Hey, my name is Willie. My mother called me Little Willie, my dad's name is Big Willie, my friends called me 'Too Much,' but my dad said, 'Come here, you little bastard,' so take your pick. I prefer Little Willie.

I was married for 23 years, and my wife died from stage 4 cancer around the first of the year. Two months after that, my mother died from a head-on collision with an eighteen-wheeler. My father died from a stroke shortly after. I've lost my whole family back to back, and I'm all alone now.

I started using crack every day to help me with the pain and depression. I'm so ashamed of what I had become and for letting this control my whole life and take everything that I had. My heart is so broken that now I feel better off dead and have made many attempts. I wish that I could see my family again to tell them how sorry I am and how much I love them. I cannot do this by myself; I don't know where to start.

With the help of God and the treatment team at Lantana Recovery, I have 30 days clean and sober now. They took us to see the Christmas trees and lights last night. My mother, my wife, and I used to go there every year. My heart was badly broken from the memories, but as the night went on, I found myself enjoying this activity once again with Lantana, especially now that I'm clean and sober. I'm doing everything these people are telling me to do, and I'm following directions. I feel my heart and soul are on the right path now in getting clean. I know my mother and wife would be proud of me. I am very thankful to Lantana and staff for their help.

I don't make any promises, but I am working to better myself and be of service to others. I know I need further treatment, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to change my attitude and thinking. I have got to do this, but I need help. I'm not going to lie; I cry every night for the Lord to not wake me up. I feel like I am not worth it. After 30 days of being clean, I now realize I am worth it. I hope to leave Lantana and transition into a sober living house in the area.

I'm graciously asking for assistance with gathering funds for sober living and would appreciate any help given. I feel like I have gained knowledge to help others suffering from this disease, but I need to get myself better first. Thanks for listening to my problems. Together we can beat this disease. Thank you again.

Sincerely,

Willie Redick