<div>Hey Friends &amp; Family,
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<div>This year has been pretty hard, as many know, and I know many have gone through similar struggles. That makes it even harder to ask for help. But after my mother asked to set one up for me, and after taking the idea to my community and friends, I’ve decided to make this GoFundMe.
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<div>On June 25th, I lost someone very important and special to me.
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<div>At the same time a pretty rare opportunity has also presented itself—one that has a timeline, but also comes at a terrible time for me. I’d like to explain this very unique circumstance.
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<div>Noctis was my F1 Savannah, a gift I bought for myself after beating cancer. I don’t really indulge myself much, but a local breeder I followed on IG reached out to me offering me a baby. I took him into my life thinking this would be a once in a lifetime moment. I have adopted babies, rehomed them, and taken care of animals in need. I’ve donated time to animal shelters and even an aviary. However, it goes without saying: if you can afford something and you work hard, every now and then it’s okay to get something you’ve dreamed of.
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<div>I’ve been through so much in my 10 years of content creation, and for once, I let myself have something I felt I deserved after so many years of hard work.
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<div>Noctis was my best friend, my companion, and the highlight of every day. Savannah love is a different kind of love—very much like a puppy’s. I don’t expect everyone to understand. I grew up with dogs, but I know they require walks and runs, and with my busy schedule, I needed to be responsible. Savannahs are like dogs in a cat’s body—but they use litter boxes ^.^ Playing fetch in the house and running around was enough stimulation for him.
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<div>The morning of June 25th at 5 a.m. PST, I heard a loud crash outside. It nearly shook my house.
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<div>Panicked, I ran downstairs to figure out what happened. My outside table was knocked over, along with some chairs. I opened the door for a brief second to check, and Noctis bolted.
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<div>Seconds later, I heard sounds of him struggling. I ran to where he had taken off—around the corner of my house. There he was, fighting a coyote. The only thing I could think to do was chase it. The coyote grabbed Noctis by the neck and ran away with him. I chased them up the street until it finally dropped him in the middle of the road.
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<div>I gently picked him up and rushed him inside. I didn’t know what to do, but at that point, nothing could have saved him. After calling for help, my friends, and my ex, Noctis died in my arms 15 minutes later.
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<div>I struggled with the thought that he was gone. I’m lucky to have had a friend nearby who offered to bring him to the vet with me to see if he could be saved. They cleaned him up, let me say goodbye, and helped me schedule his memorial. I’m also glad his last moments were in my arms and in the comfort of his own home. &lt;3
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<div>And this is where I'm really struggling now.
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<div>Besides blaming myself for what happened, my wifey and I decided to separate. Moving out and taking our Maine Coon with her (it's her baby).
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<div>Losing my family from one month to the next was incredibly difficult and while, outside of what happened, I am the happiest I have been in years, bringing a new baby into my home would bring me more joy than I can tell you.
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<div>My Maine Coon breeder saw the memories I shared on IG after losing Noctis. They reached out to a breeder who was moved by my story and offered to give me a new baby they were originally going to keep themselves.
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<div>If I was to take in the new baby, I would have to give a deposit now to assure them I'm interested, and the rest on arrival which would be soon.
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<div>For the past weeks I've been working on a subathon to raise money for booths at San Japan and TwitchCon when this opportunity fell into my lap. I’ve spent the last 48 hours being excited, crying, struggling to figure out the best way to approach this. And while it's hard for me to admit, I'm not in the best position after absorbing most of the housing costs since becoming single.
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<div>I’ve never done this before, so I’m incredibly nervous. Anytime I’ve needed something, I’ve worked hard for it myself. I grew up poor and sometimes homeless, and I’ve learned to survive on my own. Even when I became a Vtuber—despite depression and nearly giving up—I took on commissions and worked hard to get everything on track for my debut. I’m proud of my strength, and I wish I was in a better place. I’m so close to being where I need to be &lt;3 I just need a little more time.
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<div>Pushing Vtubing, growing, and meeting all of you was exactly what I needed. I’ve made amazing friends who give me the strength to keep going. I have companies that actually care about me and want to see me thrive. Thank you so much, GamerSupps and Cooler Master &lt;3
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<div>Before Vtubing, I nearly gave up content creation.
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<div>All the experiences—being signed to esports teams, then being dropped like I was nothing pushed me away from it. Friends coming around when I averaged 1k viewers but disappearing when I took a break and my numbers dropped. Companies “needing” art but failing to pay, or taking advantage of my kindness by paying the bare minimum, hoping a “shoutout” would be enough… but never delivering.
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<div>When I debuted in December, I stopped doing art as my primary income. I’ve done art here and there, but I haven’t taken payment because I wanted to build myself in the community first. I’ve switched careers several times now, so I’m used to the drops, the climbs and I will get to where need to be.
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<div>All I can promise right now is once I’m back on my feet, the $9k I raise from this GoFundMe will be put back into a shelter when the time comes, or used to help someone else in need—whether that’s animal medical bills or something similar.
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<div>Her name is Bonya. She’s two and a half months old, and she’s a single litter. Little lone cat girl, just like me &lt;3 I can’t explain how right this feels—and in a way, she’s already mine.
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<div>Bonya is her birth name! so you'll have to help me re-name her!
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<div>If you’d like to support but aren’t comfortable donating, I’d be more than willing to take on commissions from you! We can still put the donation here &lt;3 Just reach out via DM and we’ll set it up—please check my pricing on my website first.
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<div>Please be kind. I know how some people feel about not adopting.
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<div>I’d really love a second chance, and I hope you can understand. I wasn’t ready to lose my baby, and this baby also needs a good home. She will have the best home &lt;3
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<div>Thank you to those who took the time to read everything, and thank you so much to everyone for the last seven months. I honestly haven’t felt this happy with streaming in years, and it comes with a heavy heart to ask this of anyone. 
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<div>Your generosity—whether it’s a donation, a share, or even a kind word—means the world to me. I love and adore you all.
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<div>/Suto
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