causes daily widespread chronic pain, which limits his overall physical capability, and has worsened significantly since the insurance here will not cover pain medications as they did in Tennessee. When he walks short distances, his legs go numb, and he says it feels like someone is injecting lava into his veins. He now relies on a mobility chair to get around if he knows that a particular day or activity will require a lot of walking. Mark likes to spend time outdoors when the air quality is good, but he fears getting San Joaquin Valley Fever, a condition where the mold spores found in the dry dirt transfer to your lungs via the wind, ultimately causing devastation to your lungs. We have so much wind here all year long. Gusts of wind at 30-45 mph are not uncommon, with large gusts of wind up to 55-70 mph. The high elevation at 4,000 feet above sea level causes his shortness of breath, exacerbation of COPD symptoms, and sharp lung pain. He is on five liters of supplemental liquid oxygen, yet he still has sudden drops in oxygen levels out of nowhere. He enjoys his independence as much as possible, but California’s climate is not allowing him the opportunity as often as Tennessee’s climate did.
Some of Mark’s medicines are not covered in California under our insurance even with our doctor requesting a prior authorization showing a historical need for it. One of the biggest problems we ran into is doctors wanting to change his medications even though he told them that it took two years of trial and error to find his current medication, one that actually works. He had been prescribed medicines in Tennessee that had been the best concoction for him to feel stable, yet the doctors here want to take medicines away or add to them. The doctors even threaten that if he does not change his medications, they will stop treating him. Some doctors leave practices or retire, oftentimes without notice to the patients under their care. This has happened to Mark and required more appointments to establish all his medical needs once again, only to have them wanting to change up his medications again based on a new doctor’s opinion. Because of this, he had an allergic reaction to a blood pressure medication that he specifically said would not work for him. His systolic and diastolic numbers both hit triple digits and he had coughing bouts to the point of passing out. Upon calling the doctor’s office, they said he would need to make another appointment to make any changes in his medication and advised him to keep taking it! I tried to schedule an appointment during that phone call, but I was told the system was down and was asked to call back the next day. I am assuming there are some great physicians here in California, but I am noticing that they are limited in their ability to treat Mark or take him as a patient because of our insurance.
My husband is not a complainer about his pain and he just keeps pushing through and doing what needs to be done to the best of his ability. Some days, his abilities are quite limited to sitting in his chair in pain. He says he is used to the pain and knows there is nothing he can do about it here so why complain. He laughs, but I know he is putting on a positive attitude to deal with the hopelessness he’s feeling inside.
His biggest frustration is that no matter what calls are made, the doctors never seem to know what is going on. There is such a lack of organization with his medical care in California, and when he needs medical care, organization is so critical! We are also getting taxed to death, which eats at our income and makes it impossible to save. All the specialists are at least an hour drive, so it takes extra money to fill the gas tank just to make it to these appointments.
The doctors are fighting with our insurance company to no avail. It really is hopeless for us here. Some of the specialists ran all kinds of routine tests. Others ordered procedures, only to drop him because they cannot figure out the hows or whys of my husband’s medical problems. He has many conditions that react and compound the others. Most doctors he sees in California would say that he is unique in his health decline and requires additional care and knowledge than most patients they see. In contrast, the doctors in Tennessee also saw his unique medical challenges but took them on, one by one. His specialists and general practitioner in Tennessee would collaborate often to discuss his medical needs, and over time, were able to come up with unique combinations of medications that ultimately stabilized his pain levels and slowed his progressive decline in health. They had no limitation on compassion, nor did they give up. For example, the pulmonary doctor treating my husband told us he was so inspired by my husband’s significant respiratory disease, that he was quitting his practice so he could develop better breathing machines to change the lives of people just like my husband.
In California, Marks’s experience is to get dropped by his doctor if they do not know how to treat him. I do not know whether the doctors cannot, or simply will not, spend the time it requires to discern how to treat Mark. Everything is so hurried out here and it seems like Mark is more of a number for a doctor to reach a goal, rather than a patient who is a human being and has value. Especially with Medi-Cal, he is treated as if he is not worth their time as they do not even cover many services rendered. It devastates me to know his medical problems will only get worse here and no real help is available. I want to see him happy again and alleviate some of his pain so he can get out more and enjoy life instead of looking out the tiny travel trailer window and wondering if he will ever feel decent again. He is not looking for perfection, just stability, and it has become very clear that we cannot get stability here. I have a lump in my throat right now just thinking about it. If we stay here, he will die here. He is my best friend whom I love, and he will no longer be by my side watching our little sweet girl grow up if we stay here. I need him. His daughter needs him. She is as dependent on us now as she was when she was just a baby. I cannot imagine life without him here.
