Just a couple of days ago I realized that since I just started working in January, I have only accrued one sick day. I have already been absent for almost 3weeks now. My school has been AMAZINGLY supportive and understanding with the entire situation but unfortunately next payday I will not be receiving a pay check.
The reality has begun to sink in that even though David and Mommies world has somewhat come to a halt, the rest of the world continues on, bills are still due. The thought of how I am going to pay my mortgage and cover my bills has been extremely overwhelming for me. I have had to just trust God to provide because that's all I can do right now, but to be honest the more the bills pile up, the more I worry how God plans on providing.
I am a tough girl, who hates asking for help. Very few people know about our current financial situation or what kind of bind this hospital stay has put us in. I have and probably always will be that person who is always trying to save the world and am a very giving person, but I struggle to know how to be on the receiving end of things.
Today was an emotionally overwhelming day and although, I rejoiced that my son was being moved from ICU, I was also very discouraged and hurt by the doctor's words, and stressed about figuring out how to manage all the bills with no income. After the doctor upset me I left the hospital. I went home to get some air, get some clothes, and look at the finances. As I set in my office and began to weep, crying out to God. I recieved a phone call. I almost didn't answer it but for some reason I did.
It was David's teacher. He was calling to inform me that he works as an assistant coach at Gateway Community College and after hearing our story they wanted to help. They had decided to sale 100 bracelets for us and are also hosting a car wash for David. My heart was so touched I again wept. (Gosh I am such a cry baby these days) It is almost as if God keeps gently reminding me that "I got this". When life feels so hopeless and I begin to feel alone he God reaffirms that he is listening and does hear my cries! When I am not sure if or how he is going to provide he shows me. When I am not sure if I can endure another day of emotional torture he sends me a sign that things are and will continue to get better.
When I forget that "he will not leave me nor forsake me", he doesn't get offended he just proves it!
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