Hi I'm Liz Rennolds, a 40 year old daughter, wife, and mother of two beautiful children. I am trying to raise money so that I may finally achieve mental health.My Story
Looking back on my life I realize that I was always an overly anxious child, but at the age of 15 I started having panic attacks and my mental health rapidly deteriorated. Since then I have suffered from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), agoraphobia, and panic attacks, and periods of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
Since then I have been treated by many psychologists, therapists, and numerous psychiatrists. I have always been on medications since age 15, and have been prescribed a phenomenal number of different combinations of medications, as my psychiatrists have searched for the right combination to help me live a normal life. I did have one outstanding psychiatrist in Windsor, Ontario, Canada, called Dr Jwely, who did come close to curing me, but unfortunately he moved to a different job at a teaching hospital in Manitoba.
I have for a couple of very short periods of my life felt somewhat better, but have never been free enough from anxiety to lead a normal life. I have been able to work at times full-time, but mostly part-time, and at the age of 38 I managed to complete a college diploma.The Worst Was Yet To Come
In July 2017 my whole family and I moved back to the UK, after living in Canada for 13 years, and in September of the same year I became extremely depressed, a completely new mental health problem for me. Initially it was extremely difficult to receive any mental health care, but thanks to the sheer persistence of my family I eventually got to see a psychiatrist and for a little while things gradually seemed to get better. However, my depression soon started to rapidly worsen, and as I only see my psychiatrist once every three months and he is almost impossible to reach in the interim, I am left feeling hopeless with nowhere to turn for help.
Many times over the years I have struggled with anxiety I have been turned away from hospitals when I have felt completely desperate and unable to cope because I was not deemed to be a threat to myself or other people, and so they said there was nothing they could do for me.
Well now here I am 25 years after this whole nightmare started; anxious, severely depressed and with a suicide plan that I must fight every day not to implement, so surely now I will be helped because I am a threat to myself. No, I still have to go a month between psychiatrist visits, and attend counselling which I feel I am not able to process just now. The help my counsellor offered was a referral to the crisis team who I saw initially when my depression started. This involved a nurse visiting for about 15 minutes once a day and telling me to go for walks, this was at a time when my husband was working 12-14 hour days and I was alone all day and unable, due to my anxiety to leave the house alone.Sorry the back story was so long!! How these funds can help me recover
I have found, online, an awesome place of healing in Thailand. It is called the Dawn, and it offers an amazing 28 day healing program for anxiety and depression. It is tailored to each individual and includes Western and Eastern treatment methods. I had a long telephone conversation with a lovely gentleman who explained to me how they could help me recover. You can visit their website here: https://thedawnrehab.com
I researched a great number of residential treatment programs, but found this to be by far the cheapest for the treatments offered, the level of support, and the length of stay.Breakdown of How Money Will be Spent:
Cost of the 28 day treatment program - £9,000
I have also been advised that Description Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS)
is extremely effective for depression and would benefit me greatly. This is the only treatment that comes at an additional cost, which is £800 for 10 sessions - £800
Return flight from the UK to Chiang Mai , Thailand -£700
(approx)What Being Mentally Healthy Would Mean to Me
My anxiety has caused me to miss out on many opportunities I have had in my life. Initially it caused me to lose many friends who could not understand why I was too anxious to go out and do ordinary everyday things with them. It caused me to drop out of university after the first year of my law degree, because I was too anxious to focus on study, and attend lectures, and seminars. I could not even reach the law section of the library, as I was too afraid to go up to the fourth floor because it was too far from an exit.
It has held me back from being able to apply for jobs that I would have loved, and has meant that I have had to quit many jobs I have had, as I became unable to go to work because of my anxiety. It has caused financial hardship for my family, as we have often had to survive on just my husbands low wages. It has caused extreme stress, and sadness for my parents and husband.
Since I have become depressed I have become a different person, who struggles to think clearly, or have the energy to do many simple things. I do work part-time, but find I am always drained and am unable to think positively. I have isolated myself from my friends and even become distant from my family.
Do not get me wrong, my life has not always been doom and gloom. I met and married my wonderfully supportive husband, and have had two beautiful, happy, and healthy children. I have lived in Canada for 13 years and have managed to travel a little to some beautiful places. I have also made some wonderful, caring, and loyal understanding friends.
However, being mentally healthy would mean everything to me. It would enable me to be a better daughter, wife, and mother. It would give me the freedom to fulfil my wish of gaining a university degree and enable me to gain a good job and bring greater financial stability to my family. It would give me the freedom to become the real me once again, and to live a normal life free from constant anxiety and sadness.How You Can Help
I understand that many of my wonderful family and friends may not be in the financial position to be able to contribute money, but please share my campaign on all your social media platforms and with as many of your connections as possible. Every donation no matter how small will be a great help, and I believe that somehow my dream of mental health will be achieved.Thank you all so much. I love you guys.