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On April 9th, while coming home on my bike from work at Snap Courier, I was struck head on by an SUV driving the wrong way down a one-way street. I went up and over the hood of the vehicle, shattering the windshield. In the hospital, after several x-rays and a CT scan, I was incredibly fortunate to not have any broken bones or spine or neck injuries. I am not all okay though, and am still being with both physical and psychological issues as a result. This is the 4th time in the past 6 years in which I have been sent to the hospital as a result of the collision with a vehicle, in addition to countless incidents over the past 14 years since I first moved to Chicago that could be resolved on the spot. I have never before had any issues with taking a few days of rest and then getting back on my bike, but this one is different. I am still not physically 100%, and emotionally I am struggling with the fallout of this traumatic experience. Here I am, over 3 weeks later, and my bike still sits at Comrade awaiting pickup. I have no interest in riding my bike again, and quite frankly the thought of it terrifies me and fills me with anxiety.
I love to ride my bike. It has been the main means of transportation for the vast majority of my time in Chicago. I have worked on my bike in one way or another for over 10 years. But now? I can't. It's too much right now. Seeing the shattered windshield and knowing my body is burned into my mind. It makes me think of how lucky I have been in the past, and how my luck is certain to run out. I feel like if I have nine lives, eight of them have been spent. Cyclists on the streets of Chicago live a dangerous life, and those that do it for a living put their well being in so many people's hands every day. Right now, it's hard to not feel as if a major catastrophe for me is an issue of "when, not if." Because of this fear an anxiety, I am unable to return to work at Snap Courier. I'm afraid to pick up my bike right now, let alone ride it for 4-5 hours a night at work.
2021 has been a whirlwind for me, I'm sure it has continued to be for many of you all. There has been good: I started grad school. I'm doing well and I absolutely love it. The school I sub at part time, Francis Parker, not only gives me work, but has helped me be certain of my journey towards becoming a teacher, as well as making me feel like a member of the "Parker Family." It's easy to look at my schooling and my work in a school and think that my future is bright.
But there has also been plenty of bad. In January, just as grad school started, my marriage came to an end. The amount of hurt that I feel from that is something that I wish on no one. I lost a lot that day, and I feel like I've only just begun to rebuild the past few weeks. My cat Snips continues to have ongoing health issues. He take daily medications, has to endure biannual blood testing, and the past week has been eating less than normal. His behavior is relatively "normal" (for him, at least), but the appetite change is scary. I'm leaving Chicago at the end of the month, and I am not really happy about it. Illinois is a great school, and in the grand scheme of things was probably my best option, but I never wanted to leave. Now I have to do so alone.
So in the span of roughly 3 months, I lost a family, I went through the windshield of an SUV, I lost a job and over half of my income, I have a cat - whom I love more than anything and already has health issues - beginning to act strangely, and I'm going to have to leave my city, my home soon.
I feel awful asking for help. But for all the positive things I have to look forward to, it's hard not to feel broken at this moment in time. So I'm putting my ego aside and humbly asking for help through this uncomfortable and scary transition. I need help to makeup for lost income from being unable to ride, make ends meet the rest of my time here in Chicago, have a safe and comfortable transition back to Central Illinois, pay for bike repairs so I can try to put this behind me and ride again, and for any other unexpected expenses that may pop up as a result of my, or Snips' medical needs.
I know time are tough for us all, and I am thankful for each and every one of you. School will only be a year, and I'll be back. I can't wait to come back to Chicago and make a difference in students' lives. It is what I was meant to do and I am thankful I am still around to make that calling come true.
I love to ride my bike. It has been the main means of transportation for the vast majority of my time in Chicago. I have worked on my bike in one way or another for over 10 years. But now? I can't. It's too much right now. Seeing the shattered windshield and knowing my body is burned into my mind. It makes me think of how lucky I have been in the past, and how my luck is certain to run out. I feel like if I have nine lives, eight of them have been spent. Cyclists on the streets of Chicago live a dangerous life, and those that do it for a living put their well being in so many people's hands every day. Right now, it's hard to not feel as if a major catastrophe for me is an issue of "when, not if." Because of this fear an anxiety, I am unable to return to work at Snap Courier. I'm afraid to pick up my bike right now, let alone ride it for 4-5 hours a night at work.
2021 has been a whirlwind for me, I'm sure it has continued to be for many of you all. There has been good: I started grad school. I'm doing well and I absolutely love it. The school I sub at part time, Francis Parker, not only gives me work, but has helped me be certain of my journey towards becoming a teacher, as well as making me feel like a member of the "Parker Family." It's easy to look at my schooling and my work in a school and think that my future is bright.
But there has also been plenty of bad. In January, just as grad school started, my marriage came to an end. The amount of hurt that I feel from that is something that I wish on no one. I lost a lot that day, and I feel like I've only just begun to rebuild the past few weeks. My cat Snips continues to have ongoing health issues. He take daily medications, has to endure biannual blood testing, and the past week has been eating less than normal. His behavior is relatively "normal" (for him, at least), but the appetite change is scary. I'm leaving Chicago at the end of the month, and I am not really happy about it. Illinois is a great school, and in the grand scheme of things was probably my best option, but I never wanted to leave. Now I have to do so alone.
So in the span of roughly 3 months, I lost a family, I went through the windshield of an SUV, I lost a job and over half of my income, I have a cat - whom I love more than anything and already has health issues - beginning to act strangely, and I'm going to have to leave my city, my home soon.
I feel awful asking for help. But for all the positive things I have to look forward to, it's hard not to feel broken at this moment in time. So I'm putting my ego aside and humbly asking for help through this uncomfortable and scary transition. I need help to makeup for lost income from being unable to ride, make ends meet the rest of my time here in Chicago, have a safe and comfortable transition back to Central Illinois, pay for bike repairs so I can try to put this behind me and ride again, and for any other unexpected expenses that may pop up as a result of my, or Snips' medical needs.
I know time are tough for us all, and I am thankful for each and every one of you. School will only be a year, and I'll be back. I can't wait to come back to Chicago and make a difference in students' lives. It is what I was meant to do and I am thankful I am still around to make that calling come true.
Organizer
