I'm Jacquie. At the age of 39, I am forced to start over in life with my 2-year-old son. I'm not very good at asking for help, but I am in desperate need of a boost up so that I can pull myself out of rock bottom. I apologize that this is so long, but I don't know any other way to explain my situation other than to explain it all at length.

I failed at an attempt to reconcile with my son's father. Thinking if I changed this, did this differently, didn't do this, etc., we would have the loving family our son deserved. Every day I was made to feel worthless and nothing more than a defective woman who could never do anything right. The entirety of 2024 was emotional turmoil, lies, manipulation, cheating, and a campaign against me to tear apart my soul for no other reason than the enjoyment my son's father received from it. After having complete mental breakdowns due to this abuse, I was always met with the I love you's, amazing family time, and a view of a happy family. As much as I tried to hang on to those moments, it never lasted. Looking back now, it was a cycle of abuse—a rollercoaster I didn't deserve to be on.

On October 25th, I was violently attacked while holding my son during a fit of rage. The attack left me unable to walk. After my phone was ripped from my hands so I couldn't call for help, I crawled to the back door, clutching my son in my arms, trying to get away from this man who had nothing but rage in his eyes, screaming at me to hand over my son. I finally got my phone back after screaming out the back door for help. I found out later that the neighbors did hear me but did not want to intervene. Over half an hour later, the police showed up with the paramedics. The police spoke to him first. They did not even take a report from me or ask me what had happened. They listened to him say I was crazy, unreasonable, and I gave myself these injuries. He successfully manipulated the officer. I was forced to leave my son with the same person who attacked me while holding him because my injuries were so severe that I needed to go to the emergency room. I have always supported our officers, but I was failed that night.

I didn't go back for a few days after the attack in order to rest my knee and separate myself. When I returned, there were no apologies from him. Instead, I was met with an inflated ego and pride-filled eyes, happy that he got away with it. Unbelievably, he told me that I was the abuser and that I had given him no choice but to seek full custody of our son and evict me from the home. He stated I made him snap all to set him up. This outrageous delusion absolutely terrified me. It was then I envisioned myself dead with people standing over me saying, 'Why didn't she leave?' I was done. I had enough and knew I needed to grab what I could, get out while he was at work, and file a police report to press charges. He was arrested the following day. Thankfully, my arm and knee had no breaks or fractures; however, I do have permanent scarring on my arm and a torn meniscus. I suffer from lupus, fibromyalgia, and glaucoma. Now I have this knee injury that not only causes me further pain every day but interferes with almost all daily activities.

For the past 2 months, I've been in shock, depressed, and utterly lost. The realization that I have to start from nothing at the age of 39 is devastating. Life hasn't ever been easy for me. But what has carried me was an underlying strength deep in my soul. This man has weakened me psychologically to a point where the only strength I have left is to breathe every day. I don't have any idea how to restart my life. The only thing I do know is that I can't do it on my own.

I spoke with 2 agencies through the State's Attorney's office. I told them my entire situation. I was given no resources or direction. I called shelters and was told that since my son and I had a couch to sleep on, we were considered safe and could not be placed. I was also told that they didn't have any transitional housing programs for domestic violence victims. I was searching to speak with some kind of social worker who could connect me to the resources I need to get back on track. Nothing was available for us. I went to the state aid office only to be told their systems are down and they couldn't help. Not to get political here, but if I was a migrant, I'd have everything needed to start a new life. Here I am, an American mother who fled from domestic violence, yet I am struggling to find resources to get my life back on track. I understand now why women choose to stay in abusive situations. There is no help when we do. Thankfully, I have a 21-year-old son who has been helping his brother and me. I don't have any other friends or family, so it has made it extremely difficult to get through this.

I want to find a room for rent & apply for an at-home job to save on childcare. But how am I supposed to pay for it? I would need to work in order to pay for a home to work from, but how am I supposed to work if I don't have money for childcare? My son and I need a place to call home. To say I feel lost is an absolute understatement. I know I need money to get somewhere, but I also need direction and assistance.

I'd like to collect enough to pay bills (car, insurance, storage, phone, etc.) for three months and get us into a room for rent. Then I can obtain a job and childcare. If you can find it in your heart and have the capability of helping us, please do.

Thank you!