<div>I'm raising funds for my dear friend Elizabeth Land who has been thru a lot of abuse and is now trying to get her child and self out of it ... lawyer fees and well worth it in this case...
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<div>From Elizabeth:
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<div>If you are reading this, you likely know that I am sharing some of my story in an effort to
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<div>gain awareness and support for legal expenses in a custody lawsuit concerning my
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<div>eleven-year-old son. Although I left an abusive marriage in 2016, I live in a state and
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<div>county which prioritizes father’s rights. It is not impossible, but very unlikely to get a
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<div>custody order that differs from 50/50 joint custody in our county and state, regardless of
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<div>circumstances. Now that my child is older, however, he is able to speak for himself and
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<div>a judge is much more likely to listen. Earlier this year, after an unfortunate event
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<div>involving his father and paternal grandmother, my son asked for more custodial time
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<div>with me. My ex-husband has denied my son’s request, as well as my own, to amend our
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<div>custody agreement and settle out of court. We are now prepping for a lawsuit in order
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<div>that my son’s best interest can be served and his voice can be heard. None of this is
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<div>easy for me to talk about or share, but I’m doing so, after nearly ten years, in the hopes
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<div>that my son has the outcome not only that he desires, but that he deserves. In order to
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<div>share our story with context, let me back it way up for you.
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<div>One night in June of 2016 my now ex-husband and I were bickering. We had just
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<div>bought
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<div>a historic 110-year-old home with plans to fully renovate and were set to move in the
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<div>following day. At this time, our son was newly 2-years-old, I’d spent weeks coordinating
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<div>contractors and doing initial renovations at our “new” home so that it would be habitable
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<div>for our scheduled move in date and had asked my husband to book the
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<div>movers and to help with basic packing in our old home (packing up one bookcase and 
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<div>the kitchen). The night before our move, he’d yet to pack a single item and hadn’t
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<div>booked movers or a moving truck. Feeling frustrated and exhausted from handling
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<div>everything on my own for weeks, I called my husband a child. He picked up a tall
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<div>clothes hamper and hurled it across the room at me. He missed, but was inches away
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<div>from hitting our son, who was toddling nearby. It only missed him because it was caught
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<div>by a doorframe that our son had just walked through. Not long before that, he had
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<div>yelled at me so intensely that I found myself retreating across the room in fear, only
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<div>realizing that I had done so when my back hit the wall. The entire living room and two
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<div>couches lay between us before I realized what had happened and just how scared I
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<div>was. I told him he could never speak to me like that again and expressed my fear.
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<div>Nevertheless, on this night, just a few weeks later, he threw something at me, and
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<div>almost injured our child. I didn’t even recognize the man I married at this point, but I
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<div>calmly walked over and picked up my son, walked up to my husband, looked him in the
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<div>eye, and told him that if he ever did anything like that ever again, he’d never see me or
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<div>his son ever again. That night marked a formal emotional separation for us, but we
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<div>moved together into our house the next day. I was a stay-at-home mom and we’d just
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<div>entered into real debt for the first time in our marriage.
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<div>In the early days after that, I was so overwhelmed with contractors and boxes and
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<div>scared for what was to come that it actually took me a couple of weeks to decide on a
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<div>divorce. I’ll spare the details on this platform for how I came to that answer, but the
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<div>days/weeks/months after choosing that were the most petrified I’ve ever been. My
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<div>husband either quit or got fired from his job at NASA, leaving him at home with me all
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<div>day, following me around and berating me. I remember it taking me 4-5 hours each day
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<div>to get myself and my son fed and ready to leave the house because my husband was
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<div>constantly following me around and yelling at me in front of our son. With no job or
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<div>income, I felt utterly
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<div>lost and unsure of what to do or where to turn. One day, I went to a coffee shop to job
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<div>hunt when I unexpectedly ran into a friend. She was the first person outside of
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<div>immediate family who I had shared what happened with. She told me that my son and I
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<div>should move into her 1-bedroom garage apartment. And we did. I had started
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<div>babysitting as a way to get quick cash, so on December 11, 2016 I took my child and
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<div>my car full of our clothes and belongings and drove to her house. I gave her my only
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<div>$100 for rent and the next day I applied for WIC and SNAP (food stamps) while I
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<div>continued to job hunt.
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<div>People have asked me if my ex-husband ever apologized or did better. The thing is, you
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<div>have to acknowledge what happened in order to offer an apology. He refuses to
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<div>acknowledge what happened and spent over 2 years torturing me until our divorce was
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<div>eventually finalized in July of 2018. During that time he moved in with his wealthy
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<div>parents (where he still lives), filed bankruptcy on our behalf, and foreclosed on our
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<div>house. He was under a court order to pay child support, but refused to sign a divorce
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<div>settlement unless I relinquished him from paying it. When I refused to do so, he just
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<div>stopped paying until my lawyer threatened to hold him in contempt of court. He said
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<div>something to the effect of, “I hope you realize now that I’m not going to be paying child
