Financial Stability for Antoanette

Hello. My name is Antoanette, for those of you who do not know me. I am a white passing indigenous + multiracial non-binary person that goes by she/her and they/them pronouns. Earlier this year, I fundraised $4,000 via an instagram post to assist me with housing and medical needs after being kicked out of my living space. I found some place to live, a small room in Boyle Heights, in October. It cost me $2,400 to move in and then two months of $800 rent cleared my bank account. The first month of living here, I was doing SW until it became too re-traumatizing for me. I had recently escaped an abusive relationship, as well, and have not had enough time to recuperate. It felt as though I was reliving a lot of experiences that I did not want to repeat. Experiencing houseless-ness for a big chunk of the pandemic also escalated those feelings. I’ve felt almost non-existent as a person. I put SW on hold, for my well-being, and with the financial assistance of two friends, started a small food project (@cafeshleep on instagram). I’d like to say that it’s going well but I can only occasionally purchase some groceries or gas for my car. The majority of my winnings have gone back into the project, for supplies and ingredients. I do not have a stable source of income. As a chronically ill and disabled person, I was hopeful for SSI assistance (which I applied for in March) but they have left me on hold, indefinitely. I struggle with FND (Functional Neurological Disorder), an undiagnosed physical cerebral disorder, as well, and debilitating depression. My FND, as well as the results of my undiagnosed physical cerebral disorder (I had an intracranial hemorrhage because of it), physically impair me, variably. I use a cane to navigate the world, most of the time. Before being able to walk, I navigated the world in a wheelchair. Because of body tremors and major circulation loss, I also sometimes require a wheelchair, once again. Sometimes I am also dependent on a leg brace (which I am also on hold for after losing the one I had for so long) and my first fundraiser was also meant to cover the cost of a new one. With this fundraiser, I’d like to also cover the cost of a generic wheelchair for the days in which my body is failing to keep me balanced and safely upright. I would like this fundraiser to assist me with remaining alive because the reality of not being able to afford a living often sinks in for me and only contributes to frequent  suicidal ideations. I would like this fundraiser to assist me in this time where I, like many others, cannot find employment. I want to be able to expand my creativity with my food project and continue to make delicious treats for everybody. I want to be given the opportunity to find myself again and see life as something worth pursuing. I would like to be granted financial stability to recover, to feel safe, to survive.