February 24, 2019 marks a year since we moved to California to take care of my parents. It was 6:15 PM to be exact. I know because I glanced at the clock on the microwave when I saw my husband’s face after he hung up the phone. “I have cancer,” he said, his blue eyes looking up at me. “Malignant Melanoma.” I could hear what he was saying, but it did not register. It was not until the moment our then five-year-old daughter climbed up on his footrest and held his hands in both of hers, looked him in the eyes, and acknowledged what my brain could not seem to accept, that I was able to process what he just said. It made sense that she understood because she has a heart bigger than the Grand Canyon, and when it comes to her daddy, she has this sixth sense of understanding and kindness that pours from her sweet spirit. I would like to share this private moment that left me holding my breath praying for solace:
Daughter: “Daddy, I know you’re going to get worser and worser.”
Daddy: “What do you mean by worser and worser?”
Daughter: “You are really sick and you’re going to get worser and worser and that’s the way it has to be. But trust me it’s going to be alright. I promise.”
He asked her one last time, “worser and worser?” trying to get a gauge on what she understood about what the future might look like to her. I held my breath. She responded, “That you’re sick and have pain. Your pain will get worser and worser but it will be alright. I will hold your hand. And I will help you get up, I promise.” I think we’ve all been holding our breath waiting for a moment of peace ever since.
Promising resources that I thought would be here for us have changed, are no longer available, or are not accepting new applicants due to COVID, which my husband contracted at the beginning of the pandemic. He is now termed “a COVID long hauler,” further complicating his extensive medical conditions. This alone is why we need to go home to Tennessee where the doctors took care of him and strived to coordinate with his other doctors/specialists for the best care possible. We cannot get this care for him here. It simply does not exist for us in California.
Besides his health being a number one reason for relocating, this tiny travel trailer we are living in is physically cramped and is not meant for full-time permanent living. My husband spends most of his days in his recliner as we literally have a 4-foot by 13-foot space to maneuver in, and we’ve been crammed like this for the last three years. Living in this tiny space requires a lot of twisting, bending, sidestepping (that he physically cannot do without injuring himself further), getting out of the way, and moving items that do not have a permanent place wherever it can sit until it needs to be moved or used again. It is downright exhausting.
Mark has a mobility chair that was gifted to him through the Buy Nothing Group, but he cannot use it in our small living area. When it rains, condensation builds up and the walls drip with water because the dehumidifier cannot keep up. Mold grows in the windowsills and screens, on the carpet edges where it meets the walls, and behind our mattresses where they touch the walls. Anything that touches the walls does not dry and grows mold.
(One of the moldy windowsills)
Random things like the interior trim loosen and the blinds have all begun to deteriorate. The heat vent next to our daughter’s room does not blow air. The air conditioner drips water inside when we get heavy rain. We have woken up to a puddle of water on the floor after a storm because the window was not sealed properly during production. It took 2 weeks for the area to dry. We have had to replace the water heater, the refrigerator, and a part on the toilet. The septic system is a pain to have to empty every five days or so. Given that this is currently our permanent living space, rain, snow, and heat are all frustrating to deal with. The bathtub is not big enough (about 36” long) to properly bathe Mark in, and hot water lasts only a short 6 minutes per shower. These living conditions may be great for some individuals or on a part-time basis, and we probably would have been okay had this been a temporary living space, but we cannot do it anymore given our essential need for handicapped-friendly living.
Moving out of California is the first step toward gaining any chance of a healthier life, a possibility of extending life for our family, but we also need a place to call home when we get there. If we were able to have a home, we could afford the monthly mortgage payments, but acquiring the down payment to make it happen is something we just do not have. We do not need anything extravagant, just something clean and move-in ready that will suit my husband’s needs to thrive instead of living on the edge of surviving. A single-story handicap-accessible home would allow my husband to remain as independent as possible as his illnesses progress.
Looking at the lowest cost of homes only, we would need to come up with at least $10,000 for a down payment. The lowest-cost homes may require fixing up, but I would be willing to learn how to make repairs if it meant we could provide a sense of comfort and stability for my family. I just wish to provide a new start.
