<img src="https://d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net/53621732_1609354212667504_r.jpeg" alt="53621732_1609354212667504_r.jpeg" width="100%" media_type="3" />A few weeks short of my 29th birthday, I learned that my biggest dream, becoming a dog mom, was about to come true. I ruined the surprise when—after  he told me that I was going to love the gift he was getting me more than the Apple Watch I had requested—I jokingly asked my ex if he was getting me a dog for my birthday instead. Naturally, I didn’t believe him and fell to my knees, telling him that it would be cruel for him to play with my emotions like that. He reassured me, disappointed that I had ruined said surprise but showed me his Amazon cart full of toys and supplies for my future baby boy, Bernie.  Things with my ex ultimately did not work out. <a href="https://www.smartboardsanddumbbells.com/post/red-flags-white-lies-gaslighting-warning-signs-of-narcissistic-abuse-i-wish-i-never-ignored" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">It took me a while to realize that our relationship was a lot more than just toxic and to admit to myself and others that I actually had been abused</a>  emotionally, psychologically, and, on more than one occasion, physically over the course of nearly a decade. In the aftermath/the termination of our relationship, my ex continued to control and maintain power over me by denying that the dog was mine and claiming full ownership to him. He called all of the shots regarding Bernie without asking me how I felt or waiting for my permission, and any time I would mention that he was my gift, he would threaten me. “What are you gonna do about it? Take me to court?” he’d ask. Knowing full well that I did not think I had the means.  As a New York City public school teacher, this year has already been extremely taxing due to the nature of teaching during a pandemic. In addition to the trauma that comes with that, I have also been dealing with a lawsuit. Ironically, he—my abuser— is now suing me in property court for Bernie, who is my heart and soul. He is claiming that I stole his property, completely denying that Bernie was my birthday gift, and making many other allegations that are downright lies and a smear campaign against me in what I truly believe is an attempt to continue to manipulate, abuse, and control me.  On more than one occasion, my ex was unable to control his anger towards not just me, but the dog as well. Because Bernie and his wellbeing mean the entire world to me, I cannot in good consciousness just let my abuser keep the dog- who was given to me as a gift- and move on with my life and healing without them both. Instead, I recently hired a lawyer to help me deal with the matter so that I can continue to heal and move on in peace with Bernie, nurturing him with the patience and unconditional love he deserves. The retainer is $5,000.  I know that times are extremely tough for everyone right now due to the pandemic so I struggled internally with whether or not to create this fundraiser but any small amount towards this retainer would really go a long way in helping me, a single public school teacher living in NYC, cover the costs of getting her dog back and finally being set free from her abuser for good. It would certainly help ease quite a burden- allowing me the privilege of having one less thing to worry about so that I can continue to devote myself to my incredible students and love of my life, Bernie. Should I meet and/or surpass my goal of paying for the legal fees, I plan on splitting the rest of the funds between the moving-related debt that I incurred after my abusive ex abandoned/ discarded me in the midst of the lockdown and donations to  organizations that help survivors/victims of domestic violence. These organizations are especially important now, when many victims have no choice but to live with their abusers due to circumstances beyond their control such as job loss that resulted from the pandemic/quarantine.

Riley Gubbini

Doug Carnes

Lucas Olson

Norman Reifsnyder

Anonymous

Alexa Gorman

David Feavearyear

George Gucake 

Una Frawley

Christine  Sever 

Anita Malhotra

Anna  Bershan

Shanur Tohfaz

Help Teacher Pay Back Legal Fees After Losing Dog

Help Teacher Pay Back Legal Fees After Losing Dog

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