Help Fund The Hillside Commons

Howdy, I'm Hunter. I'm 26 years old. I live back in the woods in northern New Jersey. I like to call myself the bookmaker, as I run an online library called The Hillside Commons (click that to go to the website). To keep it simple, a few years ago I went insane and proceeded to make so many fiction books that I found myself not only sane again, but also overwhelmed with the urge to live. In other words: I hit rock bottom and found my way back through creative writing, and now that I'm back, I'd like to go somewhere and find/build a place where I can continue my work and help others do their work, too.
 
What I Have Done
  • Single-handedly written and self-published over 1,000,000 words of fiction without using the words "people" nor "person" a single time
  • Realized my writing doesn't neatly fit into one genre and thus invented a new one: psychephrenic gonzo
  • Released bookmaker's cut editions of my longer overarching stories The Highest One Writing and The Fall of the Seven Earths. These include all the books in each series collected into one book and presented in a novel way, and there will be more of these when I complete more overarching stories
  • Built an online library where print-replica PDFs of all of my books are available to download for free. Additionally, I sell autographed copies of the books at different tiers through the website and I do a 2-a-week blog series called The Bookmaker's Note in which I give updates about my work in a creative way
 
What I Need To Do Now (the $20,000 goal)
  • Pay off my student loan, which I didn't actually use because I withdrew from college due to mental health concerns. I was going for psychology too, hah. Roughly $11,000 left on that
  • Pay off my credit card. Roughly $4,000ish there at the moment
  • Fix my car, a 2013 Nissan Sentra named Bessy (new hood, new front bumper, new right headlight/blinker fluid refill). I have no idea what this will cost, as I am the bookmaker, and cars go vroom
  • Pay my parents back the $1,000 they loaned me, plus the extra $1,000 I promised them for doing so
  • Pay my brother back the $150 he loaned me, plus the extra $150 I promised him for doing so
  • Put some goddamn money in my goddamn bank account so I don't need to keep goddamn using that goddamn credit card so goddamn much, gosh darn'it
 
What I Want To Do ASAP (beyond the $20,000 goal)
  • Move out of my parents' attic so they can find some normalcy in life, and also so I can up my bookmaking game, and also so I can no longer live in my parents' attic please
  • Find other potentially psychephrenic individuals and take them under my wing so they might be able to find their sanity without having to lose it first like I did
  • Make as many crossover projects with other creators as physically possibly
 
What I Want To Do as ASAP as Possible (far beyond the $20,000 goal)
  • Purchase a physical location in a reasonably isolated mountainous woodland area with a nearby lake where I will build a facility, a library, a creative's guild of sorts - a proper bookmaker's compound - and continue my bookmaking operation there
  • Build a large and sprawling arboretum-esque thing in the forest around the compound and use it to inspire any creators who might happen to be on the grounds at any given moment
  • Procure proper bookmaking hardware so I can exert complete and total control over the making of my books (and the books of the other creators I hope to enlist in this blatant crusade I've got going on here)
  • Eventually add other creative facilities to the main library. These will hopefully include a recording studio, a painting studio, a sculpting studio, a film studio, a uh... an x studio, a y studio, and even a z studio, too
  • Even a z studio, too...!
  • Invite other crazy creators to do what they do best in a space designed by a crazy creator for crazy creators specifically, y'know, to see how crazy we can get with this thing! Let's see what we can make, folks! It's gonna be strange, but by god I say we should make it!

Other Stuff You Might Need To Know
  • My work will always be "have it for free, buy if you like"
  • It's too early to know how yet, but if you contribute, you will be recognized for doing so in some way when I am able to appropriately do so
  • I formed an LLC a few years ago (Repurpp LLC) and registered The Hillside Commons as a doing business as name, and I have every intention of conducting business legitimately and doing what I can to benefit the community in which I operate
  • The name The Hillside Commons came from a camping spot on the side of a hill in the woods up at the end of my road. There are four more camping spots dispersed throughout those woods. The coolest one is called The Eagle's Nest and I go there to read and write fairly often. Nobody knows who builds them, but they're all connected by the various trails that run through the area. This is also where the inspiration for the arboretum-esque thing I'd like to build came from
  • The initials of The Hillside Commons are THC, which I did not realize until about a year after I should have
  • Before I evolved into the bookmaker, I was in a very dark place. Now that I have become the bookmaker, that dark place has been thoroughly illuminated. What I'm trying to say is that suicide has been off the table for a solid while now, which is another reason I'm doing The Hillside Commons. If I can find so much purpose and joy and life in writing fiction, in creating in general... why couldn't someone else? Why shouldn't someone else? Why should anybody who would benefit from doing what I do - who needs help in the same way that I needed help - not be able to do it? Don't kill yourself, just make a book instead!
  • It literally works! I was the guinea pig and it worked! If it didn't work, you would not be reading this! Like, zoinks!
  • I think it's pretty clear that I'm not bookmaking for the money, but realistically, I can't keep going the way I've been going if I'm going to be scraping against the pavement the way I've been scraping as of late. I have the work half of this bookmaking thing down, see, I have the work half down pat! I've put 4 years into this thing and I've nailed the work part down tight to the floor. All I need is the money, that tool for the creation of a creative space... so why not give it to me?