About Me:
I am actively taking care of all of Mark’s daily living activities, especially when he has days with balance disruptions, pain limitations, and other complications from his illnesses, while I am also simultaneously homeschooling our 7-year-old daughter, who, over the last three years, has voiced, “Is daddy is going to die? I’m going to cry if daddy dies. Can we go back home?” She asks to “go back home” a lot. How do I even begin a conversation like that with a 7-year-old?
The short answer is we do not have the money to move to a better location, but to a child, it’s incomprehensible how money decides if daddy will get the care he needs when all she knows is that we were able to move to California when the family needed help. If we did that, then why can’t we do it now when daddy needs it? The truth is we have been struggling since we got here and have been one step away from homelessness as our rent has increased $100 in the last three years. Now that my parents are not needing our help like they were, we tried to look into staying in California, but we do not have enough money to afford housing here, nor to even move back home, much less be able to purchase a home without help.
My depression has gotten worse and the hopelessness is seeping in deeper every day. I am not one to sit and just accept a situation. I will research, call, and seek out resources, and I have spent the last three years looking for alternate housing here as moving across the country didn't seem like a possibility, always stopping short of considering a community in California where crime is high. Now that Mark’s medical conditions are sliding downhill quicker than I can type, I need to make his health the priority and ask the public for help as we cannot do this on our own. We believe God will make a way when there seems to be none. I know He has a plan for our lives and to give us hope and a future, so my faith is grounded in His promises. I pray He will place people in our path that will be able to help us make this happen.
I will answer a question you might be thinking about. Why don’t I just pick up some income? A work-at-home job? I would love to, but I am unable to at this time. The reason being, if I work while Mark is on SSI, which he needs for his medication prescriptions alone, then Social Security will take one dollar from his monthly benefit for every three dollars I make. Figuring the math using their formula with me working a full-time job at minimum wage, we come out making about only $20 more a month than he receives already. I wish it were not this way, but it is. It is not worth leaving him all day and having someone we do not know coming to care for him. The cost of a monthly insurance plan that would include a massive amount of prescriptions every month would be extravagant. We refuse to get a divorce, as social security has casually remarked as a solution. Apparently, being married poses the problem that if I earn income, it reduces his SSI benefit every month. If we were just cohabitants, living together, unmarried, we would both be free to keep our income. How does that even make sense? They want me to leave him at his worst. I simply will not do that. I made a serious vow to love him and stand by him in sickness and in health!
In two years, if Mark reaches retirement, I will be afforded the opportunity to work from home and the earned income I make will not reduce his monthly benefit. However, if he is still with us in two years, he may not be well enough to travel, and we will be stuck in this trailer watching everything fall apart around us. We will be stuck in the back of this trailer park where police often rush in, to raid homes, sometimes with guns drawn, directing residents to stay inside. It is scary for a child to see this, and for Mama to tell her everything is going to be okay when I am not sure myself how true that statement is. Our future here is null. If we stay, I am terrified we will become another statistic. A family living in poverty with no way to step up. We realize now that having good intentions to help family does not mean we can move across the country with nothing and eventually make it work. We realize that without the help and generosity of others, we have no way to make it work."
*It is our hope that this sincere story of The Hudson Family reaches out to anyone willing and able to help them get back “home,” where medical coverage works at its best for Mark, and the doctors can, and do, find treatments and answers for his health problems.
*Will you help us find the “better” moments in life for The Hudson Family? Anything to help them get a fresh start is much appreciated. Wherever they eventually call home, Teresa plans to bring happiness, hope, and encouragement to the neighbors, friends, and community at large. She promises to pay this forward for the rest of her life by continuing the Buy Nothing Project in her new community. Please consider giving to their needs. They just want to go where “home” means living and thriving in the company of each other.
You can help by donating any monetary amount to the categories below or simply sharing this story to further their hope.
Our monetary goal is to reach $20,000 by Summer 2021 so they can rebuild their lives. Please notice how donations will be used below.
FOR AIRLINE TRANSPORTATION DONATIONS: Please hit the “Contact” button below to make arrangements if you would like to donate airline miles.
Airline ticket monetary goal: $1700
UHaul Pod: $5000
Car Hauling Moving Service: $1500
Car Rental from Airport in Tennessee (2 weeks): $1015
This is an example of what price range a $10,000 down payment could help them attain:
Thank you so much for taking the time to read through their story and for donating and sharing. We wish everyone a safe, healthy, and prosperous 2021!
