He reached out for help and support. Family was always there for him but we did not realise how deep his problems were until we found a post mortem file on his computer entitled ‘my life’. By then it was too late as he was gone.
Peider did not have an easy life. He was bullied due to health problems. Apparently he was ‘inappropriately’ abused. As a family, we had no idea and could never understand where his hate and rage came from. Throughout our years of fighting with him, we had no definite clue as to why he felt such sorrow and absolute rage and hate. This led Peider into a deep, helpless depression that we could not help him with, though we tried desperately with all we had. He struggled and even in his darkest moments, he was my sun shine go to person, always able to bring a smile to others, if not himself. His greatest spurce of expression was his poetry, rap and drawings.
His last wish, dream and ambition was to go back to the beloved country of his childhood – Australia. He tried to get his Australian passport renewed in order to escape Switzerland post haste, however bureaucracy kept pushing him down. No real reason even, just a lack of one document. One document. His biggest dream was to join the Australian Army. His brother lives there. Much of the family remains there. It was his home in his heart.
As his Mama, I am hell bent on fulfilling Peiders one last wish. I want to take him back to the country he loved so much. I cannot say goodbye to him here where his life was a miserable struggle, he never truly settled here and always yearned to be back in the sunshine he loved as a boy.
The impression is that because we live in Switzerland, we must have oodles of money. This is a land for the rich and for earning- but for those in good jobs only. Since I am unemployed with zero income, sadly this is not the case for us. Social support is poor to nonexistent here. We need help to give Peider the farewell he wanted and in fact deserves.
I want to take my son home and let him rest in peace in the country he loved and not stay cold and restless here, the place he decided he could no longer bear to exist in.
RIP my perfectly, wonderful son. The world has lost so much, your potential unrealised. I just hope that you are forgiven and that heaven has gained an angel.
I love you. Always have. Always will.
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