Freedom From Lifelong OCD/Phobias

Hello, friends.
My name is Michelle and I am 26 years old. From the age of four (or as early as I've had memories), I have struggled with OCD, intense anxiety, and specific phobias that, over time, have gotten worse and out of control. Growing up, I struggled with these things by myself because I was ashamed to share my fears and compulsions. When I was 17, I finally plucked up the courage to tell my mom that I wanted to see a therapist. In 9 years, I have been to 8 different therapists, and while almost all of them had good intentions and were good at what they did, none of their approaches have worked for me to get better. The most effective treatment for my specific phobias is said to be exposure therapy, however, most therapists that specialize in exposure therapy do not take insurance. I have paid thousands out of pocket for two different therapists who did not approach exposure therapy correctly, and I made miniscule progress with them. 

My mental health issues not only cause me daily suffering and grief, but they hold me back from taking part in fun activities that "normal" people would not think twice about. They keep me from leaving my house on more occasions than I care to remember. I've had to miss events, outings, and travel opportunities that probably would have been fun and enriching experiences. And making excuses for why I can't attend those events leaves me with a ton of guilt. Since I consider home to be my "safe space", there are periods of time where it is more than difficult for me to leave the house. Holding down a job is not easy, because if something triggers my OCD/anxiety/phobias, it's hard to go to work. I have had to leave certain jobs because they caused me too much anxiety. Thankfully I have been able to find jobs that (most of the time) work for me, and don't trigger me too often, but I can't help but wonder what life would be like if I were to be able to be rid of these mental health issues that plague me on a daily basis. 

In February of 2016, I reached my breaking point. Something triggered me so badly that I was out of work for almost a week. I scheduled an emergency appointment with my wonderful talk therapist, and had my mom and boyfriend accompany me. All I kept saying and thinking was, "I don't want to live like this anymore". We were all on the same page and agreed that I needed way more help than I was getting. That was when I started the "exposure" (not really) therapy with one therapist, and went onto another soon after, only to be discouraged again because I was paying thousands of dollars to receive more talk therapy.

I haven't been to therapy since early August. I have researched a ton of therapists, approaches, and places, and found a few facilities with excellent reviews and success stories. The only thing that's been holding me back from going is money. None of these facilities accept my insurance, and even if I switched insurance providers, it still wouldn't be covered. So here, friends, is where I am asking for your help. The money that I raise will go towards treatment fees and hotel room costs. I will likely be in intensive therapy, which will mean I'll have to travel out of my comfort zone and stay in a hotel for at least a week or two. During this time I will also have to call out of work. And while work is so important, taking care of oneself is THE most important thing to do. 

I tried to make this as short as I could, but I had a lot to say, so if you read this whole thing, thank you so much for taking the time to do so. If you are a fellow human being who lives with anxiety, you know how debilitating it can be. Any amount you can donate will help. It would mean the world to me to come out of a lifelong shell and see how much more I can do. I don't really know who I am without my anxiety, and I'd love to figure that out without limitations that it puts on me. 

Thank you! 
Michelle