Teresa Hudson’s family of three needs immediate and urgent financial help to get back home to Tennessee after dedicating three years of their lives to taking care of her parents and elderly aunt in California. Teresa’s husband, Mark (most commonly known as Doug), is disabled and his health has taken a turn for the worst while living in California, due to horrible medical coverage and the effects of living in a tiny travel trailer. This has greatly compounded the financial and physical stressors in their lives. Teresa’s parents initially offered the trailer as temporary housing while Teresa took care of them until an apartment or home surfaced. In the three years they have been living in the tiny travel trailer, there have been no apartments or homes available for the Hudson family and the resources available to them are slowly being drained as they struggle to find a way back home now that they aren’t needed in California anymore.
The Hudson Family is struggling to make ends meet as they are living solely on Mark’s disability check as Teresa is his full-time caretaker. She is, therefore, unable to seek employment to contribute to their financial needs since she learned from the Social Security Administration they deduct one dollar from his disability check for every three dollars she makes. Using the Social Security Administration’s income formula, they only calculated twenty-something dollars ahead each month, which would not really help financially and put more stress on the family as a whole. At this point, Mark is not eligible to withdraw from his retirement to improve their daily comfort without being penalized, so Teresa cannot return to the workforce until that time comes.
In Tennessee, Mark’s disability income could afford them a comfortable place to rent or even purchase with a small monthly payment. Most importantly, the healthcare he received there was superior by leaps and bounds, as they were able to stabilize him and even improved his condition. The Hudson Family was thriving until they moved to California. Now Mark’s health is deteriorating rapidly with so many illnesses and physical limitations.
Please help The Hudson Family before Mark’s physical condition deteriorates so much that he is unable to make the trip, and they become permanently stuck in a tiny travel trailer in California. We are asking for your kindness and generosity in helping The Hudson Family as they have no other recourse. Please take a moment to read their full story below and see if you could be one that helps.
Collection of Medical Diagnoses:
- Cancer Malignant Melanoma stage three (Diagnosed in California with 10 surgeries so far)
- 3 Heart attacks since living in California (Diagnosed in California)
- Chronic Heart Failure (Diagnosed in California)
- Diabetes (Diagnosed in California)
- Chronic Fever Syndrome (Diagnosed in California)
- Chronic Fatigue (Diagnosed in California)
- Neuropathy throughout the body (Insurance won’t pay for medications that work and were previously covered in Tennessee )
- Chronic Pain (Insurance won’t pay for medications)
- COPD (Not smoking-related)
- Liver disease (Non-drinker)
- COVID Long-Hauler
- Asthma
- Muscular Atrophy in both legs
- Heart Arrhythmia
- Deep Vein Thrombosis
- Oxygen-dependent 24 hours a day
- Sleep apnea
- Strokes
- Fibromyalgia
- Peripheral Artery Disease
- Allergies
- High Blood Pressure
- Mild Mitral Valve Regurgitation
- Metal rods and plates fused in spine and neck
- Arthritis
- Skull Fracture
Teresa and Mark have a seven-year-old daughter, and daddy is her whole world. She cares for him and plays “Doc McStuffins” on his bad days trying to “fix” him. Gosh, Teresa wishes it were that simple. Her daughter has noticed life-changing in ways Teresa wishes could be erased for everyone, to be replaced with moments not filled with fear of the future - Fear of her daughter’s future and their family’s future. They long to just breathe the air of a new fresh start. So we humbly ask for your help to transform their dreams of a new start into a reality. Whatever that looks like to you in any capacity, even if all you do is read the rest of this plea and share it, we appreciate you individually and The Hudson Family appreciates you more than you’ll ever know.
WHAT THEY NEED:
1. To physically move their limited boxed-up personal effects. (They don’t have any furniture or appliances. A small pod would suffice for Mark’s mobility chair and 30 large moving boxes worth of clothing, cookware, medication, hygiene.)
2. To ship their car. (Mark has a blood clotting condition made worse by sitting for long periods of time. Driving to Tennessee is out of the question, as it is a huge risk to Mark’s life.)
3. Airline tickets or donated miles to get from Los Angeles, California to Knoxville, Tennessee. (They may need to fly back and forth a couple of times to sign papers in person in order to receive HUD benefits if that is the only affordable housing option for them.)
