Help me, pay for a computer so I can play Valorant

Hi my name is Nathan, and yes I am a selfish person. Unlike my brothers, I am willing to do anything for money. Patrick claims he has standards and wont betray his traditions, Michael doesn't believe in the free market and refuses to partake in such games, and Angelo says my adherence to capital is bigoted. So anyways I am asking for money so I truly help the person most in need of help.... Myself. 

p.s this is only 50% a shitpost
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