Greetings. SecondLifers know me as Galathir Darkstone. I've been on the grid since 2007, when my RL wife, Sinjun Shepherd in that world, got me interested in it. Pretty much immediately I got into creating content for SL, with a penchant for Demonic Accessories and skins. Some may also know me from before Mesh Bodies became all the rage, when my Venus fitmesh breasts entered the market and then Osiris, my male "offering."

What many don't know is that my RL wife is also a Disabled USMC veteran. I am her primary caregiver. My first job, since I met her online in 2003 playing an MMO called Dark Age of Camelot, has been taking care of her. She has a lot going on, which made it impossible for me to work outside the home. SL became a fantastic opportunity to create and build and help relieve the stress on our finances.

In the years since I moved from New Orleans area to Michigan to be with my soon-to-be wife, there is actually a whole sordid tale of terror and emotional abuse that is driven by Sinjun's ex-mother-in-law and that evil witch's attempts to strip Sin's maternal rights away from her 3 kids and a prolonged legal battle to deal with all that nonsense. That woman was the bane of our existence for 18+years, including attempts to spread all manner of libelous stories to the community and legal pressures to deny any visitation with the youngest child... and an attempt to bribe the father of Sin's middle child to sue for custody and essentially hand her over to the evil witch. Frankly, a whole Novel would be needed to even scratch the surface here... so I'll just say that living Michigan near that family (Sin's ex's family was well established in the community as local business owners, and the evil matriarch is most likely a true sociopath) was hell of the worst variety, but the kids were emotionally invested in the community and were doing well in school. Shared custody of the youngest pretty much put the nail in the coffin of thoughts of escaping back down South, where both Sinjun and I grew up, and we made the best we could of situation.

In 2015, Sinjun was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer. Fortunately, it was caught early, and a full hysterectomy caught it all. By the end of 2017, she was in the green and mostly done with recovery. However, the entire experience was one that left a lasting impact on our lives, with a lot traction lost with my creating in SL. I had a few resurgences since then, but perspectives changed, and there were other priorities making sure she was as healthy as could be. In addition, our 4 kids were finishing high school and we were all trying to get a handle on them getting their adult lives started.

As our youngest spawn moved into their own place, our own situation was beginning to be a problem. The house we were renting was literally beginning to cumble, with a leaky roof, aged windows that the landlord said he was going to replace almost 10 years prior when we first moved in, and escalating electric bills that were absolutely abhorrent. We were extremely fortunate that Sinjun's cousin, whom she spent a significant part of her childhood with living with her mom and stepdad (and OMFG that's a whole prequel horror story of its own with their "parents" dealing drugs, running a prostitution ring, and so much other crap you would just never believe the stories that were actually fact), was in a position to help us finally get moved back down South from Michigan. As a contractor, he was refreshing a house for a local lawyer that needed a tenant, and arrangements were made so we could escape the hellish North and a crumbling house to move to a much better situation.

As I struggled with trying to relieve mounting financial stress, and cope with residual credit card bills from her cancer battle, I make a few other efforts to work from home in order to make some money. These efforts included unrelated-to-SL efforts to stream on Twitch, among other things. For those that know me there, I still go by Galathir, which my Twitch Channel known as GalathirGames. Mostly I stream Star Citizen, though I started with Final Fantasy 14, and also occasionally engaged with SWTOR, Star Trek Fleet Command, and New World (now New World: Aeternum). At the risk of disenchanting folks with a view of the man behind the curtain, you can have a peek at my channel here: https://www.twitch.tv/galathirgames

I had been making pretty good strides at growth with the channel as the dreaded COVID-19 set upon us. Some of life was good... and our youngest kiddo even enhanced the world with our first grandbaby! In fact, Sinjun's cousin sent her to visit the Grandbaby as a birthday present that year, which was probably the best gift she could have asked for! The downside? Airports are, as you probably know, the ripest of breeding grounds for the spread of biological threats! *queue dramatic music here*

Sin came home with COVID and delivered it straight to me, and that was a miserable experience. 10/10 do NOT recommend! Skip it! It drug on for a time with her, likely due to her immune-response issues and her COPD. It could have been a worse experience, though I'd be hard pressed to describe how short of mortality. Just... unpleasant!

COVID definitely interrupted all workflow for weeks, SL, streaming, and otherwise, but eventually things got back to normal. Or at least "normal" in the new, post-covid world.

And then in August of '22, I suffered a stroke. Very scary experience. One minute I'm watching TV with Sinjun, and the next she's asking me why I'm not answering her. And then I realized i really couldn't get any words out. No pain. No pop in the head. No nothing. Normal... and then not. Frankly, as someone who absolutely HATES being out of control on any front (which is why I don't partake of the mary jane or even do a much social drinking), it was absolutely terrifying. 911 was called and Sin went with me to the ER.