4. A car rental to get from the airport to their home.
5. Housing – They are searching for a clean handicap accessible 2-3 bedroom home.
In Teresa’s Words, Here’s How Everything Started:
"In 2018, my aging parents were needing extra help while my sibling would be unavailable. My husband’s health had its ups and downs, but he was stable at the time and the family needed us. The decision was made to move to California and live in a trailer temporarily until we found an apartment or home.
At the time, we were living in a 2 bedroom apartment and we knew that transitioning to living in the trailer would give us limited storage, so most of our clothing, all of our furniture, bedding, dining table, you name it - anything that wouldn’t fit in a large moving box, we sold or gave away to neighbors, family or friends in need. What we did keep, we paid to be shipped to California.
We even sold our truck to come here since my husband’s doctor told him it would be wise to fly instead of driving, otherwise, he would risk blood clots in his legs that could prove fatal. From the time we arrived in California, affording basic needs such as healthy food choices, gas in our car, or clothes for our daughter has been challenging. We just about dropped to the floor when we realized how much car registration in California costs every year! I founded the local branch of The Buy Nothing Project, in my town as a hyper-local gifting economy for people interested in getting to know their neighbors while providing a space for gifting and asking for items that one would otherwise buy in a store or throw away - adding to an increasing landfill. I wanted to give to our community in a way that could grow and help others. This group has been an amazing support for so many people including our family, however, resources to gain actual housing and financial stability are outside of its scope, and unfortunately not in sight for us.
Viable resources we thought would be available to us were slowly depleted and made worse by the pandemic, further preventing us from anything better as my husband's health began to take a serious nosedive. When medical problems initially started to arise, I absolutely could not believe the nonchalant and cavalier mindset of his medical team here in California. Talking to different doctors, they even admitted to me that medical care is not good here unless you can afford great insurance. This was just the beginning of our problems. Then the pandemic hit! There was no getting doctor appointments, specialist appointments, or dermatology appointments. As for returning my phone calls? They do not answer the phones, let alone call me back! It is scary and highly concerning to have a high-risk family member whose medical team is unavailable to even keep in contact with me.
About Mark a.k.a. Doug:
I am terrified we are going to lose him over the lack of treatment offered and provided here in California. I adore his smile, his positive outlook, and contagious need to joke using his favorite puns. He always has a joke! He has a kind disposition and encourages others before himself. One day he was outside, watching the birds on the bird feeder I made him for Father’s Day. I could not believe he had a small brown sparrow cupped in his hands. He said it just was not afraid. We joke with him now and call him the bird whisperer, but this is an example of the kind of warm, caring, and compassionate person he is. Kids always flock to him, too, like he is not a stranger. He is a great dad and helps our daughter with homework and loves to look at her schoolwork and hear her read. He even lets her put all her hair barrettes in his hair.
When I look at him, I see a man who loves with his whole heart and cares beyond measure for everyone. He shows his care by talking with people when he gets a chance, but even that gets cut short because his oxygen cannot keep up with his words and he must stop talking to let his oxygen supply catch up.
We noticed immediately upon moving to California how difficult it is to find decent physicians for all his needs: Cardiologist, Oncologist, Dermatologist, Orthopedic Surgeon, Neurologist, Urologist, Heart and Vein Specialist, and General Practitioner. This is the team of doctors needed in order for him to attempt to have some normalcy in his day-to-day life. When I say “team,” I think back to when we were in Tennessee and all the doctors would team up and discuss his needs and figure out how to work together for his well-being. Here? They cannot even properly send each other emails or faxes with information on it, resulting in rescheduling needed surgeries because they did not take the time to do things right, if at all. The consequence falls on him ad it affects our whole family. We have to wait another month for a surgery opening, as if it does not matter that he has cancer that eats at his blood vessels, waiting to spread into his bloodstream! This wait for medical treatments is so frustrating because it is life-threatening!
