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Help get Myia to safety

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Help get Myia to safety

A quick thank you and consideration….
We appreciate your care and interest in Myia’s story and why we need your help to get our precious girl to a healthy environment. Domestic violence and sexual abuse are raw and profoundly disturbing subjects. Sharing Myia’s story is deeply personal and emotional for all involved and potentially triggering for people reading. We understand that sharing this information could affect Myia in the future, but we have reached a point where we need to ask for help to prevent her from any further harm. A few of our close confidants know of this situation, and now as we share this information to you all as part of our community, we ask that you please be delicate, respectful, and discretionary with it for fear of retaliation. Please also continue to raise awareness, practice empathy, and educate yourselves/others to combat indicators of as well as perpetrators of abuse in the future. Thank you.

Get to know Myia:
Just over eight years ago, Myia precariously entered this world by emergency Caesarian birth. We felt blessed beyond words that she was delivered safely. She had a tough start being premature with a low birth weight and consistently trying to “catch up” to an average health and nutrition. She quickly exhibited a “tiny warrior” attitude that helped her persevere to the “sweet survivor” she remains to this day. We truly love her more with each day that passes.
One of the many things that make Myia special is that she demonstrates kindness and empathy to a degree that is truly inspiring and somewhat unusual for her age group. Her interest in sharing her loving heart is displayed through acts of kindness like delivering food we’ve prepared together to our neighbors, creating “Thinking of You” cards for isolated nursing home residents and family members, and her exuberance in leaving positive messages in chalk drawings outside of our apartment building so other residents will smile and be happy. The list can go on and on. Myia is also a typical 8-year-old who is a wonderful dancer, gymnast, vocalist, and an imaginative artist. Her talent is admirable, and her passion and love are unparalleled. We can only hope that her art and love continue throughout her life.
As you read about Myia, I’m sure you may think “well this is all wonderful, what could be the issue?”……
We’d like to point out that many of these activities, which seem fairly average, can also be blatant “people-pleasing” tendencies or “fawning” which are coping mechanisms for trauma. Myia needs to exhibit and focus on outlets like the activities listed above, and others, because much joy is being diminished and erased from her life due to the abuse she has continually endured from her father and his family.

Our Story/Background:
We have been battling daily over the course of seven years for Myia’s safety. After our first year with Myia, I (Julianna) was able to identify some of Thomas’ abusive behaviors and find the strength to separate from the relationship. As most domestic abusers do, Thomas grew extremely angry and vindictive. He began to take revenge on Myia after our breakup, as she was his most effective pathway to me. The evidence of the physical, psychological, and sexual abuse of Myia by her father and his family has been dreadful and atrocious. While the abuse began somewhat subtly, with Myia coming home with markings or inappropriate information regarding her body for her age, to mention only a small amount, it has now transformed into a mass behavioral manipulation of Myia by threatening death to her, to me and her grandmother in order to make her tell lies to her counselor, at least one doctor, to DCYF and to school personnel regarding her safety and access to food at my home, among other things. Myia has been coming home to me and my mom with overwhelming and debilitating anxiety for her, her grandmother’s, and my safety. We have found that she cannot even say my name or her grandmother’s name at her father’s house without punishment and abusive consequences. Not only does Myia have to sincerely fear for her life, but she feels the overwhelming burden to keep me and her grandmother “Nini” alive by “fawning” to her father and his family’s wishes while being instructed to act as if “everything is fine” to outsiders, or she and we will suffer his diabolical and graphically described consequences. Let me tell you, one of her many talents is now acting and with the motivation of fear instilled by her father, we know she’ll put on the show for as long as she feels she needs to protect herself and us. Unfortunately, the continual miscarriage of justice and blindness of many professionals within the field and system has created an endless cycle of allowing Myia to be in harm’s way enough to perpetuate the abuse and continue to weaken her mental and physical health. It’s truly heart wrenching to have to fight all my motherly instincts to share custody with her abuser and hand her over to him by law. To clarify, there have been 7 cases or more filed against Thomas and/or his family members with DCYF (The Department of Health and Human Services Division for Youth and Families). All cases have been mishandled due to bias or preferential treatment, blatant lack of actual investigation by all charged with doing so, or one or two small loopholes each time, and the mishandling resulting in the judge simply dismissing the case worker for two of the cases, as well as her supervisor, and another case worker being fired during the process. But this was not enough to protect Myia. As many of you may know, the justice system has a long and slow working process, there are an extreme number of systemic issues such as bias, misogyny, and racism, as well as the need to have a case be “perfect” in order to derive a desired/safe outcome. We still strive every day to find the right resources and evidence to give Myia the justice she deserves in a fair, impartial, “flawless” case. No child should ever have to endure what she has, and still is.

Our situation/Key details:

On October 7th, 2021, Thomas took Myia out of school early after maliciously lying to her counselor about her weight and supposed lack of wellbeing during a phone call, and stated those same lies to DCYF shortly after, who apparently advised him to take Myia to the pediatrician for a weight check. This progressed to his calling her pediatrician’s office and also lying to them in order to obtain an appointment for her under false pretenses. He additionally did so in contempt, since he is court mandated to receive approval and/or notify me of all such medical attention for her, which he did not. Once there, Thomas had clearly previously coached Myia to speak numerous, unbearable lies about me, to a doctor she had never seen before. (He has been “practicing” this means of control with her for quite some time, creating intense stress for her in not wanting to ever be dishonest.) He boldly explained to the doctor that Myia had lost 5 pounds during her 3 days of parenting time with me that week. The visit notes document her weight at 50.7 pounds on the 7th, officially at 4.7 pounds greater than the “46 pounds” Thomas had stated Myia weighed the night before…and he told the doctor she had “gained it back last night when he fed her because she was starving” upon her transfer to him.
Well, Thomas was not aware that I have 2 current date/time stamped photographs of Myia being weighed at my home. On Sunday October 3, 2021 the scales showed her at 50.6 pounds, and then 51 pounds on Wednesday October 6, 2021, mere minutes prior to transferring her to her father, and even more than at her doctor’s appointment the next day. Which means she in fact lost some weight overnight with him rather that his fake report of gaining 5 pounds back. Unfortunately, I have learned to log this and other information over time to ensure I have evidence to defend myself as a mother, due to the unrelenting attempts Thomas and his family have attempted to prove me as an unfit mother neglecting her child. He is so deeply unstable that much of what he accuses me of is a mirror image of what he is or has perpetrated himself…termed projection.

