Cat lady lost disability check

I have several mental illnesses.  Starting from childhood an raised by a narcissistic mother an molested by siblings an several other traumas. I have major depression no polar an insomnia an antisocial personality disorder an OCD. My cats are my only companionship an family. I am also a army veteran an have medical discharge. I filed for disability after I got sober from alcoholism in 2009. I have been hospitalized several times for suicide attempts an depression. I'm bad about making myself go to doctor therapist an even Just to buy food at store. I been taking care of myself alone for years with a few abusive relationship mixed in. My recent one was a bad narcissistic abusive one but I found my courage an worth enough to be brave an leave for good with my cats. I even saved an bought me a used car an was doing good until I got pulled over only 2 hours after buying my car . Small town cops can pick an chose who to blur light. I was nervous at night in rain an scared cause mental illness. I was treated horribly. Well my vehicle was search an I did breath test an submitted blood to test an passed those
 But failed field sobriety miserably. Well got arrested for DUI completely sober. Well July 2019 I had a disability review come an then few months later another then this past October yet another one. Well based opon not responsibly going to doctors regularly an taking an filling meds I was found only mildly disabled. An they suspended my disability benefits. I have had a job in years an I suck around people. I'm about to lose everything. I need help paying this month's bills while I file again an try an get work even with covid. Social security office not doing in person appointment but if I can get caught up an take care of myself an my only family my cats this month into next I'll be so much better an feel secure an safe an able to face my fears an get my confidence back. I'm black sheep in my family an I have only few friends. I hope someone will bless me an my kitties with anything an prayers please. I'm feeling so hopeless an trying hard to keep strong . Thank you