Trying to get prescriptions has been absolutely ridiculous! He takes twenty different prescriptions daily, some two to three times a day for these conditions, and we barely have the room to keep them in our tiny trailer. His debilitating neuropathy throughout his body and muscular atrophy in his legs causes daily widespread chronic pain, which limits his overall physical capability, and has worsened significantly since the insurance here will not cover pain medications as they did in Tennessee. When he walks short distances, his legs go numb, and he says it feels like someone is injecting lava into his veins. He now relies on a mobility chair to get around if he knows that a particular day or activity will require a lot of walking. Mark likes to spend time outdoors when the air quality is good, but he fears getting San Joaquin Valley Fever, a condition where the mold spores found in the dry dirt transfer to your lungs via the wind, ultimately causing devastation to your lungs. We have so much wind here all year long. Gusts of wind at 30-45 mph are not uncommon, with large gusts of wind up to 55-70 mph. The high elevation at 4,000 feet above sea level causes his shortness of breath, exacerbation of COPD symptoms, and sharp lung pain. He is on five liters of supplemental liquid oxygen, yet he still has sudden drops in oxygen levels out of nowhere. He enjoys his independence as much as possible, but California’s climate is not allowing him the opportunity as often as Tennessee’s climate did.
Some of Mark’s medicines are not covered in California under our insurance even with our doctor requesting a prior authorization showing a historical need for it. One of the biggest problems we ran into is doctors wanting to change his medications even though he told them that it took two years of trial and error to find his current medication, one that actually works. He had been prescribed medicines in Tennessee that had been the best concoction for him to feel stable, yet the doctors here want to take medicines away or add to them. The doctors even threaten that if he does not change his medications, they will stop treating him. Some doctors leave practices or retire, oftentimes without notice to the patients under their care. This has happened to Mark and required more appointments to establish all his medical needs once again, only to have them wanting to change up his medications again based on a new doctor’s opinion. Because of this, he had an allergic reaction to a blood pressure medication that he specifically said would not work for him. His systolic and diastolic numbers both hit triple digits and he had coughing bouts to the point of passing out. Upon calling the doctor’s office, they said he would need to make another appointment to make any changes in his medication and advised him to keep taking it! I tried to schedule an appointment during that phone call, but I was told the system was down and was asked to call back the next day. I am assuming there are some great physicians here in California, but I am noticing that they are limited in their ability to treat Mark or take him as a patient because of our insurance.
My husband is not a complainer about his pain and he just keeps pushing through and doing what needs to be done to the best of his ability. Some days, his abilities are quite limited to sitting in his chair in pain. He says he is used to the pain and knows there is nothing he can do about it here so why complain. He laughs, but I know he is putting on a positive attitude to deal with the hopelessness he’s feeling inside.
His biggest frustration is that no matter what calls are made, the doctors never seem to know what is going on. There is such a lack of organization with his medical care in California, and when he needs medical care, organization is so critical! We are also getting taxed to death, which eats at our income and makes it impossible to save. All the specialists are at least an hour drive, so it takes extra money to fill the gas tank just to make it to these appointments.
The doctors are fighting with our insurance company to no avail. It really is hopeless for us here. Some of the specialists ran all kinds of routine tests. Others ordered procedures, only to drop him because they cannot figure out the hows or whys of my husband’s medical problems. He has many conditions that react and compound the others. Most doctors he sees in California would say that he is unique in his health decline and requires additional care and knowledge than most patients they see. In contrast, the doctors in Tennessee also saw his unique medical challenges but took them on, one by one. His specialists and general practitioner in Tennessee would collaborate often to discuss his medical needs, and over time, were able to come up with unique combinations of medications that ultimately stabilized his pain levels and slowed his progressive decline in health. They had no limitation on compassion, nor did they give up. For example, the pulmonary doctor treating my husband told us he was so inspired by my husband’s significant respiratory disease, that he was quitting his practice so he could develop better breathing machines to change the lives of people just like my husband.
In California, Marks’s experience is to get dropped by his doctor if they do not know how to treat him. I do not know whether the doctors cannot, or simply will not, spend the time it requires to discern how to treat Mark. Everything is so hurried out here and it seems like Mark is more of a number for a doctor to reach a goal, rather than a patient who is a human being and has value. Especially with Medi-Cal, he is treated as if he is not worth their time as they do not even cover many services rendered. It devastates me to know his medical problems will only get worse here and no real help is available. I want to see him happy again and alleviate some of his pain so he can get out more and enjoy life instead of looking out the tiny travel trailer window and wondering if he will ever feel decent again. He is not looking for perfection, just stability, and it has become very clear that we cannot get stability here. I have a lump in my throat right now just thinking about it. If we stay here, he will die here. He is my best friend whom I love, and he will no longer be by my side watching our little sweet girl grow up if we stay here. I need him. His daughter needs him. She is as dependent on us now as she was when she was just a baby. I cannot imagine life without him here.