Also very telling is that the new doctor from the October 7th visit with her father reported Myia’s behavior of many handstands, while being unaware that this is a go-to activity of release for Myia under extreme stress. Additionally, her vital signs included her heart rate of 156 (much more than double her normal rate), another clear signal of anxiety, and this was indicated as ABNORMAL. We can only assume that this extreme behavior and medical inconsistency was produced by the deception Myia was forced to present to the doctor that day against her will.

The same day as the doctor’s visit, Thomas had instructed Myia to continue to tell other lies about me to her corrupt counselor, whom I had fired a month earlier verbally with her supervisor, and again that day in writing, instructing that she and the counseling center no longer be a part of Myia’s therapy due to her/their obvious bias and unprofessional behaviors. The counselor and Thomas had apparently planned to have Myia “expose” me that afternoon, so that the counselor would have a reason to report Myia’s involuntary disclosures to DCYF and begin a case against me, with the focus on discrediting me to fulfill Thomas’ demented vengeance. Both obviously ignored that her presence was illegal in having Myia’s session that day, as well as their monumental disregard for any semblance of the truth.

This sequence of illicit events resulted in Thomas submitting an emergency request for an Ex Parte to the court the next day, on October 8th. This request consisted entirely of falsehoods, such as numerous “disclosures” by Myia about me to DCYF, and a false claim that DCYF had asked that I only be allowed “supervised visitation with DCYF present, or no visitation”. He also fabricated that DCYF told him to request a GAL, or Guardian Ad Litem, which for some reason he has been obsessed with getting for over two years now. DCYF is not allowed to give legal advice. I have confirmed with the DCYF case worker that he added more supposed disclosures in his paperwork that were not actually reported, and that other statements were not actually suggested by DCYF. This means that his request/case was an entire Ex Parte’s worth of lies to the court. But somehow, he asked for sole custody and decision making, and received it without question.

On October 15th, we had a court hearing by telephone and to this day we are waiting for the judge to review and make his decision about the case.

Since the Ex Parte two and a half weeks ago, Thomas has not allowed any visitation or communication what-so-ever between Myia and me or her grandmother “Nini”. We have never gone so much as 48 hours without speaking to each other before this. My family and I are so terribly worried for Myia’s safety and what the constraint of not talking to her mother is doing to Myia’s health. We’re very scared of the outcome of this case and afraid of the abuse and harm Myia is enduring while she is court mandated to be with her abuser 24-7. I can only imagine, with intense horror, what he’s said to her to justify his very unstable behavior, and how alone she must be feeling. He is certainly getting ample time to brainwash her even further. Thank God she has somewhat of a safe space at school with her friends.

It has been three weeks tomorrow since we’ve heard her voice, and three weeks since we saw her and did our usual group hug and supportive talk before she went with him. She gets completely frantic, panicky, and stalls however she can think of when it’s time to go to her father’s. All this deeply emotional pain is because of a severely manipulative, controlling, angry, and diabolical individual who’s knows how to disguise himself as a caring parent when it’s necessary to appear stable. His many years of practice at this has created a monster to deal with. Even one of his former attorneys stated nearly those exact words when withdrawing representation of him. His second one quit, as well. And this account you’re reading is merely one plot he has devised and conducted, though the worst yet. It would take volumes to share even a portion of his consistent maltreatment of the three of us over the years.

After finally identifying Thomas as a domestic abuser of me, Myia, and my mother during my testimony at the hearing on October 15th, I asked the judge to please STOP THE CYCLE OF ABUSE, to give Myia a chance at a healthy childhood in every way… but as a baseline, we want her free from her father’s coaching, threatening, gaslighting, and manipulation tactics. She desperately needs to have her choices returned to her.

We look forward to, hopefully soon, being with Myia again - talking with her, hugging her, and telling her how very much we love and have missed her. We want to give her the freedom to think, feel, draw, sing, dance, do handstands, create art, and act like a typical 8-year-old as she pleases. She needs to have her physical, psychological, and emotional autonomy back without fear of severe, unjustified, abusive consequence.

We have hope that her abuse will come to an end, yet we know realistically that faith alone cannot win this battle. We need to escalate the urgency and need for help to remove her father from harming her further.

Why we need your help:

Our reason for revealing such an incredibly personal story is because we have come to a point where we must ask for and receive help in the form of financial aid for a professional attorney to gain Myia’s freedom from Thomas’ persistent and brutal abuse. We hope that you understand the immediacy and necessity for funds to retain a lawyer for her sake - for her life. Myia has so much potential to offer the world and those of you who know her know that she is undeniably special. Seven years of suffering is long enough, she needs to heal. We tremendously appreciate that you have cared enough to read this and will be eternally grateful for any donations you are comfortable making to support Myia. Thank you in advance.


Julianna and Carol (“Nini”) Garron

Fundraising team (1)

Julianna Marie Garron
Organizer
Manchester, NH
Carol Garron
Team member
Raised $1,310 from 12 donations

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