Halloween Dad Tax

For centuries, Father's have relied upon one night, one event each year, to help supplement their need for chocolatey goodness.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent each year on kiddie costumes, needless decorations, and tons of confectionaries wrapped in orange and black.  And when the calendar strikes October 31st, fathers across this great nation bundle up and walk their kids from door to door on a pilgrimage to pillage sugar filled loot from well meaning neighbors.

But due to Covid-19, (and because 2020 has ripped every other thing from humanity that is true and noble and good) communities from sea to shining sea have decided to cancel the God-given right of toddlers, tweens, and teens to demand sweet treats from strangers and faintly known do-gooders under the threat of vaguely worded tricks.

And this is where the real travesty comes in.  Dad's of all ages, shapes, and sizes depend on Halloween to collect what has come to be known as the "Dad Tax".  Because of their effort, sacrifice, and the emptying of their wallets to fund the entire Hershey created holiday, dads are entitled to a portion of each child's haul. Dads the world over depend on this tax to keep them in supply of sugar for many, many, many months.  Without Halloween (and with congress delaying the stimulus package that would fund a candy stash dads could only dream of) fathers will be left wanting and wishing for Reese Cups, Snicker Bars, and those huge tootsie rolls wrapped in three sides of cardboard made to look like a small chocolate hot dog. 

In light of all of this, I beg and plead with you to please consider donating towards the Halloween Dad Tax Fund so that this father of four may not be left wanting this holiday season.


*Please note: any funds raised will be donated to the Dare To Care in Louisville, KY  https://daretocare.org/


  • Anonymous 
    • $5 
    • 14 d
  • Laura Molling 
    • $5 
    • 14 d
  • Joshua Marshall 
    • $5 
    • 14 d


Michael Schoonover 
Jeffersonville, IN
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