February 24, 2019 marks a year since we moved to California to take care of my parents. It was 6:15 PM to be exact. I know because I glanced at the clock on the microwave when I saw my husband’s face after he hung up the phone. “I have cancer,” he said, his blue eyes looking up at me. “Malignant Melanoma.” I could hear what he was saying, but it did not register. It was not until the moment our then five-year-old daughter climbed up on his footrest and held his hands in both of hers, looked him in the eyes, and acknowledged what my brain could not seem to accept, that I was able to process what he just said. It made sense that she understood because she has a heart bigger than the Grand Canyon, and when it comes to her daddy, she has this sixth sense of understanding and kindness that pours from her sweet spirit. I would like to share this private moment that left me holding my breath praying for solace:
Daughter: “Daddy, I know you’re going to get worser and worser.”
Daddy: “What do you mean by worser and worser?”
Daughter: “You are really sick and you’re going to get worser and worser and that’s the way it has to be. But trust me it’s going to be alright. I promise.”
He asked her one last time, “worser and worser?” trying to get a gauge on what she understood about what the future might look like to her. I held my breath. She responded, “That you’re sick and have pain. Your pain will get worser and worser but it will be alright. I will hold your hand. And I will help you get up, I promise.” I think we’ve all been holding our breath waiting for a moment of peace ever since.
Promising resources that I thought would be here for us have changed, are no longer available, or are not accepting new applicants due to COVID, which my husband contracted at the beginning of the pandemic. He is now termed “a COVID long hauler,” further complicating his extensive medical conditions. This alone is why we need to go home to Tennessee where the doctors took care of him and strived to coordinate with his other doctors/specialists for the best care possible. We cannot get this care for him here. It simply does not exist for us in California.
Besides his health being a number one reason for relocating, this tiny travel trailer we are living in is physically cramped and is not meant for full-time permanent living. My husband spends most of his days in his recliner as we literally have a 4-foot by 13-foot space to maneuver in, and we’ve been crammed like this for the last three years. Living in this tiny space requires a lot of twisting, bending, sidestepping (that he physically cannot do without injuring himself further), getting out of the way, and moving items that do not have a permanent place wherever it can sit until it needs to be moved or used again. It is downright exhausting.
Mark has a mobility chair that was gifted to him through the Buy Nothing Group, but he cannot use it in our small living area. When it rains, condensation builds up and the walls drip with water because the dehumidifier cannot keep up. Mold grows in the windowsills and screens, on the carpet edges where it meets the walls, and behind our mattresses where they touch the walls. Anything that touches the walls does not dry and grows mold.
(One of the moldy windowsills)Random things like the interior trim loosen and the blinds have all begun to deteriorate. The heat vent next to our daughter’s room does not blow air. The air conditioner drips water inside when we get heavy rain. We have woken up to a puddle of water on the floor after a storm because the window was not sealed properly during production. It took 2 weeks for the area to dry. We have had to replace the water heater, the refrigerator, and a part on the toilet. The septic system is a pain to have to empty every five days or so. Given that this is currently our permanent living space, rain, snow, and heat are all frustrating to deal with. The bathtub is not big enough (about 36” long) to properly bathe Mark in, and hot water lasts only a short 6 minutes per shower. These living conditions may be great for some individuals or on a part-time basis, and we probably would have been okay had this been a temporary living space, but we cannot do it anymore given our essential need for handicapped-friendly living.
Moving out of California is the first step toward gaining any chance of a healthier life, a possibility of extending life for our family, but we also need a place to call home when we get there. If we were able to have a home, we could afford the monthly mortgage payments, but acquiring the down payment to make it happen is something we just do not have. We do not need anything extravagant, just something clean and move-in ready that will suit my husband’s needs to thrive instead of living on the edge of surviving. A single-story handicap-accessible home would allow my husband to remain as independent as possible as his illnesses progress.
Looking at the lowest cost of homes only, we would need to come up with at least $10,000 for a down payment. The lowest-cost homes may require fixing up, but I would be willing to learn how to make repairs if it meant we could provide a sense of comfort and stability for my family. I just wish to provide a new start.
About Me:
I am actively taking care of all of Mark’s daily living activities, especially when he has days with balance disruptions, pain limitations, and other complications from his illnesses, while I am also simultaneously homeschooling our 7-year-old daughter, who, over the last three years, has voiced, “Is daddy is going to die? I’m going to cry if daddy dies. Can we go back home?” She asks to “go back home” a lot. How do I even begin a conversation like that with a 7-year-old?
