Help a Two Spirit Social Worker Become a Parent

Friends and future friends - please take a look at my friend's story. They have gone through a lot over the last few years including moving on from a difficult relationship and moving into their own home. There are a lot of people who love them and want to support them so I encouraged them to let me set up a fundraiser. Please consider donating so they can grow their family.

Hello All, Thank you for taking a minute to look at my story and my ask. I am a Two Spirit Social Worker and I have had a dream of being a parent since I was young. Unfortunately, health insurance does not cover fertility treatment, only diagnosing infertility. So after much convincing from friends and loved ones, I am asking for your support. I have secured a clinic that will provide in vitro fertilization (IVF). This clinic was recommended to me by my providers and they specialize in caring for patients who have had multiple miscarriages and/or have health conditions that make conception and carrying a pregnancy to term difficult. The cost for the IVF procedure, all the supplies, and travel costs are broken down below. I am hoping to raise $15k to afford the care I need. I have been selling beadwork and ribbon attire to raise funds as well. I work three jobs and am hoping to not have to continue that after I get pregnant to pay off additional medical loans so I can focus on being a parent. This is my ask and I am grateful for whatever you can share with me.

Example breakdown of costs I know so far:

IVF Package - $6,900+ (this is a specialized package through a clinic specializing in high risk IVF that is also working with my local team for monitoring and testing before and during the first 12 weeks)

Travel & Hotel - $2,500+ (airfare, hotel for 6 to up to 10 days depending on how to procedure goes, lyft's to/from facility)

Sperm (known donor who will also have to travel to do this process) collection, testing, freezing & shipping - $4,000+

Medications & Testing - $2,000+ (fertility medications range from $1500-3000 depending, do not include comfort medications, prenatal vitamins, ovulation testing, or all the supplies. Most things are not included in the actual IVF package.)

Pregnancy things, if it works, will cost more (monitoring visits, co-pays, medications, etc.)

There will likely be other costs as well but the $15k will get me a bulk of the way there. I have already saved $3k toward the cost. Anyone who donates $200+ will have the opportunity to request a pair of hand-beaded earrings and anyone who donates $500+ will be entered to win a custom ribbon skirts! All things can be shipped! I am confident in my ability to provide a good life with lots of love from many people for a little one. It’s just the up front costs of getting things going in a good way.

ADDITIONAL INFO:

Every month I apply for an IVF grant through the clinic that I am going to. It’s a lottery-style grant that I haven’t received yet but thought you might also all be interested in reading some of what I have shared for that grant to give you some more context as to my life and my journey to grow my family.

Up until last year, I had expected to start a family with my partner of 19 years. While we had a rocky relationship, I had worked very hard to get to that point. I started the process a few times but it wasn't until September of 2023 that we were able to afford IUI. I did 10 rounds of IUI with oral hormone treatment; I had one miscarriage that I know about during that time. Since we divorced, I have tried 5 times to do ICI with a friend, got pregnant and had another miscarriage. According to my doctors, the next thing would be IVF. I saved money to be able to afford treatments but when I left my partner, those funds disappeared. I have been contemplating how to move forward on my own. It's always been a dream of mine to expand my family with a little one.

Growing up with my Native community, babies have always been a part of my life. I am the oldest of many many cousins, I run early childhood and family programming, and I am a Social Worker by profession. As a Two Spirit person, my chosen family means everything to me. Many of my friends and loved ones are single parents and those are the folks I go to to make important decisions. So I talked to my people. I am lucky to have a beautiful, vibrant, and loving community around me that has encouraged me to continue on and try IVF. They will be there for me during the pregnancy and have a plan to support me through the first year of a child’s life, ensuring the new little one is wrapped in community and culture with multiple secure and loving attachments. I’ve purchased a home on my own with a lovely yard and enough space to grow my family but could use support in affording all the out of pocket expenses of actually getting pregnant.

When I first went through this process about 13 years ago, I was working with a reproductive health clinic and a personal trainer to get prepared. I did all the testing, lost weight, did all the things... Then I got into a terrible car accident. I was hit head on by a large truck in my Prius. The truck barreled through an intersection and I couldn't stop in time. My Prius was totaled. It destroyed my ability to move much for months. I was in physical therapy for over a year, three times per week. I did acupuncture twice a week and massage once a week to get my mobility back and my pain under control. My MRI and imaging showed that I had a herniated disc in my back, whiplash, a chest contusion, and a shoulder and wrist sprain. My back was the worst and so I worked hard, over years, to get to a place where I could move more freely and strengthen my core.

It took a few years, but I got all of that under control and I have a wonderful care team now that works with me to maintain my health; all of whom are thrilled with the idea of expanding my family in this way. With expenses tight, I am hoping these funds will support me on this once in a lifetime journey.