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<div>support.” I was living in poverty at the time, but he refused to pay to support his
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<div>son—and the day that I did legally relinquish him from it, a friend of mine sent me a
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<div>social media post that he had made. He had just purchased a guitar that was $1,000
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<div>cheaper than he’d expected but somehow he couldn’t manage to afford child support. I
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<div>couldn’t afford food. Every time I requested something in our divorce, he would withhold
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<div>agreement, refusing to finalize the divorce unless I complied with his demands.
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<div>This type of force and coercion was how our entire divorce went. I couldn’t afford the
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<div>estimated $30,000 in legal fees, which he knew. So, when we disagreed he would say,
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<div>“okay. I’ll see you in court!” knowing full well that it wasn’t something I could afford. We
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<div>actually didn’t have enough debt, despite having just bought a house, to justify a
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<div>bankruptcy. However, we had recently installed a new alarm system in our marital home
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<div>and entered into a 2-year contract with that company. A contract I was very happy to
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<div>continue paying, as a newly single mom. Instead of letting me take over that contract for
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<div>the security system, so I could keep myself and my child safe, he stole the entire front
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<div>door knob/entry point to the system so that I couldn’t use it. This enabled him to default
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<div>on the contract and include the entire alarm system amount into our “debt” so that we
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<div>would reach the debt threshold so that he could file bankruptcy—something that we
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<div>absolutely did not financially need to do but effects my credit to this day. He also gave
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<div>our dog away, without warning. I simply showed up to the house one day for custody
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<div>exchange and our dog was not there. For those of you who have known me long
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<div>enough to remember our dog Eloise, she was my first baby. He literally laughed in my
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<div>face while I openly sobbed on the sidewalk as he told me that he gave her away. So no,
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<div>he never apologized; instead, he dug his heels in, and things got arguably worse. The
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<div>number of stories I could tell over the last nearly ten years would have us here all day,
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<div>so I will spare you. But, getting out of that marriage was like getting out of a gang. It was
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<div>the only time in my life I couldn’t see any light—and it nearly killed me, so I signed the
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<div>papers and legally got away from that marriage, but because of our custodial system,
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<div>my son and I have continued to be trapped in abuse. I realized at the time that I’d lost
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<div>the short-game, so I played the long-game of being a really marvelous parent, instead.
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<div>I’ve been really determined to raise a remarkable son.
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<div>I really don’t like talking about my divorce or the things that have happened since. Some
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<div>people take it as gossip fodder and honestly—I get it. But, for me it isn’t fun to discuss.
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<div>It isn’t fun to tear someone down who legally has 50% of the rights over my son. What
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<div>good and worthwhile parent can truly wish for the downfall of someone who has and
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<div>always will have such a cataclysmic impact on their child’s life? Will has not chosen
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<div>better, even all these years later. My son has missed school because he hasn’t been fed
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<div>dinner and has suffered from dehydration and illness from lack of eating. He has come
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<div>back to me in sunscreen, sand, and a bathing suit that he sat in for over 24 hours
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<div>because they couldn’t bother to make him shower and or give him clothes to change
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<div>into. He routinely can’t answer the question of the last time he brushed his teeth or
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<div>showered after having been at their house and being visibly dirty/uncared for when he
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<div>returns to me. He isn’t given his routine medicine while he’s there. The list could go on
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<div>and on. It’s extremely painful to watch how my ex-husband’s actions affected our family
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<div>and continue to affect our life. I hope that sharing some of our story helps my son now
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<div>and in the future.
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<div>Despite the hardships we have endured, I went back to school to get my masters
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<div>degree the month following our divorce being finalized in 2018. I graduated 2 years later
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<div>with a Masters in Theological Studies (Concentration in Spirituality and Social Activism)
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<div>from Vanderbilt University and started a non-profit (The PJR Collective) to help victims
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<div>of domestic violence near the end of 2023. Anyone who has started a company knows
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<div>that the first few years are the most difficult—and non-profits are no different. Suing for
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<div>custody and going to trial will likely cost me upwards of $50,000. While I do spend my
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<div>days advocating for others in court and helping others navigate the pathway after
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<div>abuse, I do not have the funds as a new non-profit director and single-mom to pay these
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<div>fees by myself (or at all). I have only shared a portion of our experience here and I know
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<div>first-hand how much worse it could be—I see it every day in my line of work. I also know
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<div>that my child and any child deserves better than this. What is litigation today will be
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<div>legislation tomorrow. I will be damned if what I have been through and what we have
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<div>been through has happened for naught and I will continue to fight not just for my own
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<div>child, but for all of our children who are in a custodial system which prioritizes ease of
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<div>jurisdiction over comfort and well-being of our children. Please consider donating so that
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<div>our voices can be heard.
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Cynthia Andriatandra

Chase Wrenn

Anonymous

Elizabeth Trenor

Candace Warren

Hattie Movitz

Katherine O'Brien

Ashley Owen

Amy Nichols

Billy Hargis

Laura G Rocha

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Samantha Ledbetter

Spencer Elliot Nessel

Help Elizabeth and Nolan!

Help Elizabeth and Nolan!

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