My story... if you're curious.

I don't want to get into the specifics, but uh, I was in a pretty bad place a few years ago. Suicide was the plan B when plan A didn't work out, and I used the word "when" right there for a reason: there was no plan A. I was purposeless and lost and a general waste of space and that made me feel pretty bad all the time. On the whole, felt pretty bad all the time back then. But, that's not all: I was also rapidly losing my grip on the ledge of reality. Again, not trying to get toooo into it, but at one point I thought I was legitimately possessed by an actual demon, and that was only after I accidentally exorcised said demon.
 
Uh.
 
Look, I'm not going to split hairs, I don't have a diagnosis, don't need one now, but at that point in my life I probably could have gotten one. Probably could have used one, or rather, I could have used some kind of help. I needed help, like, really, really bad. There was self-harm and psychotic breakdowns and holes punched clean through the sheetrock, it wasn't pretty. I needed help and I found myself alone... with a crossbow... and ammunition... that was really easy to load and fire... constantly waiting... in the attic crawlspace... next to my bed... literally... in constant... arm's... reach... every... unending... miserable... fucking... night...
 
...but the crossbow wasn't the only thing on my mind. I also had a bunch of short stories written up on my computer, short stories that were all interconnected and were meant to link into a novel I was planning on writing eventually when I could. So eventually the novel happened, the stories happened, 500,000 words over 6 books total happened. They tell a tale called The Highest One Writing, the story of a crazed author told entirely through his work. The fictional crazed author's name is almost identical to my name, too. Wonder why I decided to do that. Lol.
 
SO the books were done, right, they were done! THOW starts with a self-help book about running and ends with the destruction of all of reality, and the project was done. I worked my ass off and self-published it all and did it all by myself and nobody bought it and oh god what did I do oh god why did I work so hard on myself, why did I try, why did I even fucking bother, where the FUCK is that FUCKING CROSSB
 
But then, I took pause. Look... suicide would have been easy. Just pull and squeeze, hardly a lick of skill required. There's no talent in that, there's no class. There's no respect. I did all that work, see, and the Universe, with a capital U, oh yeah, flipped me the byrd. So what could I do? I wrote a 500,000-word story about a crazed author (named after me) who is ultimately murdered by his creation in the end, and not only that, but I did as much after considering suicide as "the move" for a not-negligible chunk of my life. I was at a nexus, hypothetical reader: I could have let myself die with the old reality, or I could have changed the ending so reality wasn't merely destroyed, but reset.
 
The new reality is called The Garden. There are four astral planes: The Sandbox, Godspace, The Void, and Planet Eden. Within The Void float any number of infinite universes, four of which I have written about. They are called Universe W-63, Universe W-2222, Universe W-428, and Universe W-666. One book also takes place in The Sandbox, and I have the first book of Universe W-420 two-thirds of the way edited at the time of writing this - and now, at the time of updating this, that book is released, and it is called Sto'tryp - and here's the big plot twist: I have so much left to write. I have SO MUCH left to write! I'm over a million words in, okay, so please understand me when I say this: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SHIT YET
 
To reiterate: WHAT I HAVE DONE IS LITERALLY NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I MEAN TO DO
 
So, somewhat recently I came to the conclusion that if I want to build a library/creative's guild/whatever it is The Hillside Commons is trying to become, I'd need to make it real. In doing so, I made all my work available completely for free through my website, made my website into "the website" instead of "my website," and added a second wing, that wing being photography. It's a hobby, y'know, I'm not trying to be any kind of So-and-So here (except for the bookmaker, of course), but everything has to start somewhere. 

A musician named Joe Hawley once said that he is inspired by the "infinity dimension" of art, that is to say, the quality of a creative work to continue to get deeper the further you delve into it, the tendency of a mountain to continuously grow taller as you climb and climb towards the top. The infinity dimension is very strong in The Garden, and because The Garden went through the trouble of convincing me that life is, in fact, worth living, I would like to spend the rest of my life growing it alongside The Hillside Commons. At this stage of the game, this seems like the only decision to make; after all, what's a library without books?

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Organizer

Hunter Wallace 
Organizer
Ringwood, NJ
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