
Cullen Bailey Zawada Mental Illness Fund
Donation protected
Dear Friends,
Never in my life would I thought I would have to resort to a GoFundMe Account to survive,
As some of you may know, I returned to Columbia in December 2018 to be close to my mother. What you did not know as that my mental illness had become so bad, coupled with fibromyalgia, 2 herniated discs, spinal stenonsis, and now, four bottom discs that virtually don’t exist anymore. I was unable to work for weeks at a time in Florida, and realized it was time to take Rick’s Social Security Survivor Benefits at age 60 (though, at a steep loss), and return home. My first year here I was plagued with severe mental illness, sent to outpatient intensive therapy for 5 days a week for 3 months, put on a completely different medical regimen which left me completely unable to leave the bed, much less leave the house (agoraphobia). While I was able to find a good psychiatrist (who put me back on my old medical regimen), and a good therapist, I do have good days - which is typical of Major Depressive Treatment Resistant Disorder. Unfortunately, the bad days also come - taking a pill, and even therapy is not a cure. My back problems became so bad, I couldn’t walk or stand for more than 5 minutes with, or without assistance. Working outside the home is a virtual impossibility. Back surgery may help, but with a $7800 deductible - just to get to a 50% co-pay, is an impossibility. I have reached rock-bottom. My mother has helped me as much as she can (she would help more, but she is going to need all of her investments, assets, etc. to take on what I see as an every increasing, yet slowly, dementia). I can no longer do this to my mother. Had I only to rely on my SSI, with my normal bills (rent, electric, Netflix (no cable or extras - cut them out), HOA/Auto Ins., Phone and Wifi, I can make it. It was unexpected expenses, and my mental illness (which causes severe memory lapses, so much so that I’ve forgotten those unexpected expenses, until they had drained my account). I made the mistake of robbing Peter to pay Paul, using Tribal Loans as assistance. The interest rate for these loans runs from 355% and above. I have learned that there is a lot of usury litigation out here, so I think I have a handle on these (and they were small loans - $300 - $500). Regardless, Peter has called his loans due. Many of you have lost the loves of your lives, and a part of me died when I lost my Rick.. I am not asking for your sympathy, here. Many of us have lost our spouses and gone on to live productive lives. But, my mental illness took a nose dive since Rick’s death. And, I am now at the very bottom of the pit. I am only asking what I can get through for my normal expenses though the next month (August). After that, I swear to you on my childen’s lives, I will never ask for another dime. Please excuse typos, My meds and tears have prevented me from thoroly proofreading (Vera and David and John). GOD FORGIVE ME!!!
Never in my life would I thought I would have to resort to a GoFundMe Account to survive,
As some of you may know, I returned to Columbia in December 2018 to be close to my mother. What you did not know as that my mental illness had become so bad, coupled with fibromyalgia, 2 herniated discs, spinal stenonsis, and now, four bottom discs that virtually don’t exist anymore. I was unable to work for weeks at a time in Florida, and realized it was time to take Rick’s Social Security Survivor Benefits at age 60 (though, at a steep loss), and return home. My first year here I was plagued with severe mental illness, sent to outpatient intensive therapy for 5 days a week for 3 months, put on a completely different medical regimen which left me completely unable to leave the bed, much less leave the house (agoraphobia). While I was able to find a good psychiatrist (who put me back on my old medical regimen), and a good therapist, I do have good days - which is typical of Major Depressive Treatment Resistant Disorder. Unfortunately, the bad days also come - taking a pill, and even therapy is not a cure. My back problems became so bad, I couldn’t walk or stand for more than 5 minutes with, or without assistance. Working outside the home is a virtual impossibility. Back surgery may help, but with a $7800 deductible - just to get to a 50% co-pay, is an impossibility. I have reached rock-bottom. My mother has helped me as much as she can (she would help more, but she is going to need all of her investments, assets, etc. to take on what I see as an every increasing, yet slowly, dementia). I can no longer do this to my mother. Had I only to rely on my SSI, with my normal bills (rent, electric, Netflix (no cable or extras - cut them out), HOA/Auto Ins., Phone and Wifi, I can make it. It was unexpected expenses, and my mental illness (which causes severe memory lapses, so much so that I’ve forgotten those unexpected expenses, until they had drained my account). I made the mistake of robbing Peter to pay Paul, using Tribal Loans as assistance. The interest rate for these loans runs from 355% and above. I have learned that there is a lot of usury litigation out here, so I think I have a handle on these (and they were small loans - $300 - $500). Regardless, Peter has called his loans due. Many of you have lost the loves of your lives, and a part of me died when I lost my Rick.. I am not asking for your sympathy, here. Many of us have lost our spouses and gone on to live productive lives. But, my mental illness took a nose dive since Rick’s death. And, I am now at the very bottom of the pit. I am only asking what I can get through for my normal expenses though the next month (August). After that, I swear to you on my childen’s lives, I will never ask for another dime. Please excuse typos, My meds and tears have prevented me from thoroly proofreading (Vera and David and John). GOD FORGIVE ME!!!
Organizer and beneficiary
Cullen Zawada
Organizer
Columbia, SC
Cullen Zawada
Beneficiary