The short answer is we do not have the money to move to a better location, but to a child, it’s incomprehensible how money decides if daddy will get the care he needs when all she knows is that we were able to move to California when the family needed help. If we did that, then why can’t we do it now when daddy needs it? The truth is we have been struggling since we got here and have been one step away from homelessness as our rent has increased $100 in the last three years. Now that my parents are not needing our help like they were, we tried to look into staying in California, but we do not have enough money to afford housing here, nor to even move back home, much less be able to purchase a home without help.
My depression has gotten worse and the hopelessness is seeping in deeper every day. I am not one to sit and just accept a situation. I will research, call, and seek out resources, and I have spent the last three years looking for alternate housing here as moving across the country didn't seem like a possibility, always stopping short of considering a community in California where crime is high. Now that Mark’s medical conditions are sliding downhill quicker than I can type, I need to make his health the priority and ask the public for help as we cannot do this on our own. We believe God will make a way when there seems to be none. I know He has a plan for our lives and to give us hope and a future, so my faith is grounded in His promises. I pray He will place people in our path that will be able to help us make this happen.
I will answer a question you might be thinking about. Why don’t I just pick up some income? A work-at-home job? I would love to, but I am unable to at this time. The reason being, if I work while Mark is on SSI, which he needs for his medication prescriptions alone, then Social Security will take one dollar from his monthly benefit for every three dollars I make. Figuring the math using their formula with me working a full-time job at minimum wage, we come out making about only $20 more a month than he receives already. I wish it were not this way, but it is. It is not worth leaving him all day and having someone we do not know coming to care for him. The cost of a monthly insurance plan that would include a massive amount of prescriptions every month would be extravagant. We refuse to get a divorce, as social security has casually remarked as a solution. Apparently, being married poses the problem that if I earn income, it reduces his SSI benefit every month. If we were just cohabitants, living together, unmarried, we would both be free to keep our income. How does that even make sense? They want me to leave him at his worst. I simply will not do that. I made a serious vow to love him and stand by him in sickness and in health!
In two years, if Mark reaches retirement, I will be afforded the opportunity to work from home and the earned income I make will not reduce his monthly benefit. However, if he is still with us in two years, he may not be well enough to travel, and we will be stuck in this trailer watching everything fall apart around us. We will be stuck in the back of this trailer park where police often rush in, to raid homes, sometimes with guns drawn, directing residents to stay inside. It is scary for a child to see this, and for Mama to tell her everything is going to be okay when I am not sure myself how true that statement is. Our future here is null. If we stay, I am terrified we will become another statistic. A family living in poverty with no way to step up. We realize now that having good intentions to help family does not mean we can move across the country with nothing and eventually make it work. We realize that without the help and generosity of others, we have no way to make it work."
*It is our hope that this sincere story of The Hudson Family reaches out to anyone willing and able to help them get back “home,” where medical coverage works at its best for Mark, and the doctors can, and do, find treatments and answers for his health problems.
*Will you help us find the “better” moments in life for The Hudson Family? Anything to help them get a fresh start is much appreciated. Wherever they eventually call home, Teresa plans to bring happiness, hope, and encouragement to the neighbors, friends, and community at large. She promises to pay this forward for the rest of her life by continuing the Buy Nothing Project in her new community. Please consider giving to their needs. They just want to go where “home” means living and thriving in the company of each other.
You can help by donating any monetary amount to the categories below or simply sharing this story to further their hope.
Our monetary goal is to reach $20,000 by Summer 2021 so they can rebuild their lives. Please notice how donations will be used below.
FOR AIRLINE TRANSPORTATION DONATIONS: Please hit the “Contact” button below to make arrangements if you would like to donate airline miles.
Airline ticket monetary goal: $1700
UHaul Pod: $5000
Car Hauling Moving Service: $1500
Car Rental from Airport in Tennessee (2 weeks): $1015
This is an example of what price range a $10,000 down payment could help them attain:
Thank you so much for taking the time to read through their story and for donating and sharing. We wish everyone a safe, healthy, and prosperous 2021!
Fundraising team (3)
Laura Lopez
Organizer
Raised $920 from 11 donations
Tehachapi, CA
MARK HUDSON
Beneficiary
Jennifer Carr
Team member
Raised $100 from 1 donation
Delia Tatiana
Team member
This team raised $6,161 from 44 other donations.
