I'm Jessica Godfrey.  My Grandma is Mary Lou Sanino. My Grandmother had fall recently. This is her third fall. The first fall she broke her back, the second her pelvis in three places, and most recently her elbow. After four weeks of rehabilitation my family was informed she needs twenty four hour care and was being discharged from her inpatient rehabilitation center due to no further insurance coverage. Someone has to be with her, so I left my children, and my home to care for her. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I just dropped everything to do what I thought I should do. I didn't know that with out help I can't do what needs to be done.
When I arrived the beautiful grandma I always knew had slowly gone. She was old and I was older too. I have left my life and my loves Geovana 6, and Holland 3. It wasn't long ago I just wrapped up potty training. Ironically that's what I'm doing here. My day is full of humbling moments of which sometimes Lulu is with me and some she very much is not. I'm her caregiver but I like other humans do require sleep. I have to leave the house for errands, but cannot. I have come to the conclusion I in fact t cannot do this alone.  Her insurance dosen't cover caregivers. The only help we could find was Hospice, even with them in and out I can't run to the store, because they aren't caregivers. I thought her insurance would cover this. My grandmother was the executive secretary for Southern Pacific railroad. I figured she'd be entitled to some type of pay back for all her hard work. I was wrong!
I recently walked out to get something from my car and Lulu called a friend in her phone book. She informed them she had been alone for hours. Then soiled her bedding, and later that night wasn't too sure if I was poisoning her when it was time for her medication. Then she blinked and it all came back to her. 
I thought I could do this, but i cannot. I need help. The help the insurance took away. She wasn't ready to come home,but they put out what they wanted and washed there hands of her. It would have been 1300 dollars a day, had we become a cash patient. It just wasn't possible. So here I am being missed by my children and trying to figure out away to balance this life with the one I left behind.
My cousin Sara and I keep searching for help but money holds us back. She needs to live in a different setting ideally. Right now if a second full time caregiver could be brought in at least I could step foot back with my children. provides caregivers but I'm looking at an average of 25 dollars an hour. I'm a single mother raising my grandmother and it's not working. My kids are suffering without me. 
I need help our resources maybe I am unaware of. I just dont know what to seems the old are just forgotten. I can't forget. I can't not be here for her. I just do not feel I can give her what she requires. It is much more than a one man job. Any help loving grandma Lulu would be so very helpful.
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