And thank the gods she went with me, because they were ready to write it off as a "complex migraine" and send me home, even though I was still feeling very confused and non-verbal. Sin made sure the doctor heard her when she expressed "NO! He is NOT right. This is not the way my husband acts or responds!" They did finally listen, and I was admitted to the hospital proper, and tests ensued.

Verdict: Stroke. Long term issues would require medication to manage blood pressure, and I would probably be on blood thinners forever.

Bright side: I don't have any noticeable physical problems. I haven't lost any manual dexterity. My language skills seem fine... now.

That was probably the most traumatizing part of the whole experience. Just suddenly not being able to communicate with anyone. Worse... I was listening to words I recognized... but after 2 or 3, I just COULD NOT follow what the sentence meant. It was... just awful.

This is the part where we come to the long term problems.

Over the last 2 years now, despite all of my best efforts and my doctors' attempts to mitigate it with medication, my focus is absolutely shot. I can pay attention to things, even intently, but only for short periods of time. This makes it VERY difficult to work on projects that have a protracted period of getting stuff done. I used to be able to, frankly, zerg my work. I could just pile on the hours and overcome my shortcomings. This allowed me to get the artwork done AND get the coding done. It allowed me to deal with Blender for 3D assets and animation. It let me spend countless hours in Photoshop until a new skin was ready, and all the various appliers and layers were suitable for packaging in SL.

Now? It is beyond frustrating how difficult it is to get any of it done. I still fight at it. Occasionally I have short bursts of productivity. I've gotten pretty close to a new skin base for Reborn, Maitreya, and Legacy (male and female). I'd even gotten back to building on the regions, which I still had big plans for (for a roleplaying community space and residences).

Now comes the other shoe.

A few weeks ago, my son (my RL son. And while I don't use the "step" word when it comes to any of my kids, I am going to add in this case that Greg is my biological son, my only actual blood child), who is only 32 years old was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Colon Cancer. He went to the ER because he had been dealing with back pain, and then suddenly had (a lot) of blood in his stool one morning.

BOOM. Cancer. It's already spread to his lungs and more. They give him a maybe a year.

Two days later he's in surgery for a colostomy. Within the following week they are scheduling a surgery to install an IV port to he can start chemo ASAP.

Frankly, I don't even know how to talk about it. If anyone can come back from that, he can. He's stubborn as hell and upbeat. He's ready to fight. His significant other is with him. In fact, as of this past weekend, she's now his Fiancee. She asked him to marry her. And I'm glad she's right there, because I'm literally 1,000 miles away. And for all of the reasons I've already shared in this friggin' book, it's going to be a struggle to even come visit him.

Which takes me to how now I've run out of time with the problems and SL. Here's the big ask:

Tier fees have caught up with me, and my account is locked and in jeopardy. When November 20th rolled around, my billing cycle hit again, and I've rolled over 30 days deliquent. At that time. $195 would have cleared the books for another 30 days for me to reach toward progress, and find a way to clear the 2 region tiers and my premium account billing. As ti stands now, I have opened a support ticket with LL to try and sort things out, but the only thing I know will clear it up is $612.46 paid asap to clear last month's 30+ days deliquency and last month's current billing. I bumped that to $650 for the goal here, since that would allow me to get ahead on next month's premium billing and any fees paypal might chew on the donations.

(Just to add: With my account currently locked, my SLMP store has been delisted. The regions ARE still currently online, but soon enough that won't be the case. When they go offline, my CasperVend boxes will vanish and so will my inworld store. Since my account is now locked, I can't even sell $L to help with the billing. Meaning I have to be able to pay the balance through Tilia.)

So... it might be apparent that I ramble. Post-stroke brain has even more of a tendency to do that since the event. Looking back at this wall of text, I have a feeling that I've shuffled some chronology around in between the move back Down South and the stroke, but I'm not sure I'm capable of sorting that out and continuing to make sense this morning. But all this... stuff... happened. And it continues to happen. My wife is my hero, and will continue to be my number one job. But I am a wreck at the though of my SL account and efforts all finally melting away. If you can help, at all, it would be appreciated.

I am as aware as anyone else that we all have our own stuff to deal with. You've all got your own bills and trials and tribulations. But I would appreciate it if you would keep us in mind. Maybe ask the gods and the powers that be to keep my son in mind. And maybe my wife and I as well.

P.S. My typing sucks, and I am a fail as an editor. My apologies for the length of this babble and any illegible bits. All my love and thanks for you taking the time to read this far. May your days always be brighter than the ones before.